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Canada Loses North Pole

Posted by timothy on from the loser-canadians dept.

An anonymous reader submits "The Earth's roaming magnetic pole has moved out of Canada and into international waters as it heads towards Siberia. The magnetic pole has been within Canada's current boundaries for at least the past 400 years and left sometime in the past year after rapidly picking up speed in 2001. If it keeps to its current course and expected speed, it should reach Siberia by the middle of the century. There's speculation that December's tsunami causing earthquake may have been one of the factors causing the pole to move more quickly than predicted."

9 of 79 comments (clear)

  1. Mr President, Dr. Evil is on the line... by TripMaster+Monkey · · Score: 5, Funny


    Good day, gentlemen. As you are no doubt aware, I have perfected a device capable of manipulating the earth's magnetic field. This device has already shifted the position of the earth's poles by a significant margin, and will continue to do so, eventually forcing the poles to swap positions entirely. For this reason, I've christened this latest caper 'Operation Roly-Poley'...

    You see, gentlemen, Operation Roly-Poley will continue to destabilize the magnetic field of our fragile world, causing geological and meteorological disturbances on a global scale...that is, of course...unless you pay me...

    One hundred billion kajillion fafillion dollaaaars!
    (cue dramatic music)

    Gentlemen, you have my demands...peace out.

    --
    ____

    ~ |rip/\/\aster /\/\onkey

    1. Re:Mr President, Dr. Evil is on the line... by Ajmuller · · Score: 4, Funny

      Can you arrange to have the north pole moved to my house?
      I'll charge a 10$ admission fee and cutyou in for 40% of all profits.

      Right here please.
      http://maps.google.com/maps?ll=40.800293,-74.11986 0&spn=0.004181,0.005092&hl=en

      I suspect we will have a substantial volume as this is located in suburban New Jersey and will attract more visitors than the middle of some frozen tundra.

      Will the north pole melt? I can have a suitably large refrigeration device constructed if necessecary.

  2. In other news... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    in a shocking turn of events, Santa Claus takes advantage of his new out-of-borders workshop and cuts elf wages by 50%

  3. Canada didn't lose it by NitsujTPU · · Score: 4, Funny

    Canada didn't lose it, they merely outsourced it offshore.

  4. Canada Loses North Pole by unitron · · Score: 5, Funny
    "Canada Loses North Pole"

    Why does everyone always blame Canada?

    Maybe they didn't lose it, maybe it was stolen, maybe it snuck off on it's own, maybe it's just on summer vacation.

    --

    I see even classic Slashdot is now pretty much unusable on dial up anymore.

  5. End of the world... by Elliot+Anderson · · Score: 4, Funny

    And Canada is like... "whats going on ey?"

    1. Re:End of the world... by NanoGator · · Score: 4, Funny

      "And Canada is like... "whats going on ey?""

      I'm sorry, sir. But if you're going to make lame stereotypical cracks about Canada, you'll also have to write them in French.

      --
      "Derp de derp."
    2. Re:End of the world... by Punboy · · Score: 5, Funny

      Le monde finit. Les Canadiens disent ce qui continue, eh?

      --
      If you like what I've said here, and want to read more, go to http://www.krillrblog.com
  6. Re:Great... by toddbu · · Score: 4, Funny

    True, but did you notice that the North Pole left Canada silently?

    --
    If you don't want crime to pay, let the government run it.