Slashdot Mirror
Microsoft's 911 Patent
The register is reporting "'Microsoft was today granted a patent for accessing data used by the emergency services.' They quote from the application 'In sum, what is needed is a way to provide users with access to needed emergency information. This should be simple from the user's perspective, so that even very emotional users can find what is needed in a straightforward, yet comprehensive process.' Apparently the patent was filed one month after 9/11."
Microsoft, for all your counter-terrorism needs.
Just another harmless drunk
In post 9/11 world Linux is just no good.
"911 Operator. What is the nature of the emergency?"
"HELP! There's a criminal trying to break into my house!"
"We will have someone there right away, Ma'am. Just tell me your name, your address, and your patent use approval identification number."
"This is Mary Smith of 123 Maple Drive, and what?-- patent thingamabob?"
"Your patent use approval identification number, the proof that you can properly use this protected 911 service."
"He's got a gun! Hurry!"
"Ma'am, I'm sorry, but this seems to be a patent violation. Our enforcement officers will be out there immediately to collect payment plus penalty."
Caller: "Help, my house is on fire!"
911: "You appear to be making an emergency call. Would you like me to set up a template?"
Caller: "A what? Help me!"
911: "Accessing help..."
911: "..."
911: "Socket timed out, retrying..."
Caller: "Augh!"
911: "Welcome to the 911 help system. Please say your search terms now."
Caller: "....... FIRE!"
911: "Searching..."
911: "FIRE up your browsing experience with the new MSN Search, your comprehensive portal to the web!"
Caller: "Augh!"
"... I can get the fire service to you by, erm, next Thursday afternoon?"
Gentoo Linux - another day, another USE flag.
Where do you want to go today ?
[ ] Hospital
[ ] Police Station
[ ] E.R.
[ ] Fire Station
Blue Screen of Death... _literally_.
Get thee glass eyes, and, like a scurvy politician, seem to see things thou dost not.--King Lear
I see from the diagrams from TFA, that one of the predefined emergancies is financial.
Now I agree that there are financial emergancies, but most do not require a first responder.
Unless maybe the program is sponsored by CapitalOne.
"We need a loan officer here STAT!"
The mind boggles.
On the whole, I find that I prefer Slashdot posts to twitter ones because I don't get limited to 140 chars before
"Hey there, partner...it looks like you're trying to call 911!"
Does your emergency involve:
A car accident
Chest pains
A guy with an axe
None of these - search Microsoft
____
~ |rip/\/\aster /\/\onkey
Operator: 911...What is your emergency?
Caller: My wife is having a heart attack! Please send someone!!
Operator: It seems you are using 911 for the first time. Would you like some help?
Caller: YES!! Send someone NOW!!
Operator: In order to complete this call, you will have to restart your phone. Please hang up and call again.
Caller: WHAT??!!
Operator: Your phone is now restarting...(click!)
GET FREE APPLE STUFF!
20 minutes... 25 minutes... 23 minutes... 14 minutes... 2 minutes... 40 minutes...
Really! Armstrong could have been made a millionare by patenting "Walking on the Moon". And Suing Buzz Aldwin.
Everyone in the queue for "Walking on Mars" Patents. And they are discovering new planets every {day|week|month}. Get yours today!!!!
Maybe I should make a template patent and sell that!! All that's left is to say -
3. Profit!
Comment removed based on user account deletion
Well that's why you sit down with your dogs and educate them about the 911 system...
After 3 days without programming, life becomes meaningless
- The Tao of Programming
How about a button with "Don't Panic" written in large, friendly letters on it?
49. Less than 49 people = good, more = bad. Exactly 49, though, that depends on whether or not they're open-sourcing the product.
with the MS activation number printed on the phone box when you bought it
don't change your phone hardware or you will have to call india and get permission to use your property first
... when you watch too much Fox News?
The REAL jabber has the user id: 13196
What you do today will cost you a day of your life
The article is utterly without merit.
That's okay. So is the patent.
Microsoft is to software what Budweiser is to beer.
>> Do you really want your children being able
>> to call the emergency services easily?
No, I'd much prefer to die if my child is the only one around.
No, 42's the meaning of life, the universe, and everything - not the point at which a company turns from good to evil. The good/evil transition happens at 49. I'm sure that would've been in the Hichiker's Guide to Small Business Management...
Will it prompt, "Are you sure?" before dispatching help?