Ground Rules for the Windows vs. Mac War

FreshlyShornBalls writes "The New York Times is running a story that I think needs to be seen by everyone on both sides of the on-going Macintosh vs. Windows debate (i.e. just about everyone who posts on Slashdot): Some ground rules for the Windows vs. Mac War." From the article: "Last week, I wrote about some of the changes Microsoft has in store for the next version of Windows, which is slated for the end of 2006. Interestingly, very few of you responded to that column, probably because so much may change in the next 19 months. But a few of you fired off diatribes about how I'm either a Microsoft 'shill' or an Apple 'apologist' (or maybe it was the other way around). It's not just me, either; it's a running sardonic joke among tech columnists that you can't even USE the word 'Apple' or 'Microsoft' without getting hate mail from somebody or other."

Comments

Oh no you didn't

[Cylix]

I'll flame you into extinction for not mentioning Linux!

And what about my BSD brehthren?

I think we've been far to lax for some time... time to take up arms.

Re:Oh no you didn't

[Tackhead]

> I'll flame you into extinction for not mentioning Linux!
>
> And what about my BSD brehthren?
>
> I think we've been far to lax for some time... time to take up arms.

1) That's GNU/Linux to you, sir.
2) Dead. Don't you reat Netcraft?
3) Leave my well-regulated militia out of this!

Now that that's over with, let's get back on topic - ground rules for the Windows vs. Mac war".

I suggest that we start by discussing whether the Logitech 1000MX favored by many M$ users is too irreducibly complex to have evolved from the one-button mouse used by many Macintosh users.

/closes eyes, throws match over shoulder, and runs like hell as the long weekend starts.

Thank you

[PaxTech]

I love getting my news from Freshly Shorn Balls. In this age of no media credibility (Newsweek, NYT, I'm looking at you), Freshly Shorn Balls are clearly the answer. :)

"Rules?"

[Hawthorne01]

"...in a knife fight?"

dude

[Anonymous Coward]

I don't know what this guy's on, but Thomas the Tank Engine rules.

Re:dude

[Tumbleweed]

I prefer The Little Engine That Could. He came with his own Reality Distortion Field(TM), "I think I can, I think I can!"

FreshlyShornBalls

[phasm42]

from the users-need-to-think-before-they-pick-names dept.
How excellent.

Re:FreshlyShornBalls

[jokestress]

Let's hope FreshlyShornBalls is the only nick he got in the process!

Re:FreshlyShornBalls

[switcha]

Let's hope FreshlyShornBalls is the only nick he got in the process!

Let's hope he's a he.

Fine, I'll start.

[captnitro]

When crafting your flames, follow the guidelines below to ensure the highest troll-to-signal ratio.

1. Always mention gaming as the pinnacle of computing.

E.g., "The Macintosh has not proven itself to the gamers market as of yet, but excels in media production."

"Windows, whatever your complaints, has wide support for a variety of gaming technologies not yet implemented on other platforms."

2. Refine to make sure it doesn't make sense:

E.g., "Apples suck because my friend tommy once he tried to play a game on his apple iie and it puffed smoke and i was like wtf??!! WHERE IN THE WORLD IS CARMEN SANDIEGO??!"

"I JUST PRESS A BUTTON IN MY WINDOWS SYSTEM CONTROL PANEL AND BACON COMES OUT!!!11one"

3. Make sure you're l33t. If you're not, girls won't like you. They also won't like you unless everybody else is a homosexual.

"FARGOT!! jesuz christo wtf MY 4PPL is T3H L33T BOMB ROX0R!! micro$0ft sux0rs to play fallout and i dont evan LIKE BACON"

"YOUR MOM like to play counterstrike and my W1NDOZE MACHENE IS WIN-WIN SITUATION!!! onbly liberals like bacon cocknut"

4. For clarity, just translate it into Spanish and ROT13 it. It's not like anybody's gonna read it anyway. Then go do your homework like your mom told you to half an hour ago.

vi!

[McGiraf]

vi!

play to their strengths

[mchallis]

I prefer, an Apple box, runing Ubuntu Linux with a Microsoft mouse and IBM Keyboard. There is everyone happy now?

Everyone Is Wrong!

[gbulmash]

CP/M on a Commodore 128 was is and always shall be the pinnacle of operating systems.

If you leave CP/M out of the debate, you are in league with the devil and deserve the evil fate that befalls you!!!!

- Greg

Silly debate

[interstellar_donkey]

A Windows vs. Mac debate is as silly as a G.I. Joe vs Strawberry Shortcake debate.

One is for boys, and the other is for girls and male homosexuals.

Duh.

Does this mean we are going to have a real war?

[glowimperial]

An actual war between Windows and Mac users would be awesome. I'd love to see some cubicle to cubicle Molotov cocktail tossing.

Re:Does this mean we are going to have a real war?

[WankersRevenge]

At my work, all the cute ladies are the mac users so the war would be very short lived. The ladies would toss the cocktails. The geeks would stare in amazement, each thinking "wow, she noticed me" as they all went up in flames.

Re:Apple zelots are a double edged sword.

[Valar]

I hear that all the damned time. I'm a former computer engineering guy who has recently taken up with a group of artists and industrial designers. Obviously, mac users the whole lot (well, so am I, but at least I get my facts straight). As far as I can tell, the difference between an apple zealot and a wintel zealot is that a wintel zealot doesn't even know why wintel is supposed to be better, but the apple zealot is prepared with brochures straight from marketing.

Intel processors

[0xABADC0DA]

Or maybe you just didn't understand the guy? He was probably just saying you couldn't play a video and do any other math at the same time at the processor level which seem true enough to me. Probably the fact he was fat, greasy, and lacked social skills predisposed you to misinterpreting him. Yeah, ok that's still a bad image for Apple...

...but Intel processors are the suck. If processors weren't a prime example of market lock-in there would be no reason to use any x86 (even AMD) over Power, or over 68k back in the day. Check sandpile.org and see if you can made any sense in the instruction set.

Re:Bollocks

[Tim Browse]

only served to detract from your argument and make you look immature.

Or, as we say around here, "+5, Insightful"...

Re:Website for Mac vs. PC?

[ziggy_travesty]

I'm inside of a doughnut shop and I need to find a way to get fat. Does anyone know how to do this?

Here's how it goes down...

[tentimestwenty]

Yes, I see it now:

The Windows users building some kind of overcomplicated Molotov-cocktail which ignites with the least effort and causes most of them to get blown up. The balance of Windows users have already by chance attended Molotov-cocktail University and are certified to make the basic explosive.

Mac users, on the other side of the office, order theirs from molotovcocktail.com. Each one comes in box so pretty that few ever remove the contents and those that do, adorn their person with multiple cocktails. Although still heavily outnumbered, they are quite skilled at throwing. The battle plays itself out to a near draw, given the ratio of Windows users left to the Mac users who can get the cocktail out of the box and through attrition there are only two users left standing.

After that, in walks the Linux user with a mini-nuclear-bomb which he took 20 years to construct in his basement. He rids the office of both Windows and Mac users.

Afterwards, a race of mutant Linuxes grow up to inhabit the Earth.

Re:Here's how it goes down...

[TheRaven64]

Some time later, both BSD users emerge from their fall-out shelters, look around, wonder if they missed anything, and then go back into their shelters to keep on working.