First PC Virus Spreads to Humans

Davidlost writes "A PC-to-human virus, known as Malwarlaria.B is spreading in humans after a mass spamming in the early hours of Friday morning. It spreads through contact with keyboards on infected PCs. Be afraid, be very afraid."

Comments

Oh, tee-hee, it is to laugh

[MoxCamel]

1992 called, and wants its joke back.

Note to staff: The thing about April 1st jokes is that they should be subtle enough to catch the reader unawares. There's nothing subtle or clever about a constant slew of joke stories, most of which wouldn't fool even my PHB. Consider trying for a ratio of about 5 real stories to 1 "fool" story next year.

(Yeah, I'm being a curmudgeon, so fsck'ing mod me. I like a good April Fool story as much as the next geek, but it stops being funny after a barrage.)

Mox

Re:Oh, tee-hee, it is to laugh

[sumdumass]

Well, infectious puchcards are more realistic then a computer virus.

Just imagine a worker with hepetitus and doesn't know it because he hasn't seen a doctor since the last cocain party he was at. Now he was handling the cards, aven after sneezing,touching his eyses and mabey some other body parts with fluids. Not get a paper cut form one of the puch cards he was handling?

I have no idea if that could even hapen but it sounds liek it could. Kind of like getting aids from drinking after someone with it.

Re:Oh, tee-hee, it is to laugh

[_xeno_]

Personally, I think Slashdot should do a total of two April 1st stories. One should be a Slashdot prank, and be done at or around 6AM GMT. Something like "removing the ability to post anonymously" or "due to an FBI subpeona, we will be retroactively displaying the actual poster of all AC posts starting April 15th" - something that's mildly plausible but clearly not really happening.

(Actually, they already did the first one. It wasn't that funny because it was buried among a deluge of other April 1st stories.)

The second story should be done some time later in the day, and should be a wrap-up of the various funny April Fools jokes done on other sites. Simply collecting and reporting on every single April Fools joke out there is, as the parent post says, simply a barrage of pointlessness.

Yes, we know, it's April 1st. It's deadly obvious. A good April 1st joke requires someone to look at the calendar and say "oh, it's April 1st!" So far, that hasn't really applied.

Re:Oh, tee-hee, it is to laugh

[Anonymous Coward]

1992 called, and wants its joke back.

2000 called and wants their insult back......(sigh)

Re:Oh, tee-hee, it is to laugh

[eyegor]

Even better:

Make it appear to be an anonymous posting to the poster only. Everyone else sees their ID.

Hilarity ensues

Re:Oh, tee-hee, it is to laugh

[b1t r0t]

Now he was handling the cards, aven after sneezing,touching his eyses and mabey some other body parts with fluids.

Eeeeeeewww! Punch card pr0n!

Wouldn't jizzing on the cards tend to jam the reader?

I DID NOT EXPECT THIS

[Jailbrekr]

Christ, if you are going to post an april fools joke, at least MAKE IT FUNNY. Y'know, zombie pope funny.

The things I worry about this hoax

[tekiegreg]

A) That this hoax will spread around and find it's way into my inbox daily for the next 10 years...*sigh* set Spam Filter: If messageText="Malwarlaria" then Bounce message.

B) Eventually some jerk will make a real (even if just computer) virus of that same name.

C'est la vie....

geez!

[theMerovingian]

Now I'm getting diseases from my internet girlfriend too!

(just kidding if you're reading this honey)

Oh NO!!

[reidleake]

I think I already got it.

Infectious

[fulldecent]

In Soviet Russia, users infect computers...


... wait, it's pretty much like that everywhere

Zombies

[maotx]

Infected users have been spotted mass-mailing commercial advertisements to residents and buisnesses alike to "enl4rg3 th3ir g1r7h and l3ng7h"
Some instances have been reported of the infected gathering in large numbers, known as Destroyers of Sells (DoS), at major corporations and retailers to block the the doors allowing noone in. Symptoms include slow performance, to much chatter (blondes excepted), and zombie like movements demanding the brains of a v14gra man.

Zzz.....

[Seft]

I'm glad I'm not paying for this junk....

Imagina a Beowulf cluster of these!

[behemot]

EOM

Er?

[matthew.thompson]

Aren't these meant to stop at midday?

802.11

[NotoriousQ]

Phew. I was afraid that those 802.11 chips I had embedded into myself made me more susceptible to the virus. But seeing how it only spreads through the keyboard...... .....uh oh...... I knew I should have implanted a usb keyboard driver chip as well. Well I will go find a plastic bubble / faraday cage combo, and will sit there untill this thing blows over.

I will see you later.

Aha

[John Jorsett]

This would explain why I have a sudden urge to make unsolicited telephone sales calls.

Is it fatal?

[93,000]

That would at least spare me the rest of the day reading this bunk.

Announcement from the White House

[AtariAmarok]

President George W. Bush: "In response to this human catastrophe, I am calling Kuala Lampur right now to recall the ambassador to Malwarlaria."

Re:Fatal Virus Spreads to /. editors

[Rosco P. Coltrane]

I agree. The pope's dying story is a much better april's fool.

Even Better Joke

[Anonymous Coward]

Wouldn't a true Slashdot April Fools Joke be one where all the articles throughout the day WEREN'T fake?

Re:Fatal Virus Spreads to /. editors

[TheViffer]

The only day of the year when "First Post" messages are more informative then the article.

Funniest april fool...

[EpsCylonB]

Apparently there was a bmw ad in a british newspaper advertising "the worlds first hands free steering wheel due to a EU ban on right hand drive cars".

Also on bbc radio 2 they pretended that a memorial to the queen mum was going to be lump of granite placed in pall mall. Lots of of people got quite upset about it, funny really.

I hope...

[Tribbin]

I hope I get the Kournikova virus!!!

I couldn't have said it better myself.

[cbreaker]

The last few years I've looked forward to trying to guess which Slashdot story was the fake one on April 1st. I think Last Years was pretty good, but I don't really remember.

But when you try to do it over and over like this it's really stupid and takes away all the fun of it.

Slashdotters are lame

[mollog]

The people who insist on pointing out the obvious fact that these 'news articles' are in fact, gags, are lame. Not only are they humor impaired, they lack the wit to form a thoughtful criticizism of the gags. Please note that there is a difference between being discerning and being critical. Many don't get that disctinction and think themselves clever when they are able to find fault. It's too bad so many of us can't attempt even a minimal retort in the spirit that the slashdot admins are showing. Come on people, are we so weak minded we can't even think up a clever response to this stuff?

Here's how it works

[exp(pi*sqrt(163))]

On April Fool's Day the idea is that you tell people stuff that isn't true so that they are fooled into believing it and we get to laugh at them. The important thing is that they need to be fooled into believing it. Just saying stuff that isn't true kinda misses the point. Admittedly it makes the speaker of the untrue stuff seem like a fool but April Fool's Day is more about make other people seem like fools than being a fool yourself. You're allowed to do the latter any day of the year. Make sense?

If you lack the skill to fool other people another alternative is to say stuff that's untrue but funny. I've always felt this was a poor substitute for playing a joke on someone else but it is generally considered an acceptable form of April Fool's Day behavior.

Anyway, now you're ready and armed to properly enjoy this special day that's granted to us but once a year.

It's about the same as usual

[StCredZero]

Posting this as a "good" April Fool's joke is just about the same as posting a "serious" story about a nanotech-based sticker that will improve your cell phone battery.

And yes, I'll agree. This doesn't even get up to the PHB level! Slashdot needs science editors with a clue!

Note to self.

[TractorBarry]

1 Don't bother looking at Slashdot on April 1st again - EVER.

2 Probably best to skip April 2nd too (that's when the dupes will appear)

Honestly one well written, slightly believable, story would have been great (maybe two at a push) but today Slashdot smelled worse than a dead Tramps feet dipped in dogshit.

Stuff like this makes baby Jebus cry...

You need....

[mikael]

... the Random slashdot story generator

Oh yeah?

[Manhigh]

1992 called, and wants its joke back.

Well the jerk store called...and they're running out of you!

-obligatory Seinfeld reference

Snow Crash

[NekSnappa]

I can't believe this stroy has been up this long with out a reference to "Snow Crash" Guess I fixed that!