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Hitchhiker's Movie is Bad, says Adams Biographer
Rollerbob writes "MJ Simpson, who has 'been studying and documenting the life and career of Douglas Adams for more than 20 years', has written a very in-depth review and plot analysis of the Hitchhiker's movie. As well as the full review that contains SPOILERS , he has also published a shortened spoiler-free version, as well as a list of things from the radio plays, records, books and TV series that have not been included in the movie. Hitchhiker's fans, prepare to be like Marvin ... very depressed."
Sorry, but I guess I liked the Hitchhiker's series enough that I'll go see it anyway. Hell, I sat through the new Star Wars series thus far, and that was punishment enough.
As long as there's no JarJar, I guess I won't leave too pissed.
The movie is not 100% accurate? Oh, you mean just like the Guide?
cpghost at Cordula's Web.
sounds like good old marvin ;)
The write up understates it, I think. From TFA:
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy movie is bad. Really bad. You just won't believe how vastly, staggeringly, jaw-droppingly bad it is. I mean, you might think that The Phantom Menace was a hopelessly misguided attempt to reinvent a much-loved franchise by people who, though well-intentioned, completely failed to understand what made the original popular - but that's just peanuts to the Hitchhiker's movie.
To make laws that man cannot, and will not obey, serves to bring all law into contempt.
--E.C. Stanton
I know, one of the things I've always found hardest to understand about Movie Reviewers was their habit of continuously stating and repeating the very very obvious, as in "It's a comedy", or "It's a very long movie", or "Oh dear they've adapted this movie from a book and made it really really bad".
I stole this Sig
playing the Infocom game was a little unrealistic
Since when would you expect any incarnation of Hitchhiker's to be realistic?
Guy asked me for a quarter for a cup of coffee. So I bit him.
Like that underappreciated great "Batman & Robin"...still brings a tear to my eye.
If this movie is as bad as the review states... It will have a long life in the theaters ;-)
(But, don't you think, Marvin should look like Bender?)
Captain Obvious arrives! You are a little late this morning. Did the Obviousmobile break down or something?
Don't blame Durga. I voted for Centauri.
I've heard that this movie is so bad that the audience is urged to view it from the safe distance of thirty-seven miles from the screen in a well-built lightproof bunker, only after their eyes are gouged out. The director is now rumored to be serving eternity dead for "he really pissed off some geeks" reasons.
Don't blame Durga. I voted for Centauri.
Now, we're all going to have to go see it just to se if it really is that bad.
Sometimes boldness is in fashion. Sometimes only the brave will be bold.
"So we've got a movie. A piece of shit movie.That Douglas Adams lost is life over."
Yes, that's right. The move killed Douglas Adams. Nothing else. It was just that damn movie. Now go back to sleep.
I can take some random crap, but that's a bit too far.
From the list of things that aren't in the film:
* The Guide entry on towels
Those bastards forgot their towel!
Thanks. Now I know why "Police Academy" was such a dismal flop, and no sequels were made.
Don't blame Durga. I voted for Centauri.
This sentence does not parse.
First, let's put that dependent clause where it belongs.
I personally feel, with no intention to troll, that this is what happens when you let an American write English humour.
Second, there is no coherent relationship between "I personally feel" and "with no intention to troll". What does "without intention to troll" actually mean? Perhaps you meant "without intention of trolling" or "without intending to troll"? I'll choose the latter. That resolved, what does it mean to feel, personally or otherwise, without intending to troll? Perhaps you meant, "I opine, without intending to troll". Now it is clear that you are publicly offering your opinion without intending to troll rather than thinking to yourself without intending to troll.
I opine, without intending to troll, that this is what happens when you let an American write English humour.
Brilliant!
I opine that this is what happens when you let an Englishman write English.
Kindest regards, an American.
So we've got a movie. A piece of shit movie.That Douglas Adams lost his life over.
I know he died a few years back, but I didn't know that was his cause of death.
If bad movies could kill, then the premier of Phantom Menace would have looked like Jonestown, post-Kool Aid.
Where does the school board find them and why do they keep sending them to ME?
The Guide is ALWAYS perfectly accurate. Reality might get things wrong sometimes. :)
If you've read the book, you already know the story, so how can the movie be spoiled? Of course I'm sure there are many people that went to see The Passion of the Christ and said, "Don't tell me how it ends!"
"This is a terrible, terrible film and it makes me want to weep."
Ouch.
LOTR wasn't Hollywood. Sure, Hollywood did the distro and their names are thus on it, but Peter Jackson was on the other side of the world, using local work as much as possible, and it shows. I don't think you can credit Hollywood, rather, it shows what can be done if they give money to good people, but don't demand to "Hollywood up" the resulting picture.
Having seen the Trilogy, it can be quite difficult to remember how bad it could have been; this HHGTTG movie review should serve as a reminder.
"We don't get this whole 'elf' thing; shouldn't they be singing, dancing, and drunk the whole movie?"
"Gandalf is a wizard, why doesn't he cast more spells? Oh, wouldn't it be cool if he took over the mind of the orc chieftan and made him slay his companions? And maybe he can teleport people, but only elves or something, or they get turned inside out. And..."
"OK, get this... what if when the hobbits are fleeing from the Black Rider, we make it a car chase? We could get sponserships from Ford and Chevy! Awe$ome!"
"People aren't going to understand this 'Ring' thing. Can we just do away with the Ring entirely? We'll turn the quest into one to stab the Eye of Sauron with a sharp, pointy stick. Uh, of magic."
"Shouldn't the orcs have a Jamaican accent and be sort of bumbling? Lots of slapstick there..."
"What if we get Samuel Jackson to play Frodo?"
(OK, that last one is kind of interesting, though probably not in a way that would make a good movie... get your hands off my ring, motherfucker!!!!)
This sentence does not parse.
Yes, it does. The sentence before it didn't parse, though. I think you meant "that". Try to be correct when correcting people.
God, now they're going to rape "The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe". I can hear the "high concept" on this one: "Harry Potter meets that Hobbit movie, with Talking Animals! We've "sexed up" the magic and the fighting!"
"Flyin' in just a sweet place,
Never been known to fail..."
According to the review, what you mean by "finished off" is "taken out behind the woodshed and shot, several times, in the face."
"The government of the United States is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian religion."
"I thought the BBC-TV series was actually pretty good, but apparently I'm the only one that thinks so"
I also really enjoyed the BBC series. Of course, this from someone who also loved "Logans Run" and "Battle Beyond the Stars".
DRM 'manages access' in the same way that a prison 'manages freedom'
Only on slashdot, can a nerd make a post about Lord of the Rings, in a thread about The Guide, and not get marked off-topic for an anti-lucas rant.
Send lawyers, guns, and money!
God, now they're going to rape "The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe".
Raping a witch is evil (she might be a witch but she's still a person); raping a lion is perverse (even- or especially- one that talks and is a metaphor for the Christian deity).
But as for raping a wardrobe, I'm not sure I can visualise that at all. You have some damn strange fetishes.
Slashdotters are weird.
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