First PC Virus Spreads to Humans

Davidlost writes "A PC-to-human virus, known as Malwarlaria.B is spreading in humans after a mass spamming in the early hours of Friday morning. It spreads through contact with keyboards on infected PCs. Be afraid, be very afraid."

Comments

Oh, tee-hee, it is to laugh

[MoxCamel]

1992 called, and wants its joke back.

Note to staff: The thing about April 1st jokes is that they should be subtle enough to catch the reader unawares. There's nothing subtle or clever about a constant slew of joke stories, most of which wouldn't fool even my PHB. Consider trying for a ratio of about 5 real stories to 1 "fool" story next year.

(Yeah, I'm being a curmudgeon, so fsck'ing mod me. I like a good April Fool story as much as the next geek, but it stops being funny after a barrage.)

Mox

Re:Oh, tee-hee, it is to laugh

[trevdak]

They missed the boat on this joke by not calling it Snowcrash.

Re:Oh, tee-hee, it is to laugh

[FlopEJoe]

Ah... but we got a real storry if we merge this with http://science.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=05/03/3 1/170240&tid=191, "Brain-Implanted Chips Allow Control of Technology"

Re:Oh, tee-hee, it is to laugh

[PepeGSay]

This April fools Feels particularly uninspired

Re:Oh, tee-hee, it is to laugh

[sumdumass]

Well, infectious puchcards are more realistic then a computer virus.

Just imagine a worker with hepetitus and doesn't know it because he hasn't seen a doctor since the last cocain party he was at. Now he was handling the cards, aven after sneezing,touching his eyses and mabey some other body parts with fluids. Not get a paper cut form one of the puch cards he was handling?

I have no idea if that could even hapen but it sounds liek it could. Kind of like getting aids from drinking after someone with it.

Re:Oh, tee-hee, it is to laugh

[_xeno_]

Personally, I think Slashdot should do a total of two April 1st stories. One should be a Slashdot prank, and be done at or around 6AM GMT. Something like "removing the ability to post anonymously" or "due to an FBI subpeona, we will be retroactively displaying the actual poster of all AC posts starting April 15th" - something that's mildly plausible but clearly not really happening.

(Actually, they already did the first one. It wasn't that funny because it was buried among a deluge of other April 1st stories.)

The second story should be done some time later in the day, and should be a wrap-up of the various funny April Fools jokes done on other sites. Simply collecting and reporting on every single April Fools joke out there is, as the parent post says, simply a barrage of pointlessness.

Yes, we know, it's April 1st. It's deadly obvious. A good April 1st joke requires someone to look at the calendar and say "oh, it's April 1st!" So far, that hasn't really applied.

Re:Oh, tee-hee, it is to laugh

[Zaiff Urgulbunger]

Note to staff: The thing about April 1st jokes is that they should be subtle enough to catch the reader unawares. There's nothing subtle or clever about a constant slew of joke stories, most of which wouldn't fool even my PHB. Consider trying for a ratio of about 5 real stories to 1 "fool" story next year.

Note 2: Some countries are no longer in "fool" time and as a consequence, I was able to see this "news" article for what it was quite clearly!

Re:Oh, tee-hee, it is to laugh

[Anonymous Coward]

1992 called, and wants its joke back.

2000 called and wants their insult back......(sigh)

Re:Oh, tee-hee, it is to laugh

[eyegor]

Even better:

Make it appear to be an anonymous posting to the poster only. Everyone else sees their ID.

Hilarity ensues

Re:Oh, tee-hee, it is to laugh

[BoomerSooner]

Amen, I hope this bullshit ends soon. Thank "God" that the next two fucking April Fools fall on Saturday & Sunday.

Re:Oh, tee-hee, it is to laugh

[Striikerr]

Makes me think of the Simpsons where Bart was looking at the "Where's Waldo" book. Waldo was standing there in the middle of an empty field with his hands in his pockets looking bored. The parallel to the April 1st jokes this year is pretty clear. No effort. To paraphrasae yet another Simpson's character.... "Worst April Fool's Day ever"

Re:Oh, tee-hee, it is to laugh

[Gentoo Fan]

This April fools Feels particularly uninspired

So it's like every April Fools Day on Slashdot for the past 5 or so years...

Re:Oh, tee-hee, it is to laugh

[ajs]

"Note to staff: The thing about April 1st jokes is that they should be subtle enough to catch the reader unawares."

Note to Slashdot readers new to the concept (your UID says one thing, your post says another): Slashdot is a Web Log in the original sense (not the modern "I wanna type where everybody knows my name" sense), and as a result they report on the goings on of the day on the Net. If you have a problem with the idea that people are putting up lame-ass April fools jokes today -- and so that's what there is to "log" on Slashdot -- then go create something wonderfully inventive on April 1 next year!

Re:Oh, tee-hee, it is to laugh

[mormop]

What really disturbs me is that presumably, enough people were taken in by this, to justify this.

No wonder estate agents and used car salesman have such an easy time

Re:Oh, tee-hee, it is to laugh

[Xoro]

Unbelievable.

People still think Slashdot is trying to fool them by posting dozens of fake news links -- how clever of you to see through the completely obvious. If you were any more dense you'd bend light.

I guess even if the stories aren't funny, we can still laugh at you.

Re:Oh, tee-hee, it is to laugh

[sbeashwar]

Nice Try !

Re:Oh, tee-hee, it is to laugh

[Lovesquid]

I was actually GLAD to hear that this one was not an April Fool's joke:

Pat Buchanan doused with Salad Dressing

Real life is much more hilarious than fiction.

Re:Oh, tee-hee, it is to laugh

[bob_herrick]

Those into Everquest might look at the reponse to Allakhazam's hoax annoncement of fee increases and time based charges. It got me at first, along with a lot of others.

Re:Oh, tee-hee, it is to laugh

[b1t r0t]

Now he was handling the cards, aven after sneezing,touching his eyses and mabey some other body parts with fluids.

Eeeeeeewww! Punch card pr0n!

Wouldn't jizzing on the cards tend to jam the reader?

Re:Oh, tee-hee, it is to laugh

[qurk]

Honestly, I find people who complain about April 1st fun to be much much more annoying than the fake stories. I mean, what are they supposed to do on April 1? Like there's going to be a million legit stories on April 1 that the editors are ignoring to shove these fake jokes down your throat, just to personally piss you off!

:) Seriously, lighten up guys!!!

Re:Oh, tee-hee, it is to laugh

[rjelks]

My doctor just told me I tested positive for Malwarlaria.B, you insensitive clod.

Re:Oh, tee-hee, it is to laugh

[Sheepdot]

No offense, but are there *any* websites out there that promise to report actual news on April 1st? This is boring and ridiculous every year.

Seriously, there are legitimate stories out there. Like the Pope's health. I'm not even Catholic and I'd like to know if anyone would even believe he died today because of all the stupid April Fools crap.

This gets old. VERY old. If you want to be subtle, like the parent suggests. Do at most one really, really, good subtle joke.

Re:Oh, tee-hee, it is to laugh

[Reene]

I have no idea if that could even hapen but it sounds liek it could. Kind of like getting aids from drinking after someone with it.

I hope this is misplaced and you're just being facetious, but you don't "get AIDS" from anyone; you develop AIDS after contracting HIV.

And you can't contract HIV simply by drinking after someone (even if they bleed a little on the cup)...You can't even get it by kissing them, barring the both of you having a decently sized open bleeding wound in the mouth, at which point I'd hope both of you wouldn't feel up to kissing much of anyone anyway.

Re:Oh, tee-hee, it is to laugh

[sumdumass]

Yes, i think i understand the point you are making that about my statment.

I asure you i wasn't attempting to disiminate information to make people scared about aids but only comparing how it is belivable enough for people to have thought it could. It was meant to be more of a statment of how plausible the punchcard infections could be rather then saying how you get aids. I guess i used some poor wording and maybe a touchy subject for many. You goto admit though, without being educated on aids and how it spreads, most people wouldn't know it was false. Maby so many people even with education would still think it could happen and that is why you felt the neccesity to post.

To all those in doubt, you cannot get aids from drinking after someone. Unless that drink is alcohol and you end up having decisionly impared unprotected sex that gives you H.I.V. and the not treating it allows it to turn into aids.

Re:Oh, tee-hee, it is to laugh

[taanstaafl]

I agree with you. My dentist said he could get HIV from inhaling my tooth dust. He is misinformed or am I. I have always sorta wondered about saliva, snot, and tears too.

Re:Oh, tee-hee, it is to laugh

[Reene]

Point taken, then. It is a touchy subject for me.

The punchcard thing is a bit more plausible, though...All sorts of nasty things collect on old stuff like that. A case of a guy getting a necrotic wound from scratching himself on an old bedpost while moving comes to mind. You'd have to be really unlucky, but you could theoretically get the same thing from a papercut.

At the very least, it's more than possible you could get an infection that would require prescription-strength topical antibiotics. Nothing life-threatening (as long as it's not staph and it doesn't turn necrotic) but still something to worry about whenever you get a wound from something likely to be swimming with bacteria and viruses (dusty old punchcards, again, being a good source of both).

Re:Oh, tee-hee, it is to laugh

[Reene]

Realistically, HIV almost _always_ needs some kind of direct way of getting into the bloodstream to cause infection. The myth about HIV being a "homosexual disease" has some basis in fact because of this; the nature of anal sex makes it more likely that abrasions and bleeding will occur which facilitates the transfer of HIV. Naturally, this is possible with heterosexual anal/vaginal sex as well, but the association with male homosexual sex should be obvious.

HIV cannot be transferred via tears, snot, or saliva to my knowledge (IANAD). And either way you'd need an open wound of some kind to make transferring it even remotely statistically likely. :) Tooth enamel certainly offers no risk, so short of drilling past the enamel and into the pulp to the point of bleeding (and miniscule amounts of aerosolized blood...well, do I even have to say it?) it's not possible.

Re:Oh, tee-hee, it is to laugh

[skybird0]

They're called "Whoopee Cards."

Actually not, a Whoopee Card is a card with all the holes punched out. Used to jam various unit record machines.

Fatal Virus Spreads to /. editors

[Winckle]

Banally overdoing april fools day

Re:Fatal Virus Spreads to /. editors

[IANAAC]

I've given up any hope of reading anything interesting for the day.

I'll come back tomorrow to pick up where we left off yesterday :-)

Re:Fatal Virus Spreads to /. editors

[Rosco P. Coltrane]

I agree. The pope's dying story is a much better april's fool.

Re:Fatal Virus Spreads to /. editors

[TheViffer]

The only day of the year when "First Post" messages are more informative then the article.

Re:Fatal Virus Spreads to /. editors

[Sexy Bern]

Does NetCraft confirm it?

Re:Fatal Virus Spreads to /. editors

[QQoicu2]

Hmm. Seems like first posts actually are more informative, on a regular basis...

Re:Fatal Virus Spreads to /. editors

[temojen]

The local paper here had a front page story (below the fold) about the pope recovering. I thought it was the april fools joke.

Re:Fatal Virus Spreads to /. editors

[Fizzog]

At least that was better than the World Cup telecast being interupted because OJ Simpson was driving on a freeway in Los Angeles...

Re:Fatal Virus Spreads to /. editors

[Teja]

The only day of the year where I'd rather be at K5 than here.

Re:Fatal Virus Spreads to /. editors

[TCQuad]

FoxNews stole your idea without credit.

Exact transcript from Fox news at cut-in to an Italian news conference at 1:23PM (thank you, TiVo):

Unknown female voice: "Why can no one hear me? I'm screaming into the mic. Hello?"
Female translator: "The windows from which the Pope faces to address the crowds. OK, immeadiately we give the lines-"
Unknown female voice: "Hello, the Pope is dead. The Pope is dead. Someone-"
Female translator: "The news that is arriving."
Unknown female voice: "The Pope is dead."
Shepard Smith (Fox News host): "Well, it is certainly unfortunate that is the way that happened."

Ah, Fox. Better to be first than right.

Re:Fatal Virus Spreads to /. editors

[Jaseoldboss]

Spare a thought for those of us 'lucky' enough to get mod points to try and use up on these stories!

Goddamn

[Eric(b0mb)Dennis]

The whole page is all april fools day jokes.

I was reading slashdot and my dad just about flipped out when readying 2 of the stories, believing them!

IT was so hilarious to see him cursing out bush for cancelling the shuttle program

Re:Goddamn

[muuo]

When will this be over?
I would like to get back to real news that us nerds can use.

Re:Goddamn

[Frank T. Lofaro Jr.]

Where would you find that?

(even on other days of the year)

*yawn*

[op12]

This is getting ridiculous.

I DID NOT EXPECT THIS

[Jailbrekr]

Christ, if you are going to post an april fools joke, at least MAKE IT FUNNY. Y'know, zombie pope funny.

Re:I DID NOT EXPECT THIS

[rleibman]

Where are my mod points when I need them? Zombie Pope....hee, hee

Re:I DID NOT EXPECT THIS

[hesiod]

That is frickin hilarious!!!! :)

I wonder ...

[didjit]

if next we'll find that Windows XP is susceptible to the avian flu pandemic?

April Fools!

[sp3d2orbit]

Then again...

The things I worry about this hoax

[tekiegreg]

A) That this hoax will spread around and find it's way into my inbox daily for the next 10 years...*sigh* set Spam Filter: If messageText="Malwarlaria" then Bounce message.

B) Eventually some jerk will make a real (even if just computer) virus of that same name.

C'est la vie....

Re:The things I worry about this hoax

[someonewhois]

Yeah, except that the virus writers aren't the ones who actually name their virus...

Re:The things I worry about this hoax

[mrchaotica]

C'est la vie....

...in bed

You're in bed with your computer? So it's a sexually-transmitted computer virus, then?

Re:The things I worry about this hoax

[wackysootroom]

Well obviously you haven't learned the difference between a male and female IO Port yet have you?

Re:The things I worry about this hoax

[bcmm]

I'm sure the CDC mentioned this idea at some point, ages ago...

stupid

[kk49]

In Other News: slashdot can figure out that I have no message body, but can't figure out if a story is a dupe.

Really?

[MrAnnoyanceToYou]

Was it a virus involving spamming? Slashdot editors seem to have caught it somewhere in the last ten hours or so.

geez!

[theMerovingian]

Now I'm getting diseases from my internet girlfriend too!

(just kidding if you're reading this honey)

Re:geez!

[I_am_God_Here]

Now I'm getting diseases from my internet girlfriend too

With the iching and the burning? I've had that.

Oh NO!!

[reidleake]

I think I already got it.

Infectious

[fulldecent]

In Soviet Russia, users infect computers...


... wait, it's pretty much like that everywhere

Re:Infectious

[suso]

Maybe the virus was passed using one of those F*u/F*me devices that goes in a 5.25" drive bay. Anyone remember those?

Re:Infectious

[HalliS]

Oh my head! My aching head! aaahhrrgh...

DO YOU WANT TO BUY SOME V14GRA FOR ENLARGING YOUR PEN1Z?

Zombies

[maotx]

Infected users have been spotted mass-mailing commercial advertisements to residents and buisnesses alike to "enl4rg3 th3ir g1r7h and l3ng7h"
Some instances have been reported of the infected gathering in large numbers, known as Destroyers of Sells (DoS), at major corporations and retailers to block the the doors allowing noone in. Symptoms include slow performance, to much chatter (blondes excepted), and zombie like movements demanding the brains of a v14gra man.

Re:Zombies

[UrgleHoth]

If you are a eunuch, is this virus voluntary?

Ooooo, this is scary!

[mranchovy]

....and cannot possibly be yet another April Fool's gag. I'm covering my keyboard with plastic right now!



(not)

Zzz.....

[Seft]

I'm glad I'm not paying for this junk....

April, 1st

[FASTo]

wonderful !

Imagina a Beowulf cluster of these!

[behemot]

EOM

Worst. April Fool. Evar. nt

[spasticfraggle]

Seriously.

*sighs*

[Devalia]

I guess it's bad luck to do these after 12pm? Couldnt we have standardised on an earlier time zone cos they get rather annyoing after a while.. say 7 hours ago BST :(

Er?

[matthew.thompson]

Aren't these meant to stop at midday?

it's definitely AFTER 12 noon

[Herbster]

Come on now, everyone knows April Fool's jokes have to be done BEFORE 12 noon else it doesn't count!

wait...

this must be REAL! cos SURELY CmdrTaco wouldn't make a mistake like that above!!!!! *reaches for alcohol wipes*

;)

Re:it's definitely AFTER 12 noon

[JohnCC]

Exactly. Make an April fools joke past 12pm and the jokes on you!

April Fools

[drspliff]

Come on people.. hundereds of thousands of geeks read slashdot every day, and we can only come up with trash like this?

Anybody have suggestions

Re:April Fools

[redheaded_stepchild]

How about....

Slashdot interviewing outside firms to come up with creative content. Areas of website included will be Polls and April Fools Day stories.

God I wish this were true.

harf harf

[cyanics]

gotta love 4.1 humor.

narf.

It's after noon

[sapbasisnerd]

In much of the /. reading world and more importanly according to the /. system clock and I was always told that April Fool's pranks played after noon work in reverse, they make the teller the April Fool.

802.11

[NotoriousQ]

Phew. I was afraid that those 802.11 chips I had embedded into myself made me more susceptible to the virus. But seeing how it only spreads through the keyboard...... .....uh oh...... I knew I should have implanted a usb keyboard driver chip as well. Well I will go find a plastic bubble / faraday cage combo, and will sit there untill this thing blows over.

I will see you later.

Aha

[John Jorsett]

This would explain why I have a sudden urge to make unsolicited telephone sales calls.

April Fool's

[balster neb]

It's bad enough that Slashdot's front page is dominated by April fool's day jokes on this day of the year, but the least they can do is to try to put GOOD ones. Ones that actually make you laugh, for instance.

Enough is enough

[IamLarryboy]

Taco! Can we PLEASE abandon this horrid practice of nothing but bullshit all day on April fools. IT JUST ISN'T FUNNY ANYMORE! But I am sure all this hate won't help. Just fix you fscking site! please.

Is it fatal?

[93,000]

That would at least spare me the rest of the day reading this bunk.

Lame

[Compulawyer]

Lame Lame Lame Lame Lame. This is the WORST attempt at humor I've seen in a LONG time.

Announcement from the White House

[AtariAmarok]

President George W. Bush: "In response to this human catastrophe, I am calling Kuala Lampur right now to recall the ambassador to Malwarlaria."

Re:Announcement from the White House

[WillAffleckUW]

President George W. Bush: "In response to this human catastrophe, I am calling Kuala Lampur right now to recall the ambassador to Malwarlaria."

Sadly, that doesn't just work on April 1st. It works any day.

I rolled a natural one...

[fat man with a monke]

... and I could still tell this was a shitty joke.

pebcak

[icebrrrg]

It spreads through contact with keyboards on infected PCs

that's not all that spreads through keyboards. apparently, there's a little-known (but rampant!) problem circulating throughout the workaday world. the only ones who know the true scope of this ever-growing malaise are IT support staff. what is it? the official name pebcak, in l33tsp33k referred to as id10-t.

I nearly believed it!

[nigham]

Its already the 2nd in Asia. Then, I figured.

Even Better Joke

[Anonymous Coward]

Wouldn't a true Slashdot April Fools Joke be one where all the articles throughout the day WEREN'T fake?

Thank you!

[lorcha]

Thank you for reminding me why I hate reading slashdot on April 1.

See ya tomorrow!

In other news...

[handmedowns]

NY Times is no longer requiring registration... ..

Funniest april fool...

[EpsCylonB]

Apparently there was a bmw ad in a british newspaper advertising "the worlds first hands free steering wheel due to a EU ban on right hand drive cars".

Also on bbc radio 2 they pretended that a memorial to the queen mum was going to be lump of granite placed in pall mall. Lots of of people got quite upset about it, funny really.

Indeed Cmdr!

[Robotron23]

In Korea, only old people catch Malwarlaria.B. :)

Most boring day on slashdot

[Anonymous Coward]

Today was the most boring day on slashdot, with stories that 10 year olds would not believe. And we are supposed to call them april fool's jokes?

I hope...

[Tribbin]

I hope I get the Kournikova virus!!!

I couldn't have said it better myself.

[cbreaker]

The last few years I've looked forward to trying to guess which Slashdot story was the fake one on April 1st. I think Last Years was pretty good, but I don't really remember.

But when you try to do it over and over like this it's really stupid and takes away all the fun of it.

Re:I couldn't have said it better myself.

[locr1an]

Perhaps the joke this year is that one of these stories is actually legit? God knows it's probably the Paris Hilton one ...

Re:I couldn't have said it better myself.

[cbreaker]

Hehe yea, I was actually thinking that. But then I realized that the Slashdot "editors" just aren't that savvy.

Slashdotters are lame

[mollog]

The people who insist on pointing out the obvious fact that these 'news articles' are in fact, gags, are lame. Not only are they humor impaired, they lack the wit to form a thoughtful criticizism of the gags. Please note that there is a difference between being discerning and being critical. Many don't get that disctinction and think themselves clever when they are able to find fault. It's too bad so many of us can't attempt even a minimal retort in the spirit that the slashdot admins are showing. Come on people, are we so weak minded we can't even think up a clever response to this stuff?

Re:Slashdotters are lame

[MyLongNickName]

"You suck looser!"

It wasn't funny...

[pistaugh]

...here either:

http://www.betterhumans.com/News/news.aspx?article ID=2003-04-01-1

Way too much april fools crap...

[Anonymous Coward]

It's time to vaporize all this nonsense: I'm tired of being yanked around by every previously-credible site I visit daily. Put a duck in the header and knock it off.

Easy solution to this virus

[WillAffleckUW]

Unplug your keyboard.

Unplug your telephone.

Pull out the battery to your cell phone.

Pull out the battery to your beeper.

Take a deep cleansing breath and think about fluffy bunnies in a verdant field of flowers.

Say "I wish it was April" five times while walking widdershins around your Hybrid Car.

And you're cured!

Re:Easy solution to this virus

[ilsa]

April Fools Day is also curable with sufficient b33r.

(Drink until loss of consciousness, hope this doesn't happen.)

Re:Easy solution to this virus

[WillAffleck]

April Fools Day is also curable with sufficient b33r.

Nope, it has to be cider. Hard apple cider. The good stuff.

Unless it's fr33 bh33r.

Probably caught it from...

[otis wildflower]

... one of these...

Please, you are boring us

[ip_freely_2000]

You just don't put the care into your schemes like you used to

Here's how it works

[exp(pi*sqrt(163))]

On April Fool's Day the idea is that you tell people stuff that isn't true so that they are fooled into believing it and we get to laugh at them. The important thing is that they need to be fooled into believing it. Just saying stuff that isn't true kinda misses the point. Admittedly it makes the speaker of the untrue stuff seem like a fool but April Fool's Day is more about make other people seem like fools than being a fool yourself. You're allowed to do the latter any day of the year. Make sense?

If you lack the skill to fool other people another alternative is to say stuff that's untrue but funny. I've always felt this was a poor substitute for playing a joke on someone else but it is generally considered an acceptable form of April Fool's Day behavior.

Anyway, now you're ready and armed to properly enjoy this special day that's granted to us but once a year.

Re:Here's how it works

[raddan]

On April Fool's Day the idea is that you tell people stuff that isn't true so that they are fooled into believing it and we get to laugh at them.

Here's the way it's always worked for me... My mom calls me at some dreadfully early hour, when my brain is barely grasping at consciousness, and says "Happy Birthday!". She's so clever.

It works especially well on me because my birthday is actually a few days from now, so it sounds about right, and I get all excited, and... oh... damn you, Mom! Next year I drink a bunch of Google Gulp and we'll see who's fooled then!!!

I hear it's a STD

[Eric Damron]

You geeks make me sick!

Re:I hear it's a STD

[SmokeHalo]

STD = Software Transmitted Disease?

This just in

[davmoo]

Slashdot is, as usual, obviously the *last* place I should be looking for tech news today. Guess I don't need to bother with Slashdot, or most other FOSS news sites, until Saturday.

One joke story, even two, would be funny. Any more is useless, and Slashdot takes it to the point of being pathetic.

The interesting thing is how "real" tech news sites like news.com don't resort to that crap. They simply do what they do every day...report the tech news. Its too bad Slashdot can't be as mature and intelligent.

Re:This just in

[BlakeCaldwell]

ya, this is 14/\/\3

Re:This just in

[SmokeHalo]

The interesting thing is how "real" tech news sites like news.com don't resort to that crap.

Actually, they have been. They simply let it be known that the articles are, in fact, gags. Sure, they have real news too, but of course their reporters are paid to report real news because it's their job. Last I heard, /. didn't have any reimbursement system for voluntary story submissions.

It's Friday, it's April Fool's Day, and there appear to be a hell of a lot of us having some fun. So let's all just go with the flow. Everybody mambo!

Re:This just in

[davmoo]

I'm not trying to be King Asshole, and to a point would even agree with you. The problem I have is when Slashdot goes overboard. Instead of being able to glance at the site and see if anything "important" has happened, I have to sit and read closely to sort out the one or two possibly real stories from the 574 joke ones.

Over the years I have come to depend on Slashdot as one of my major sources of "stuff that matters". When I get up in the morning, and at various times of the day, when I sit down at my machine I first look at email, then I look at Slashdot. And it bothers me when the one day of the year they can't be depended on for anything but fertilizer falls on a business day when plenty of "real" news happens.

April Fool's would be funnier if...

[Ced_Ex]

They totally catch everyone unaware by posting the article on July 17th.

Who would expect it then?

It's about the same as usual

[StCredZero]

Posting this as a "good" April Fool's joke is just about the same as posting a "serious" story about a nanotech-based sticker that will improve your cell phone battery.

And yes, I'll agree. This doesn't even get up to the PHB level! Slashdot needs science editors with a clue!

Note to self.

[TractorBarry]

1 Don't bother looking at Slashdot on April 1st again - EVER.

2 Probably best to skip April 2nd too (that's when the dupes will appear)

Honestly one well written, slightly believable, story would have been great (maybe two at a push) but today Slashdot smelled worse than a dead Tramps feet dipped in dogshit.

Stuff like this makes baby Jebus cry...

Re:Note to self.

[Ranger]

Yes, this is the LAMEST April Fool's story I've ever seen.

3. Go see A Flock of Beavers in public and not get arrested for staring.

A1 joke

[lcam]

Read http://gentooexperimental.org/nt I give it a 9/10 rating. I believed for the 5 minutes I was thinking about how dumb the idea was.

Same crap different year

[dbfruth]

Aril 1st is the one day that I don't bother reading Slashdot. It's the same crap every year. If a fake story was thrown in among a bunch of real stories it might be different. But my god talk about over doing it.

I thought noon was the cutoff point for jokes?

[crivens]

I thought noon was the cutoff point for jokes?

Umm

[temojen]

Wasn't this a movie plot about that time?

what type of gloves are recommended ?

[cinnamon colbert]

We currently double glove, with nitrile over latex, but I hear that gloves made from diamond coated (CVD, chemical vapor deposistion) BeO (berylium oxide) reinforced PEEK (polyetheretherketone) work really well.

Lame....

[Master of Transhuman]

Very lame...

Now, the Corrboard put up a notice saying it was closing down because the Webmaster no longer liked the Corrs music. He added a link to his "new" Website.

Figuring his site had been hacked, or the domain hijacked, I naturally did NOT click the link, as I didn't want to get infected with something on my lame Windows side of the machine.

So I emailed someone else to find out when the board would be back up, since I knew the message was nonsense.

Turns out it was an April Fool's joke the site owner has done for the last four years.

I felt like Andrea Corr when she forgets which song is next in the set list at a concert (which happens a lot to her!) - I forgot it was April 1st!

In comparison, the /. story is just...lame, lame...

You need....

[mikael]

... the Random slashdot story generator

Re:You need....

[Flinx_ca]

These are better/funnier than the stories being posted today!

Re:You need....

[number]

these are great!

"Federal Judge John Carmack has ordered the break up of Novell after ruling they are a monopoly. The decision calls for Novell to be broken up into two parts: one to concentrate on manufacturing Tivos the other on OpenBSD development. Competitors such as Boeing and open source projects like vi shuold be very pleased with the decision."

"Monkey points us to an article over at The Register that has some pretty wicked quotes from Pope John Paul II about AltaVista. He thinks that AltaVista should focus less on profits and more on decapitating zombies. Pope John Paul II says "Instead of pouring money into the black hole of developing flying cars, they should focus on decapitating zombies and the profits will come their way." There are many more interesting tidbits in the article, but I'll let you discover and discuss them."

Re:You need....

[mikael]

My favourites (at the moment, as there is always something new...)

Microsoft Stopping Development On Windows Media Player
Posted by brian on Sat April 02, 11:11 AM
from the have fun hitting reload page dept.
Jefro101 writes "According to a story on CNET Microsoft announced today that they are stopping development on Windows Media Player. I know most Slashdotters hate MS, but Windows Media Player is used by a lot of Linux gurus who'll have to search for an alternative. Might be a good oportunity for developers of KOffice to step in and fill the void."



Time Travel Being Used In The Playstation 3
Posted by brian on Sat April 02, 11:12 AM
from the have fun hitting reload page dept.
Definitely a must have. The new Playstation 3 will be using technology gleaned from research on time travel. This should put the Playstation 3 at the top of the heap, and have their competitors scrambling to catch up. It's sure to be the hot new gizmo for all the mobile business executives who need help with starting World War III.

Overkill

[Eminence]

On April Fool's Day media run one or two fake stories. As I see all stories on today's /. seem to be fakes. To make it worse, the last one is so obvious it hurts. Come on guys, world doesn't halt for this day - there are even some places where this custom isn't know! There must be some real, relevant news out there!

I'm tired already of the 04-01-05.

It's a human virus, remember

[AtariAmarok]

"A) That this hoax will spread around and find it's way into my inbox daily for the next 10 years

If it an STD, then your email inbox should not be the inbox you are protecting.

Inappropriate

[RapmasterT]

I like jokes as much, probably more, than most people. Usually, in as much poor taste as possible.

However, where I draw the line is when journalistic, or supposedly credible information resources resort to disseminating false information under the guise of "good fun"

It's especially bad in magazines where you might be reading the April 1 issue a month or more before the actual date. PC Magazine was somewhat notorious for this, and eventually I found myself wondering if some articles were real or just BS.

Is that REALLY the position a tech resource wants it's readers to be in?

Leave the jokes and tricks to friends, coworkers, and email, keep it away from anyplace you expect to be taken seriously.

Hah! I already have protection.

[whitetiger0990]

I never touch anything without my spray-on "second skin". People were just calling me paranoid but NO! I have them now.

The Cure .....

[mnemonic_network]

Maybe this will "cure" the spamer problem....

Yeah, but...

[CjKing2k]

Does it run on Linux?

Solution

[HalliS]

Just block the evil bit... *hides*

Re:OT: Lookup by id (your sig)

[MyLongNickName]

Thanks! Sorry. I did not realize I had comments off.

I thought it was called "Windows"???

[northwind]

"Early signs of infection include rising stress, rapidly fading eyesight and the appearance of a blue-screen on PC monitors."

Is this a weapon of mass infection???

[northwind]

Man - that was a lame one.......... :-)

tee hee

[nachoqtpie]

So if we got STDs floatin around today, who has the computer condoms?

Ouch!

[Rorschach1]

Ok, so it's probably not going to make you sick... but I DID bite my tongue trying to pronounce that name.

But computer viruses always infect people

[lunchman]

The "Teddy Bear Virus" http://us.mcafee.com/virusInfo/default.asp?id=desc ription&virus_k=99436 already spread by infecting the computer operator and causing him to e-mail everyone in his address book.

OMG!!!

[Patrick Mannion]

I HAVE TEH VIRUS!!! aGH,,, loosing breath.... can't breatheeeee....nghhdfhnnn....brains..... +++ATH NO CARRIER

Subtle April 1st jokes

[Ulric]

I agree, the jokes should be subtle enough to fool at least one person. I like to read something, think long and hard about it, and still not be able to figure out if it's true or not. Like these ones:

http://gentooexperimental.org/nt/

http://lists.kde.org/?l=kde-cvs&m=111233809718017& w=2

Real or fake? I don't know. On the other hand, "First PC Virus Spreads to Humans" is so bad that there is no real reason to click the link except that every story on /. is a "joke" today.

Oh yeah?

[Manhigh]

1992 called, and wants its joke back.

Well the jerk store called...and they're running out of you!

-obligatory Seinfeld reference

Re:Dandruff causes global warming (April Fools?)

[Lovesquid]

This was on CNN also. Probably true.

Thanks for the heads-up....

[cbdavis]

I have already started disinfecting all my keyboards. And, just to make sure, I am sand-blasting my monitor screens to cleanse any viral entities that are there. I always use rubber gloves when using my computer, and I wear an air mask to remove any foreign bodies. I feel much safer now!

That's okay...

[b1t r0t]

I'm a Mac.

Hey now

[rm999]

This was practically the plot of independence day

I'm immune thanks to my dear keyboard.

[mfarah]

My good old IBM Model M keyboard is naturally immune to this new virus, so I don't care about it.

Back in the day, IBM provided us with the best keyboard ever, and I couldn't be happier.

I love my keyboard.

Re:I'm immune thanks to my dear keyboard.

[http101]

Ah, but be careful with that... there are a few generic Lexmark keyboards posing as IBM Model Ms out there. The Lexmarks are not immune to the virus!

April Fools Icon

[BryanL]

Enough already! We need an April Fools icon so that I can weed out the bogus stories.

Re:April Fools Icon

[eric_brissette]

Not if they're ALL bogus

Re:April Fools Icon

[BryanL]

All too true.

It's gotta be said..

[dBLiSS]

Symantics new Plan!

1. Make Human-Computer Anti-Virus
2. ??????
3. Profit

Snow Crash

[NekSnappa]

I can't believe this stroy has been up this long with out a reference to "Snow Crash" Guess I fixed that!

Re:Snow Crash

[Pseudonym]

Damn, beat me to it. Guess it's up to me to mention Hitler, then.

I actually got a cold from my pc

[beuges]

Seriously. My pc used to overheat, because of an incompatible cpu/motherboard combination (i think it was a p3 chip in a p2 board or the other way around). So my pc case was always open, with my desk-fan blowing directly onto the board and chip. Because of the setup of my room/desk/fan/pc, the pc had to face away from me, so the ports faced me. My friend lent me a bus-fan one day to see if that would work, as opposed to having to leave the case open all the time with a large deskfan blowing on it all the time. Well, since the ports-side of the pc faced me, that meant that the exhaust of the bus-fan was blowing onto my face constantly for a couple of hours. Add a weak immune system on my part, and...

my pc gave me a cold!

1???

[dword]

fuck! i forgot what date it was ... :(
damn story!

Where is Hiro Protagonist when you need him?

[FiggyBottom]

L. Bob Rife is at it again. This is only the precurser to another, more dangerous virus. Bring on the infopocalypse!

Snowcrash

[LaughingLinuxMan]

For more on this topic read Snowcrash by Neal Stephenson...

LLM

God no!

[Impy the Impiuos Imp]

I've seen Internet malware that causes me to release seminal fluid, but this really scares me!

A day late

[Trejkaz]

April 1 called, and it wants its prank back.