Monkeys Pay for Monkey Porn

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Posted by michael on Friday January 28, 2005 @08:33PM from the is-that-a-banana-in-your-cage-or... dept.

An anonymous reader writes "Give a monkey some spending money, and he'll blow it on pictures of women monkeys. He'll also pay to see dominant monkeys. But you'll have to pay him to look at inferior monkeys. That's the upshot of a study out of Duke that was designed to explore the 'social machinery of the brain with an eye toward helping autism patients.' Next up -- seriously -- the researchers want to run the same test on Joe Sixpack (sans the monkey business)."

24 of 391 comments (clear)

Do they - ? by Black+Parrot · 2005-01-28 20:34 · Score: 5, Funny

Do they spank the monkey as part of the experiment?

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Sheesh, evil *and* a jerk. -- Jade
1. Re:Do they - ? by Bazman · 2005-01-28 23:24 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  I think they call it 'Spanking the human'....
2. Re:Do they - ? by Ohreally_factor · 2005-01-28 23:28 · Score: 3, Funny
  
  I think you just invented monkkake.
  
  --
  It's not offtopic, dumbass. It's orthogonal.
3. Re:Do they - ? by plover · 2005-01-29 05:00 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  If a million monkeys at a million internet terminals downloaded porn...
  And how is this different from the internet today?
  
  --
  John
So... by jtbauki · 2005-01-28 20:35 · Score: 5, Funny

....the next time you get caught looking at porn, you can point to this article and say, "Hey it's not me, it's evolution, baby."
1. Re: So... by Black+Parrot · 2005-01-28 20:47 · Score: 3, Funny
  
  > Where can I download this monkey porn?
  
  alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.milf
  
  --
  Sheesh, evil *and* a jerk. -- Jade
Oooh ooh Aaah Aaah! Oooh ooh aaah aaah! by Anonymous Coward · 2005-01-28 20:35 · Score: 4, Funny

Grunt, grunt, grunt ...Screeeeeeeeeeech!
So... by mattiwatti · 2005-01-28 20:36 · Score: 5, Funny

Where can I download this monkey porn?
err... by Heem · 2005-01-28 20:37 · Score: 5, Funny

FTA:

The rhesus macaque monkeys also splurged on photos of top-dog counterparts

Anyone else get a completely different meaning out of that then they intended?

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Don't Tread on Me
Missing Option: by raehl · 2005-01-28 20:41 · Score: 4, Funny

Crack.

Oh, wait, this wasn't a poll?

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paintball
No boozers? by themast · 2005-01-28 20:42 · Score: 3, Funny

What, no 'fermented banana juice' to go with that fresh monkey pr0n?
Hahaha dumb monkeys by wileycoyoteacme · 2005-01-28 20:43 · Score: 5, Funny

i stopped paying for porn the day i discovered a web browser!

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Insert witty comment here
You Have The Right To A Peel by tiktok · 2005-01-28 20:55 · Score: 3, Funny

Peel a banana for a monkey, and he'll be fed for a day.

Teach a monkey to surf the Internet, and he'll find his own peelers.
some spending money by cgenman · 2005-01-28 21:03 · Score: 4, Funny

Give a monkey some spending money, and he'll blow it on pictures of women monkeys.

I wish they would stop referring to the students at Duke like that.

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The ______ Agenda
sorry, no dice by Anonymous Coward · 2005-01-28 21:08 · Score: 5, Funny

My boss doesn't like it when I call him "baby".
1. Re:sorry, no dice by gstoddart · 2005-01-29 04:54 · Score: 3, Funny
  
  My boss doesn't like it when I call him "baby".
  
  Give him some monkey porn and send him on his way. :-P
  
  --
  Lost at C:>. Found at C.
Re:Humans already do this by lachlan76 · 2005-01-28 21:12 · Score: 4, Funny

Well you can get naked chicks on the internet for free. Why pay for another cable channel? ;)
From the desk of Curious George... by SlimFastForYou · 2005-01-28 21:27 · Score: 3, Funny

I for one welcome our new female monkey porn dealing researcher overlords!
Oh, great by andreMA · 2005-01-28 21:30 · Score: 4, Funny

Just when the AOLers finally got booted from USENET, we'll have (another) group of primates arriving to endlessly post "MEEEE TOOO!!!!!"
Or perhaps the change will raise the overall level of discourse. Hard to say.
And how do researchers spend money? by adityapk · 2005-01-28 21:55 · Score: 5, Funny

>Give a monkey some spending money, and he'll blow it on pictures of women monkeys

Give researchers some money, and they'll spend it on monkey porn
Re:So, HOW can monkeys tell who is dominant by B747SP · 2005-01-28 22:14 · Score: 3, Funny

So, the question is: How are the monkeys able to see who is dominant and who is not?
Aww, geee, I dunno. It's just a wild and crazy guess on my part, and I certainly don't know exactly how it works with monkeys, but as far as squirrels go, I reckon that this squirrel is a dominant one.

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Re:experiment by Feztaa · 2005-01-28 22:29 · Score: 4, Funny

I guess I'm objecting to the notion that being male is the norm.

Don't be silly. Women only exist on the computer screen.
Hot ot not, eh? by Ceriel+Nosforit · 2005-01-28 23:59 · Score: 5, Funny

http://www.hotornot.com/r/?eid=BRG8K8H&key=EUB
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry...
*GG*

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All rites reversed 2010
Re:Missing the point: A cure is not needed by Colonel+Cholling · 2005-01-29 01:35 · Score: 3, Funny

All I needed was a small biopsy from each individual, about 10% of the brain mass. They called my proposal misguided too.

"They laughed at me, those fools! Well who's laughing now? Muahahahahaha!"

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I am Sartre of the Borg. Existence is futile.