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Security for the Paranoid

Posted by timothy on from the middle-firewall-is-spying-on-you dept.

Stephenmg writes "In Security for the Paranoid, Mark Burnett talks about his computer security methods after other Security profesionals say he is too Paranoid. 'Paranoia is the key to success in the security world. Is it time to worry when other security professionals consider you too paranoid? I require my kids to use at least 14 character passwords on our home network and I'm considering issuing them smart cards.' I don't see anything wrong with his methods."

29 of 449 comments (clear)

  1. Burnett by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Mark Burnett talks about his computer security methods...

    "Outwit, outplay, and outlast those pesky script-kiddies."

    1. Re:Burnett by EvilTwinSkippy · · Score: 2, Funny
      "Outwit, outplay, and outlast those pesky script-kiddies."

      When to we get to vote them off the island already?

      --
      "Learning is not compulsory... neither is survival."
      --Dr.W.Edwards Deming
  2. paranoid? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    get with it man, you're not important, nobody wants your porn

    1. Re:paranoid? by John+Seminal · · Score: 2, Funny
      get with it man, you're not important, nobody wants your porn

      If it is homemade, they want it. It will end up on Kazza. Then when some kid at the local library is trying to download it, and the school catches him, and the principal sees your wife. Man, that would suck!. And all the parents wanted to do was save the experience on DVD for their own private use. Now the whole town can see them in thier most private moment.

      --

      Rosco: "If brains were gunpowder, Enos couldn't blow his nose."

  3. Not secure enough... by stefanlasiewski · · Score: 5, Funny

    The only truely secure computer is one which is switched off and disconnected from the network.

    And smashed with a sledgehammer.

    And set on fire, to the temperature of 600F, which should be sufficient to destroy the magnetic bits in the hard drive.

    And then nuke it from orbit, it's the only way to be sure.

    --
    "Can of worms? The can is open... the worms are everywhere."
    1. Re:Not secure enough... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      " The only truely secure computer is one which is ... disconnected from the network."

      That's why I recommend Comcast for all your security needs!

    2. Re:Not secure enough... by Jeremiah+Cornelius · · Score: 2, Funny

      Why you post anon? I want to reward you RICHLY with funny bones!

      --
      "Flyin' in just a sweet place,
      Never been known to fail..."
    3. Re:Not secure enough... by nigelc · · Score: 2, Funny
      You've actually worked with Stallman? I envy you.

      (dons flameproof suit)

      --


      Cthulhu Barata Nikto
  4. Re:Mark is Paranoid, but Trusting of Microsoft? by wdd1040 · · Score: 4, Funny

    He just doesn't tell you he rebuilds all computers on his network two days after the patch is released.

    --
    wdd
  5. Convenience = 1/Security by winkydink · · Score: 5, Funny

    And this guy is set up very secure.

    Is he mentally ill? Let's just say he doesn't sound like the type of person I'd want to have a beer with.

    In fact, he sounds a lot more like the type of person who has food, water & weapons buried in the woods for the coming Apocalypse.

    --

    "I'd rather be a lightning rod than a seismometer." -Ken Kesey

    1. Re:Convenience = 1/Security by ClickNMix · · Score: 5, Funny

      In fact, he sounds a lot more like the type of person who has food, water & weapons buried in the woods for the coming Apocalypse.

      But if you did have a beer with him, come the Apocalypse, maybe he'd let you have some of his food and water.

      --
      I saw the light at the end of the tunnel... But it was just someone with a flashlight bringing more work.
    2. Re:Convenience = 1/Security by Matey-O · · Score: 4, Funny

      Pre Y2k, my Dad and I were discussing the Generators on sale at Costco. He asked if I was going to buy one.

      I said 'Nah. If the power is out on Jan 1, I'll step out on the front porch and listen. Three generators will start up within earshot,followed soon thereafter by three gunshots, then those generators will start up in different locations of the sub-division.'

      --
      "Draco dormiens nunquam titillandus."
    3. Re:Convenience = 1/Security by hey! · · Score: 2, Funny

      No, the equation should be:

      kSC = 1

      where S is security, C is convenience, and k is a parameter which represents the security-godhood of your sysadmin (e.g. Bruce Shneier would be in the 0.9+ range, your average MIS grunt being ~0).

      --
      Post may contain irony: discontinue use if experiencing mood swings, nausea or elevated blood pressure.
  6. It's a good start by empty+drum · · Score: 5, Funny

    Paranoia's a good starting point for the IT Security beginner, but well-informed abject fear is the mark of a seasoned professional.

    --
    Creative Commons music that doesn't suck: emptydrum.com
  7. Is it just me or... by mattmentecky · · Score: 5, Funny

    Does it seem kind of stupid, especially for the 'security paranoid', to announce to the public that you use "at least 14 character passwords"? Seems to me you just set a lower bound and cut out 13^128 possibilities for a cracker :-p

    1. Re:Is it just me or... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

      I bet you weren't supposed to figure that out. He probably really uses a 6 character password and was just paranoid enough to mis-inform everyone on what he uses. The cracker would waste effort at the high end first this way. :)

  8. Re:14 character password? by MrP-(at+work) · · Score: 5, Funny

    "What's the difference between a random 14 digit password and a random 6 digit password?" 8 digits?

    --
    [an error occurred while processing this directive]
  9. Re:14 character password? by saintp · · Score: 5, Funny
    The former is on a sticky note under the keyboard.

    Did I win?

    --
    Another one bites the dust
  10. The guy's issues are not security related by Deep+Fried+Geekboy · · Score: 4, Funny
    It takes five passwords to boot up my laptop and check my e-mail. One of those passwords is over 50 characters long.
    You know, the only thing worse than having this guy run your IT would would be actually *being* him.
    --

    I'm not wrong. You haven't thought about it hard enough.

  11. Oh Yeah? by macthulhu · · Score: 4, Funny

    Let's see if this guy's kung fu can survive a few rounds against international superhacker "bitchchecker". Just have him email his IP address to bitchchecker@madskillz.com... (Please allow for a lengthy response time, as bitchchecker is probably busy rebooting his machine for the 75th time today.)

    --

    Someday a real rain is gonna come...

  12. You fail by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    89374891751574 - 636957 = 89374891114617 (14 digits)

  13. Re:smart cards? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    kids need 14 character passwords to protect it inside your home?

    Their passwords are probably things like:

    my_dad_is_an_asshole!
    hereismy14characterpasswo rdyounutjob

  14. Re:14 character password? by Orion+Blastar · · Score: 2, Funny

    I use a "Spaceballs" password.

    123456 for 6 digits and 1234567890123456 for 16 digits. In fact, that is what I use for Slashdot.

    *N&GTV&GO)JBT^U
    NO CARRIER

    H3h3, w3 @r3 1n!!1! W3 pwn j00 0r10n! D@mn, l00k, 1'm p0$t1ng as 0r10n B7@$t@r!

    --
    Remember, Slashdot does not have a -1 disagree moderation, and no, troll, flamebait, and overrated are not substitutes.
  15. Don't bury your weapons by swb · · Score: 4, Funny

    You won't be able to get to them in time. Besides, we know the threat is closer than than that. Some of us even know that the apocalypse isn't coming, it's here already.

    Look what happens in every zombie movie; you think you have an opportunity to drive even 25 miles and dig up your S&W 1006 and your M4? You're zombie food.

    You need your sidearm ON YOU, and your rifle at arm's length. You need 2k rounds for your sidearm and 5k rounds for your rifle on hand ALL the time, along with supplies to crank out another 10k rounds if necessary.

    More shit buried in the woods is a great idea, too, but don't leave yourself unarmed.

  16. Re:Mark is Paranoid, but Trusting of Microsoft? by EvilTwinSkippy · · Score: 4, Funny
    And I install hotfixes the day Microsoft releases them

    Skip trust. That boy must have a lot of time on his hands.

    --
    "Learning is not compulsory... neither is survival."
    --Dr.W.Edwards Deming
  17. Re:paranoid my ass by Neurotoxic666 · · Score: 3, Funny

    what the hell is he using windows for?

    So he can justify the 14-character passwords and the smart cards.

    --
    You are more than the sum of what you consume. Desire is not an occupation.
  18. Microsoft is not the problem by mkmoose · · Score: 5, Funny

    The problem is his kids! What about the social engineering risks. Someone could just buy his kids a six pack in exchange for their passwords. The only logical solution is to get rid of his kids. Probably get rid of his wife too. I doubt she can really be trusted to have acess to the system.

  19. Well with these new cases and such... by CYDVicious · · Score: 2, Funny

    I keep my PC's turned around so I can tell if anyone has installed a hardware keylogger. He feels so safe with the PC's turned around that... -doesn't see the usb keylogger in the front usb port... ...or the usb dongle plugged into the keyboard usb port of this nice Dell by Microsoft keyboard... On a side note, what is he going to use as a cup holder now?

    --
    //Nothing to see here, please move along.
  20. Not that Paranoid by obender · · Score: 2, Funny
    His file systems are not encrypted. Guess the swap file is not encrypted either. And he leaves the computers in the house when he goes out. And I bet his smart cards are not edible.

    This is just an amateur paranoid.