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U.S. Army Guide to Code Breaking

sebFlyte writes "From the introduction of this document, the U.S. Army's field manual guide to Cryptanalysis: 'This manual presents the basic principles and techniques of cryptanalysts and their relation to cryptography. Cryptanalytics is the art and science of solving unknown codes and ciphers.'"

23 of 249 comments (clear)

  1. call stephenson by rootofevil · · Score: 4, Funny

    they found the cryptonomicon

    --
    turn up the jukebox and tell me a lie
  2. Yes, however... by grub · · Score: 5, Funny


    ...you know what they say about "military intelligence".

    Private : Sir! I found this, it may be a clue. Should I consult the field manual to cryptopgraphy?
    Sergeant : "Gur jrncbaf bs znff qrfgehpgvba ner va Fnqqnz'f Onfrzrag"? [crumpling paper] These are obviously the scribblings of a madman, Private. Get back to your patrol!

    --
    Trolling is a art,
    1. Re:Yes, however... by XMyth · · Score: 2, Funny

      Yvxr gurl qvqa'g ybbx gurer!

    2. Re:Yes, however... by GrAfFiT · · Score: 5, Funny

      For those who are too lazy, this is ROT13 for "The weapons of mass destruction are in Saddam's Basement"

    3. Re:Yes, however... by Spy+der+Mann · · Score: 4, Funny

      Private : Sir! I found this, it may be a clue. Should I consult the field manual to cryptopgraphy?

      Sargeant: "histay siay aay ecretay essagemay"? Yes, private. Consult the manual. Obviously this is beyond our capabilities.

    4. Re:Yes, however... by mspohr · · Score: 2, Funny

      I've always enjoyed the road sign on the GW Parkway to the "George Bush Center for Intelligence". This is, of course, Bush the elder. His son has his own view of the world: "I just want you to know that, when we talk about war, we're really talking about peace." -- George W. Bush /Mark

      --
      I don't read your sig. Why are you reading mine?
    5. Re:Yes, however... by silence535 · · Score: 2, Funny


      And yet another reason why ROT13 is inferior to double ROT13: inconvenience.

      --
      Dyslectics of the world, untie!
    6. Re:Yes, however... by eyegor · · Score: 2, Funny

      Actually, that should be:
      iah hsmihjjl emyy waay baoh ujauyj, pnh baij yavuyjg onpohmhnhmal vmusjio mo pjdalt hsj ijcvs aw baoh oycostahhjio. hsj cibd bclncy mo a zaat uycvj ha zjh ohcihjt

      I really hate typos.

      --

      Don't anthropomorphize computers, they don't like it.
  3. Light reading by Deekin_Scalesinger · · Score: 5, Funny

    A sneak peek at chapter 7:

    Solution of polygraphic substitution systems polyalphabetic substitution systems

    and that's just the title. Pack a lunch for this one...

    --
    "As the intrepid kobold companion continues his journey, he begins to wonder... if priests raises dead, why anybody die?
  4. Let's set them loose by AtariAmarok · · Score: 2, Funny

    Let's set them loose on Bill Gate's Doodle. It's worth an $800,000 Pentagon contract, init?

    --
    Don't blame Durga. I voted for Centauri.
  5. Usrh, dp? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0, Funny

    Ejp fprdmy lmpe jpe yp ntrsl vpfrd?

    1. Re:Usrh, dp? by Eric_Cartman_South_P · · Score: 2, Funny

      Nf! Ufhs h8g3j fkd Ud6gjf k fg45gf fski w0ot!

  6. US Army Guide to Everything. by k4_pacific · · Score: 5, Funny

    If it moves, shoot it.

    If it doesn't move, pick it up.

    If you can't pick it up, paint it.

    --
    Unknown host pong.
    1. Re:US Army Guide to Everything. by MooseByte · · Score: 3, Funny


      If it yells when you try to paint it, salute it.

  7. don't worry by kc0re · · Score: 2, Funny

    speaking from experiance of a military individual.. Army Cryptographers don't even read this manual ;)

  8. ASVAB by SadButTrue · · Score: 2, Funny

    so people that find the ASVAB challenging are supposed to read and understand this? I sure hope there are some civilians in the mix somewhere.

    --
    grape - the GNU free, open source rape
  9. doesn't matter by c0p0n · · Score: 2, Funny

    the title of the book is encrypted anyways. Don't expect that the military intelligence will be able to break _that_

    Wait... Military intelligence?!?

    --

    Your head a splode
  10. Re:Page 2 reads... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Step 1. Build a quantum factoring computer

    But seriously, how much good is a field manual going to do you when its possible for handheld computers to encrypt data to such a strong degree that it's theoretically impossible to decrypt with any likelihood of success that's indistinguishable from zero in the lifetime of the universe?

    I mean even if the guys at the NSA use different theories from the rest of us, I can only imagine that the methods they use still require vast amounts of hardware...


    Um, quantum computers just aren't possible. So stop thinkinging about them. Now, creating a universe whose primary purpose is to decrypt messages turns out to be fairly easy. The trick is to make the trillions of years of that unvierse pass for microseconds in this one. Who needs quatum computers.
    Some one is knocking on the door. Let me go check to see who it is...

  11. Code Breaker by nsaspook · · Score: 2, Funny

    A couple of hot hookers and a lot of booze.

    --
    In GOD we trust, all others we monitor.
  12. from the terces-egassem-seog-ereh dept by ultramk · · Score: 2, Funny

    hey, I didn't know Taco was Welsh!

    m-

    --
    You catch enchiladas by picking them up behind the head and holding them underwater until they don't kick anymore -VeGas
  13. Re:Distribution Restriction by nyekulturniy · · Score: 2, Funny

    The rule of thumb we used for FOUO was "Don't keep it in plain sight and don't tell anyone you have it, but if someone asks specifically for it, you can show it."

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    Nyekulturniy... Proudly confusing readers and editors since 1981!
  14. Re:USMC Guide to Everything. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    If it moves, fuck it or kill it.

    If it doesn't move, it's not your problem. Let the army deal with it...

  15. Whose weapons? by RedLaggedTeut · · Score: 2, Funny

    If you use a ROT-13 bookmarklet (google for it, maybe at E2), you will find that the parent is correct.

    Does anyone else find it funny that the army includes a table of the probability of english letters, i.e. di-and trigraphs in the document? What are they planning on, war with the British ;-)

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    I'm still trying to figure out what people mean by 'social skills' here.