Slashdot Mirror
Bezos Patents Information Exchange
theodp writes "Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos was handed a patent Tuesday for Information exchange between users of different web pages. Tough to tell what exactly it might cover ('various modifications may be made without deviating from the spirit and scope of the invention'), although RSS Newsreaders, TrackBacks, and Google News come to mind. Elements of Bezos' invention may evoke a sense of deja vu in those who used Third Voice or the Annotation Engine."
Can you patent the concept of getting idiotic and vague patents on computer concepts?
Oh wait, too much prior art.
I patent kicking Jeff Bezos in the nuts.. oh no, wait, I'd want anyone to be free to do that in an unrestricted, royalty free fashion....
The revolution will not be televised. It won't be on a friggin blog either
Isn't amazing that he has time to run Amazon and invent RSS newsreaders, Trackbacks and Google News!
Luser CEO attitude re-adjustment tool (LCART)(pat. pend.)
and
Luser Patent Examiner attitude re-adjustment tool (LPEART) (pat. pend.)
Using this patent as proof that neither innovation has an example of a effectively deployed prior art. I will of course licence such devices to any indivdual as long as he demonstrates a willingness to use them in the field.
Items used by the much deserving recipents of adjustment to shield themselves will be punished for the use of circumvention devices to the full extent of the law, followed by further adjustment.
This patent covers a novel invention for ultra-high bandwidth full duplex data transfer.
This invention comprises of the following components:
Carrier medium; a level, rigid surface no less than 8.0 meters wide. The exemplar is black bitumen.
Duplex Facilitation Indicator; a parallel strip of material (paint is used for the exemplar) of width 100.0 millimeters spaced 100.0 millimeters apart placed in the geometric centre of the carrier medium. Colour must be suffiently different to the carrier medium as to be easily visible to the human eye at a distance of 20.0 meters, the exemplar is yellow.
Data Packet; 1972 Ford XC Station Wagon containing no less than 10,000 Dual Layer DVD+RW.
The implementation of....
well, much as the joke should be funny, the sad fact that; properly gussied up by a patent attorney or, as I like to call them, waste of perfectly good oxygen; this would probably be granted a patent leads me to the inevetable conclusion that the patent system is permanently broken, being as it was intended to FACILITATE competition and progress, not stifle same.
That and we have continuing proof of the universe's phenomenal ability to produce bigger and better idiots.
err!
jak
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Indianapolis Colts quarterback Peyton Manning has been granted a patent on the transfer of an object from one person to another (with or without a gap in time during which the object is in the possession of neither person).
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Cyclist Lance Armstrong has been granted three (3) patents:
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Transportation of a human being via self-propelled vehicle with multiple circular suspension devices
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Winning the Tour de France
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Raising money by selling inexpensive but unique items of adornment
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Mohatma Gandhi has been granted a patent for thwarting the plans of far-flung empires and changing the course of history by doing nothing
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The editors of Slashdot have been granted a patent on the use of web site to disseminate the same information several times a week
(Sorry about that last one).Raise your children as if you were teaching them to raise your grandchildren, because you are.
..."Bozos Patent Information Exchange"?
patent = Patents.find_by_number 6889250
puts "patent #{patent.number} is held by:"
puts patent.holder.last_name.sub('e','o').chop
You know what I'm gonna patent? The business practice of patenting absolutely anything and everything under the sun. Then I can sue MS and Amazon for like a bazillion kajillion dollars. Or else sell one of them the patent rights and live like a king.
I think there's already sufficient prior art for that.
Has anybody patented posting text to the www yet?
I have a feeling I owe somebody a nickel...
All the torrents you could want.
- a corporation takes money from a customer,
- smears the money with fecal matter from various officers of the corporation,
- rubs the money in the customer's face,
- and then deposits money into bank account when all fecal matter has been transfered to customer's face.
If I patented this, maybe companies would stop doing this to us. Although I guess there already is plenty of prior art.