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Monkeys Don't Like Macs

Posted by CmdrTaco on from the but-they-fling-a-helluva-poo dept.

sebFlyte writes "silicon.com is reporting on a new twist on some oft-done probability research, into the suggestion that an infinite number of monkeys will eventually produce a perfect script for Hamlet , given typewriters (or indeed keyboards) and enough time. The researchers claims that the monkeys used in their test preferred using systems running Windows XP to those running Mac OS X. Which begs the question -- do only monkeys use Windows, or can even monkeys tell Macs aren't worth bothering with?"

45 of 78 comments (clear)

  1. Neither, really by SparksMcGee · · Score: 2, Funny

    It's just that the monkeys couldn't get the hang of the one-buttoned mouse.

    1. Re:Neither, really by _Sharp'r_ · · Score: 1

      They should have tried Golden Delicious Apples, instead of Macintosh Apples.

      In blind taste tests, monkeys prefer eating Golden Delicious Apples over getting their head smashed through windows 97-3.

      --
      The party of stupid and the party of evil get together and do something both stupid and evil, then call it bipartisan.
    2. Re:Neither, really by Infinityis · · Score: 1

      According to Scott Adams, they'd actually be ok with a one-buttoned mouse, since they only use their tail to operate it. Thus, proving further their natural evolutionary advantage.

  2. Subscription by datafr0g · · Score: 4, Funny

    The next Slashdot story will be ready soon, but subscribers can beat the rush and see it early! God I wish I had one today, I can't wait for the next story.

    --
    "Who says nothing is impossible? Some people do it every day!" - Alfred E. Neuman
    1. Re:Subscription by mranchovy · · Score: 1

      Here they are, a few more Apple stories:

      Apple introduces zero-button mouse

      Apple buys Microsoft, next version of Mac OS to be based on Longhorn

      Apple introduces $99 iMac Shuffle--all the power of a Mac in a package the size of a stick of gum

      Steve Jobs named CEO of Sony, Disney, AOL Time Warner, Viacom, and Dairy Queen

      --
      I am so smart!
      I am so smart!
      S-M-R-T!
      I mean S-M-A-R-T!
  3. Monkeys by the_sidewinder · · Score: 5, Funny

    An infinite amount of monkeys could also come up with the mess that is windows source code

    --
    /. is not to be used by individuals with high blood pressure or a history of heart attacks
    1. Re:Monkeys by The-Bus · · Score: 1

      I'm sure Microsoft only employs a couple dozen thousand coders, not more.

      --

      Small potatoes make the steak look bigger.

    2. Re:Monkeys by SamSim · · Score: 1

      They DID.

      --
      qntm.org
  4. wow... by buchan · · Score: 1

    /me deletes slashdot bookmark

  5. Fools day by Stelminator · · Score: 1

    are we done yet?

  6. enough already by stryck9 · · Score: 1

    We get it, you are funny...

  7. tired, real news please by teetuck · · Score: 4, Informative

    I wait for a nice Apple anouncement all day and suddenly /. has 30 fake articles an hour?! End the madness!

  8. No Matter! by darth_MALL · · Score: 2, Funny

    as long as Monkees still like Micks

  9. Nice real nice by Laurance · · Score: 1

    Well moneys to like bugs. So i makes sense that the PC is for them

    1. Re:Nice real nice by Laurance · · Score: 1

      It*

  10. bleh by Xaggroth · · Score: 1

    huh.. but we are related to the monkey that means people hate.. snif..macs!

  11. Ooooooo by _PimpDaddy7_ · · Score: 1

    Oooooo, eeeeee, oooooo, eeeeee
    Banana!
    Oooooo, eeeeee, oooooo, eeeeee
    No, Apple!
    Oooooo, eeeeee, oooooo, eeeeee

  12. Fallacy! by The-Bus · · Score: 5, Insightful

    It doesn't BEG the question, it RAISES the question.

    No, really.

    --

    Small potatoes make the steak look bigger.

  13. I'm a monkey by HawkingMattress · · Score: 1

    you insensitive clod !

    1. Re:I'm a monkey by maglor_83 · · Score: 3, Funny

      So what OS are you running?

  14. Trolling the Mac users on April 1... by Cyclometh · · Score: 1

    Good times, good times.

  15. But even monkeys can learn.... by AtariAmarok · · Score: 1

    With a million monkeys and a million Macs, eventually one of them will produce the works of Shakespeare. Also likely, one of them will produce "Windows ME" long before this, however.

    --
    Don't blame Durga. I voted for Centauri.
  16. Re:How'd they get their Macs? by monolith25 · · Score: 2, Insightful

    This is the least stealthy attempt to get referrals that I think I've ever seen.

    --


    "I'd give my right arm to be in Def Leppard."
    -- Andy Partridge

  17. Hacked by Jumbo+Jimbo · · Score: 1

    Well, is this an owning of Slashdot to coincide with April 1st?

  18. Everything's bigger in Texas by Tackhead · · Score: 4, Funny
    > an infinite number of monkeys will eventually produce a perfect script for Hamlet , given typewriters (or indeed keyboards) and enough time

    Don't know about monkeys, but an infinite number of Texans with an infinite number of shotguns, and a long enough stretch of Interstate highway, will produce a perfect script for Hamlet, albeit in Braille.

    1. Re:Everything's bigger in Texas by Infinityis · · Score: 1

      Forturnately, because supposedly you'll shoot your eye out with all those guns around, we'll need plenty of braille to go around...

  19. In a related story by krgallagher · · Score: 4, Interesting
    "Which begs the question -- do only monkeys use windows, or can even monkeys tell macs aren't worth bothering with?""

    March to end "Beg The Question" abuse

    But seriously isn't this FlameBait?

    --

    Insert Generic Sig Here:

  20. April 2nd can't come soon enough. by hedley · · Score: 1

    Bliss for another 364 days. Then the onslaught of cleverness starts over again.

    One word, one syllable: Weak

    H.

  21. Monkey theory proved false... by burnsy · · Score: 1

    Robert Wilensky joked that...

    "We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true."

    1. Re:Monkey theory proved false... by Scott7477 · · Score: 1

      What do you mean? The entire works of Shakespeare have been reproduced on the internet. It's rather mean of you to refer to those nice Project Gutenberg people as monkeys.

      --
      "Lack of technical competence coupled with the arrogance of power, as usual, leads to no good end."
  22. Monkeys and apples. by Rahga · · Score: 4, Funny

    A man brought his money into a bar... after a few drinks, the monkey hopped up onto the bar, swallowed an apple whole, smashed a pool cue, then popped up on the pool table and devoured a cue ball. Embarrassed by that behavior, the man grabbed the money and escaped the bar.

    2 weeks later, the monkey acompanied the man to the bar again. Subdued, it hopped on to the bar, grabbed a cherry, stuffed it into his rear, pulled it out, and ate it. The bartender, disgusted, asked the man why on earth he's bringing that monkey in... Why, after making a wreck last time and showing peculiar eating habbits today?

    "Well", says the man, "he's learned a lot since eating that cue ball. For instance, he checks the size of anything he eats."

  23. Re:How'd they get their Macs? by calibanDNS · · Score: 1

    I'm making no attempt to be stealthy. My theory is that if the editors get to spam us all day, then we should all get to spam too. So, if I'm going to spam I'd at least like to get a free Mac mini out of it. It really works too. I've gotten an iPod and iPod Shuffle from these pyramid schemes with very little effort on my part. Go on, click the link. You know you want to.

  24. Enough Already! by jack's+wasted+liver · · Score: 3, Funny

    Whatever happened to the Stuff that matters part of the /. tagline?

    I think we have enough April Fools jokes to last us the year.

  25. Of course Monley's don't like Macs by peragrin · · Score: 1

    Mac's are for the intelligent population, Monkey's are well below average.

    let those below average intelligent people use Windows. The rest of us know what a real OS can do for us, instead of to us.

    --
    i thought once I was found, but it was only a dream.
  26. President Bush's Preference by krunk4ever · · Score: 2, Funny

    Guess we know know which one Bush prefers.

    --
    HD Trailers
  27. Already disproven by arturov · · Score: 1
    ...the suggestion that an infinite number of monkeys will eventually produce a perfect script for Hamlet , given typewriters (or indeed keyboards) and enough time.

    I think the internet has helped to disprove this assertion.

  28. April Fool by northcat · · Score: 1

    Maybe a huge pile of April Fool stories on slashdot is the April fool joke this time. Or maybe all the monkies have been hired by slashdot.

  29. Re:"Posted by CmdrTaco on 05-04-02 1:15" by VoidWraith · · Score: 1

    http://slashdot.org/faq/editorial.shtml#ed850

  30. Misuse of "Begging the question" by NaruVonWilkins · · Score: 1

    Begging the question refers to using the result of a proof as a given or assumption. It has nothing to do with raising a question, it's a type of circular logical fallacy. Google definition

    1. Re:Misuse of "Begging the question" by tuxedobob · · Score: 1

      I bet you also correct people who use Xerox as a verb or Kleenex to mean tissue.

      Use dictates meaning, not vice versa.

      God, I hate atheists...

    2. Re:Misuse of "Begging the question" by NaruVonWilkins · · Score: 1

      No, that one's just wrong. There's plenty of correct usage out there, and this isn't an example of it.

  31. Maybe this just proves by SeaFox · · Score: 1

    that most consumers are as smart as primates.

  32. What about evolution??? by WaR.KiN · · Score: 1

    Monkeys with infinite time, each and every one will eventually evolve into something smarter than Shakespeare and write their own Hamlet.

  33. I live in Texas by AvatarofVirgo · · Score: 1

    and that's still funny. LOL!

  34. Evolution, my dear Watson by catdevnull · · Score: 1

    Of course, our simian siblings don't like Macs--they haven't yet evolved.

    --

    I might know what I'm talkin' about, but then again, this is Slashdot...