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I am the Most Spammed Person in the World

Posted by timothy on from the heart-goes-out-to-you dept.

jefp writes "In November 2004, Microsoft's second-in-command Steve Ballmer made some headlines by mentioning that Chairman Bill Gates was getting four million spams per day. At the time, I was dealing with a little spam problem of my own - I was getting around a million spams per day. I found it a little comforting that my problem wasn't quite as bad as Bill's. However, a couple of weeks later Ballmer corrected himself, saying he mis-remembered the stat and Gates actually gets four million per year. This means I was getting one hundred times as much spam as Bill Gates. I've written a tutorial explaining why I get so much crapmail and how I deal with it."

17 of 478 comments (clear)

  1. This will help his spam problem for sure!! by fizz · · Score: 5, Funny

    he just went from 1 million a day to about 1.3 million a day.

  2. And that's why.... by The+Woodworker · · Score: 5, Funny

    you don't post your email address to farmgirls.com!

    --
    Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. Teach him to fish and he'll wipe out the species.
  3. You can cope with 1M spam emails... by ccozan · · Score: 5, Funny

    ...but not with one slashdotting.

  4. What's happening here is: by Njoyda+Sauce · · Score: 5, Funny

    He's really just using Slashdot to break his server farm so he won't have to get spam anymore.

    --

    You can only be young once, but you can be immature forever.
  5. I know how to deal with spam. by PopeAlien · · Score: 5, Funny

    I dont get nearly as much spam as that, but even a few hundred a day is pretty irritating. My solution is to delete all email as soon as I get it.

    I figure if its important I'll get a phone call.

    --
    air and light and time and space
    1. Re:I know how to deal with spam. by Everleet · · Score: 5, Funny

      Funny, I delete all phone calls as soon as I get them. I figure if it's important I'll get an IM.

      --
      It's tragic. Laugh.
    2. Re:I know how to deal with spam. by DoomHaven · · Score: 5, Funny

      Funny, I delete all IMs as soon as I get them. I figure if it's important, I'll get a visit.

      --
      "Don't mind me cutting myself on Occam's Razor"
    3. Re:I know how to deal with spam. by over_exposed · · Score: 5, Funny

      Funny, I delete all of my visitors as soon as they show up. I figure if it's important, I'll get an e-mail.

      I couldn't resist, I'm sorry. *hangs head in shame*

      --
      "The object of war is not to die for your country, but to make the other bastard die for his." - Patton
    4. Re:I know how to deal with spam. by Poltras · · Score: 5, Funny

      Funny, I delete all of my visitors as soon as they show up. I figure if it's important, the police will come and circle the house.

      --
      Of Code And Men
    5. Re:I know how to deal with spam. by AndersOSU · · Score: 5, Funny

      Funny, in Soviet Russia the police delete you.

    6. Re:I know how to deal with spam. by Cobralisk · · Score: 5, Funny

      I don't know, as I delete all slashdot threads as soon as I get them. I figure if its important I'll get a crapflood of spam.

      --
      Waiting for ad.doubleclick.net...
    7. Re:I know how to deal with spam. by The-Bus · · Score: 5, Funny

      Sorry, readers. The posters and the posts above are on the queue to be sacked. We had asked someone in the department to sack them earlier, but they didn't do it. Those responsible for sacking the people who have just been sacked have been sacked.

      As a result, since no one receives email, calls, visitors, IMs, telegrams, or Soviet secret police, we are sending messenger (African) pigeons to deliver these messages to you, in an entirely different style at great expense and at the last minute.

      --

      Small potatoes make the steak look bigger.

  6. Re:in the world... by fataugie · · Score: 5, Funny

    Ha! I'm the World's Greatest Dad, and I have a mug to prove it!

    The funny thing is, I don't have any kids....

    --

    WTF? Over?

  7. Re:Stop endorsing plagiarism, editors!!! by Anonymous+Brave+Guy · · Score: 5, Funny
    You don't suppose they could be the same person, hmm?

    I think the line

    "I've written a tutorial explaining why I get so much crapmail and how I deal with it."

    kinda gave that away already.

    --
    If you disagree, post your argument. (-1, Overrated) isn't your personal censorship tool for views you don't like.
  8. slashdotted... by ajrs · · Score: 5, Funny

    so I sent him an email asking for the text

  9. Close second. by Grendel+Drago · · Score: 5, Funny
    My money's on this one.

    Yeah, back in my day, if we needed directions we had to slaughter a goat and wiggle the intestines!

    You sick fucker. How can you joke about abusing a beautiful animal like a goat? If I ever catch you i'll crack your skull open.

    You sick fucker. How can you joke about cracking someone's skull open? If I ever catch you i'll slaughter you and wiggle the intestines.

    You sick fucker. How can you joke about slaughtering someone? If I ever catch you I'll sit down and eat Ice Cream.

    I am Ice Cream, you insensitive clod!
    --
    Laws do not persuade just because they threaten. --Seneca
  10. Re:Heh by Anne_Nonymous · · Score: 5, Funny

    I use my Senator's email address. I suspect he needs a bigger penis anyhow.