Slashdot Mirror
Permormance-Enhancing Contact Lenses
coastal984 writes "With all the allegations, criticisms, congressional hearings, and suspensions concerning performance-enchancing steroids and supplements in sports, namely Major League Baseball, Nike has now introduced performance-enhancing contact lenses. These new lenses, which give players wearing them a scary orange/amber tint to their eyes, block out useless blue tones and make colors such as red (i.e. the seams on a baseball, vital to batters) easier to see. They also block out sun rays and help ease shadows, as well as improve overall vision. There are also versions for golfers and other sports, and soon to be versions for night contests as well."
Only 19.95 + 7.99 S&H from NIKE!!!!
Order now, and we'll throw in these set of knives!
Operators are standing by! Order now!
1-888-BLU-BLOK.
Moneyed corporations, non-working 'poor' and criminal prisoners are turning productive citizens into tax-slaves.
Could use some enhancement of their proofreading "permormance".
Everyone knows that damage is done to the soul by bad motion pictures. -Pope Pius XI
I've got to get me a pair of 90fps contacts.
The hell with sports, let's give gamers a boost!
block out useless blue tones
And at once a thousand tiny hi-piched screams sounded through the night, and no one ever saw a smurf, ever again.
Go ahead and call me unreliable; reliable is just a synonym for predictable.
NERDS. stuff that MATTERS!
Sports? bah...
I just recently discovered I do, in fact, HAVE a permormance, and I am also very interested in enhancing it.
That MIGHT have been funny, if you hadn't mistakenly thought that it wasn't spelled "Mormon." :)
You mean naked?
If this rule was implemented, the WNBA might become watchable.
____
~ |rip/\/\aster /\/\onkey
Someone is going to have to explain to me why you
need 20-10 vision to see a stationary golf ball
less than 6 ft away.
They certainly don't need to see where it lands,
caddies, marshalls, fans, etc can do that.