Slashdot Mirror
What Do You Charge for Tech Support?
war3rd asks: "Years ago I used to offer tech support for friends and family (for free), and ended up doing it for everyone they and I knew. I cut it out because it was taking too much of my time, but I've been getting more and more requests lately due to everything from viruses, spam, spyware, as well as aging PC with Windows 98 and ME (oog!) on them still. I was thinking of saying OK to requests that are convenient, but I want to make it worth my while. So I ask, I'm sure that some of you out there must do this, what is the general going rate for basic user tech support (i.e. getting someone's home machine cleaned up and back to normal email & web browsing capability)?"
"I assume that there is probably some range in different parts of the country, but I'm curious anyway. And let's just assume that I live in the Tri-State area around New York City (can you say 'overpriced?'). I figure I should be able to pull in enough to feed my ever-present desire for better hardware, but on the other hand, I don't want to be a jerk and gouge people who should be able to trust me with their machines. So what to other Slashdot users charge for their tech support services?"
Nothing less than $300...regardless of the problem.
You couldn't pay me enough!
$499, but that's for a one-time fix. No more spyware, no more viruses.
--
"Open source is good." - Steve Jobs
"Open source is evil." - Microsoft
That way no one can work on it, and you're safe from further support calls. I like it!
given up on getting a girlfriend, eh? :)
"I'd rather be a lightning rod than a seismometer." -Ken Kesey
Ok, spill the beans.
What's "doorknobs" your secret word for?
...I'm not going to get into 'favours in pocket' involving my girlfriend...
/. :)]
[I get away with this 'cause she doesn't read
Windows in 6 Bytes (IA-32) : 90 90 90 90 CD 19
A pound of flesh, no more or less, not even to the twentieth part.
"Have you ever thought about just turning off the TV, sitting down with your kids, and hitting them?"
" Gas, grass or ass,
nobody rides for free! "
the preceding comment is my own and in no way reflects the opinion of the Joint Chiefs of Staff
Exploitation begins at home.
I feel bad in some ways
You feel bad because this crap is so easy for you because you're an alpha geek. But consider, others are not alpha geeks because while you were tinkering with computers, they were out getting laid and partying.
Now they're calling you.
You gave up sex, drugs and rock and roll to be this good. Make it pay off. ;)
I usually take payment in food and beer. It's amazing how eager someone is willing to cook you a meal or buy you a pizza just for getting BonziBuddy off their computer.
Same here, and it amazes me how many people offer beer as payment. How many people would offer beer to a mechanic before he fixes their brakes on their car before and while he does the work?
Is that you must drink the beer while doing the support. Preferably slam two or three before getting started ("I just need to warm up before I get to work"). Make sure to keep the person you are doing the support for in the room with you by constant conversation.
When you start to work on the computer do so in a distracted manner - keep talking and babbling while glancing back and forth at the screen. Horror stories about computer problems you've fixed (real or imagined) are good, but especially comments about things you've done that have fucked up computers. "Yeah I used to think anti-static wrist wraps were for pansies, then there was the time I blew out an entire system from one little spark. Damn, over $1000 in damages, just from my stupidity. Oh, were did I put that anti-static strap? Must have left it at home, oh well, no biggie."
Also make sure to make comments like "Whoops! Hmmm, well didn't really need that anyway.", "So you do shopping on the Interweb? Man you should change your password, that one is too easy to hack." "What are these pictures of? analdogsex.com? I didn't know you leaned that way." "Jesus! You've got more spyware than the Kremlin in here!"
If you are really mean you can also play some nice practical jokes while you are there. You know the stuff - make hardcore porn auto launch when you log in, switch the sounds out for farts. Whatever floats your boat.
Odds are you can do the tech support blind, deaf and drunk anyway but the nice thing is you get to entertain yourself, terrify your friend and quite possibly next time your friend will take the machine to a shop instead of calling you to fix it.
Sometimes my arms bend back.
I have been a unix admin and currently am a network engineer. I don't "do windows" professionally. Still, my dad often calls for help. Once I pointed out that as a professor he has a university IT department he can call for help with their computers. His response?
"Listen, I didn't pay for 4 years of college to get lip outta you. Now shut up and answer the fucking question."
Yeah, Dad, I love you too...
"Where quality is like a dead stinking rat - you just can't miss it."
(markup language nazi) So why did you turn off the appropriate tag before the text is was supposed to refer to? (/markup language nazi)
(/smartass)
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$35 an hour if you leave me alone.
$50 an hour if you watch.
$100 an hour if you help.
don't bother me with triffles.
ah, the truffle with triffles.
soupy twist
I told my wife she could either switch to Linux or not have tech support. She's been a happy Linux user ever since.
Engineering and the Ultimate