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The Cure for Cancer Might be: HIV
RGautier writes "Wired News has published that Scientists have successfully modified the AIDS-causing HIV in such a way that it can attack metasticized melanoma (cancer cells). The impact of genetic research on cancer research is in and of itself amazing. To mix this with the strategy of using one strong enemy against another is brilliance! Research will continue, obviously, but they are already reporting success on living creatures." Just think: between HIV and carrots we'll be all set.
The bad news is you have cancer. The good news is you have HIV!
...Smoking cures cancer, too!
I think I'd go with the carrots. I dunno, maybe I'm just weird.
Hero of Allacrost, a FOSS RPG for *NIX/*BSD/OS X/Win
The microscopic version of Alien Vs. Predator
The cure for HIV might be... Cancer?
Quid festinatio swallonis est aetherfuga inonusti?
Africus aut Europaeus?
we could find a way to use SCO agianst the MPAA...
"I prescribe disease-riddled hookers. Take one after every meal."
The coolest voice ever.
And the cure for HIV is Heart Disease!
Crushing my karma one post at a time.
So when this hits the market, will HIV be cheaper in Canada than the US?
www.kiwilyrics.com - a wiki for lyrics
I knew this girl in college that did amazing things with candles and vegetables, including carrots. I know for a fact she won't die of cancer. She OD'd in '86.
My user name was a mistake. Input wasn't restricted, my bad.
After the gorillas kill the crabs sent to kill the herpes sent to kill the flu sent to kill the acne sent to kill the hiv sent to kill the cancer, they'll just freeze to death once winter comes.
Where does the school board find them and why do they keep sending them to ME?
Maybe HIV-Lite? Or I Can't Believe It's Not HIV!
Crushing my karma one post at a time.
qed
Fleur de Sel
Do we really want to turn our bodies into a battlefield for germ warfare?
;)
I ask myself that same question everytime I eat out... the answer is yes... yes I do... taco-hell is just too good to pass up, and the other germs I picked up from KFC and the chinese food place down the street will battle it out...
---
Programming is like sex... Make one mistake and support it the rest of your life.
Totally offtopic, but your joke made me think of another I heard somewhere.
A guy goes to the doctor about a problem he's having. After a thorough examination, the doctor says to the patient, "I have good news and I have bad news."
"Well doc, let me hear the good news first.", says the patient.
To which the doctor responds, "Well, the good news is, we're going to name a disease after you!"
I'm not gay, my cock sucking is for medicinal purposes only.
"Hey, Nice boots. Wanna fight cancer?"
Episode 238: The Mansion Family
Build it, and they will come^Hplain.
"But Doc, how're we gonna get ridda this tumor?"
"Bend over, Billy. Bend over"
They loved to push HIV and Aids as a desease that God sent to punish the immoral. Now that it could be altered to fight canser, does it mean that God created the desease and made it spread so we can put a lot of resources at it and find a way to turn it into a force for good? God expecting us to do good things it seems a bit far fetch.
If something is so important that you feel the need to post it on the internet... It probably isn't that important.
What, like sexually transmitted cancer?
"Da ist ein Technölüst in mein Unterpanten!"
Oh, great. If the future of medicine means that cures will be spread via sexual contact, I'm a dead man for sure!
And the cure for Heart Disease is exercise, which means that we're all doomed.
Does the next step involve gorillas?
Gamingmuseum.com: Give your 3D accelerator a rest.
Fetuses are, for the most part, tumors...
Pregnancy, the only STD with a 100% mortality rate!
Now where's that "+0 Creepy" moderation button?
:S.
It's 2am, and I did not need those images before going to sleep
And the cure for Heart Disease is exercise, which means that we're all doomed.
Oh really? Don't geeks have Dance Dance Revolution?
If you're at a bar chatting up some beautiful woman, which do you think is going to hurt your chances more?
1. "I had radiation treatment which got rid of my cancer."
2. "I got injected with HIV which got rid of my cancer."
Is that HIV without the adware?
Good news, we have a cure for your cancer.
Bad news, Bruno here is going to administer it.
Unix, an obscure operating system developed by bored researchers in an attempt to get a better game playing experience.
without the malware
I mod down so you can mod up. Your welcome.
HIV Reduced Media Edition?
Somewhere in the heavens... they are waiting.
Due out next month is a study that shows amazing results curing AIDS by implanting tumors into HIV positive patiences...
But white bloodcells and HIV have been fighting each other for so long can we really expect them to put aside their diffrences and work together for a common goal?
Technology, the cause of and solution to all of life's problems.
Wow, the modding on this stupid post of mine is exciting! +1 Funny and -1 Overrated are running neck and neck! GO +1 FUNNY GO!
Yes, Mondays are slow here.
Crushing my karma one post at a time.
Things will be reasonably quiet until a few outcast terrorist HIV strands decide to hijack an errant blood clot and crash it into the aortic valve.
Following that, security will start "screening" the blood so finely that the backlog of blood waiting to enter the heart causes our blood pressure to skyrocket, causing us to all die early of heart attacks.
But they'll tell us it's in our best interests, and we'll go along with it anyway.
Video meliora proboque deteriora sequor - Ovidius
It's not "heavy doses of radiation", it's radiotherapy. And no one takes "heavy doses of toxic chemicals"; they get chemotherapy. From now on "genetically altered HIV virii" will be known as Happy Fun Gene Therapy.
...is that the cure for cancer is sexually transmitted!*
Sure as hell beats chemo!
*Of coarse I didn't RTFA.
Would that be like zero-carb HIV? Or HIV98se?
What a headline that would be.
I`m personaly still recovering from the shock of being intentionally infected with envelope remains of the Polio virus, in my childhood.
Outrageous! I demand reparations!
Friend of the Wise, Brother of the Brave.
No, we're not all doomed - if all slashdot users were to disappear I think human reproductive rates would continue essentially unchanged.
Zombies are a major health risk. Their predilection for eating brains makes them an ideal vector for Bovine Spongiform Encephalopathy, AKA Mad Cow Disease, thanks to the bizarre bits of protein known as prions.
Isn't that what are bodies are already doing as we speak? There is a constant battle going on that you are not aware of. If this new HIV variant is otherwise inert, I don't see any problem using it to attack cancer cells. Although it would kinda suck to find that the HIV stuck around even after its job was done. Eventually everone would have it.
-matthew
"THERE IS NO JUSTICE, THERE IS ONLY ME." -Death
"Sir, I've got bad news. You've got cancer and Alzheimer's."
--"Well at least I don't have cancer!"
Wer mit Ungeheuern kämpft, mag zusehn, dass er nicht dabei zum Ungeheuer wird. --Nietzsche
.... and where the backdoor has not been exposed to a malicious worm.
Skinner: Well, I was wrong. The lizards are a godsend.
Lisa: But isn't that a bit short-sighted? What happens when we're
overrun by lizards?
Skinner: No problem. We simply release wave after wave of Chinese
needle snakes. They'll wipe out the lizards.
Lisa: But aren't the snakes even worse?
Skinner: Yes, but we're prepared for that. We've lined up a fabulous
type of gorilla that thrives on snake meat.
Lisa: But then we're stuck with gorillas!
Skinner: No, that's the beautiful part. When wintertime rolls around,
the gorillas simply freeze to death.
"...today consumers have been conditioned to think of beer when they see a bullfrog..."
Recent market research shows the phenominal popularity of words that connect with Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, and Harry Potter. Furthermore, they also show the connection with immortality or avoidance of death by characters in those phenomina.
As such, the best possible name is Darth Voldemort's Precioussss One Ring Remedy.
It's a small world and it smells funny; I'd buy another if it wasn't for the money; Take back what I paid (SoM)
I'm caucasian you insensitive clod!!
Skinner: Well, I was wrong. The lizards are a godsend.
Lisa: But isn't that a bit short-sighted? What happens when we're overrun by lizards?
Skinner: No problem. We simply unleash wave after wave of Chinese needle snakes. They'll wipe out the lizards.
Lisa: But aren't the snakes even worse?
Skinner: Yes, but we're prepared for that. We've lined up a fabulous type of gorilla that thrives on snake meat.
Lisa: But then we're stuck with gorillas!
Skinner: No, that's the beautiful part. When wintertime rolls around, the gorillas simply freeze to death.
"I had HIV therapy, want me to cure YOUR cancer?"
Shoot Pixels, Not People!