How To Balance Life And Technology For Kids?

brs165 writes "Being a newly minted geek father as of 4 months ago, I've thought about problems I've never had reason to consider before. One issue which I'd like to hear from the ./ crowd is introducing technology to their children. What got me thinking about this was a blog post about 'Nature-Deficit Disorder', and I think it brings up some good points. I grew up playing in the local woods and creek with minimal tech until our first computer when I was 13. I hear stories from coworkers how some of their kids/grandkids hating going outside because it is boring and they'd rather stay indoors. Should I avoid introducing them to technology until absolutely neccessary, or is it a matter of achieving a balance?"

Comments

Simple...

[Laivincolmo]

Just create a simulation of all that icky nature stuff on a computer and plug them in matrix style for 18 years. Then reveal to them their whole life has been a sham up until that point.. :)

Re:Simple...

[starrsoft]

Even better: Make sure they never go to dotslash. You know they'll get addicted then... :-)

Re:Simple...

[Spetiam]

Personally, I would severely limit their computer time (as well as TV time), then very gradually relax starting around 13 or 14 or when they start high school. Until they're out on their own, unless they have a real ability with programming/networking/graphics/whatever, I'd encourage them to live life in the real world. If they're not developing a genuine skill or actively engaged in something productive (like writing a paper), there's no need for them to have more access than necessary. If they're using the computer for entertainment, I'd probably treat it like any other form of entertainment that fails to develop good social skills, i.e., restrict it.

Of course, the usual parental concerns of child safety, exposure to inappropriate content, etc., also come into play according to the parents' values.

Your influence is the number one thing

[Humba]

I'm a geek dad of 4 kids (9, 6, 4, and 1 yrs). Obviously, a balance is necessary.

But the real thing is: Your kid(s) will be into whatever you're into. If all you do is stay inside with the XBox and plasma TV, don't be surprised if that's all they ever want to do. For Father's Day (in the US) today, I took the boys on a bike ride, then we did waste a beautiful summer afternoon in the movie theater watching Ep 3.

Always look for ways to re-live your youth with them: Legos, Star Wars, bike riding, snow forts, adventures in the woods, baseball, and mindless shows on Cartoon Network all play a part. The computer is just a new element to share together.

--H

Re:Your influence is the number one thing

[squarefish]

I wouldn't be so sure of this. a good friend of mine has a 6 year old and he's glad that his son shows no interest in computers or video games yet- he's surprised there hasn't been any peer presure from his son's friends. the father is programmer and developer for the main gaming platforms and has all the developer kits in his office. the room is always locked and the son has a play area in the room while his father is working and needs to watch him, but otherwise doesn't participate or pay attention to what his father is doing, which can be particularly useful when he's working on a violent game like area 51. the father is very happy that his son just wants to run around outside and play with real toys for now.

Re:Your influence is the number one thing

[johnpaul191]

obviously balance is key. i think the downfall we will see is crappy parenting more than the evils of technology. too may parents are too busy, just suck or are too paranoid and would rather the kids are in the den with a playstation then outside with kidnappers and drugs and terrorists.

i think most kids WANT to play outdoors. the thing is to find something THEY like. for example if you keep trying to play baseball and the kid would really rather ride a bike, they are going to resist. kids generally have an abundance of energy and if they don't get that out, they will end up overweight and/or medicated for having no attention span in the classroom.

if the kids show too much interest in technology you can always work that into outdoor fun. something like http://www.geocaching.com/ is total nrrd fun, and requires leaving the house and poking around.

i guess as much as i was not outdoors, i was not sitting in front of video games or a computer. i was taking things apart and making things. that seems to be lost on a lot of young kids today. the nerdlier ones are more likely to be computer kids. they will look up something online instead of taking things apart to see how they work. hopefully things like Make Magazine will spark a resurgence in DIY gadgetry? that seems to be vital to mechanical creativity. it's like reading about how to ride a bike instead of getting one one and doing it.

Re:Your influence is the number one thing

[syousef]

Absolutely. Besides have a look at the techy/geeky side of the outdoors. Here are some suggestions

1) Buy a GPS. Go geocaching. Plenty of geekiness, plenty of outdoors. Can also use this on trips and to go exploring. Also could teach them to navigate/hike. (Cheaper alternative: Map and compass).

2) Take your kids to the local airport to watch planes take off and land. Plenty of geeky stuff but they're getting out and learning. (Could preface this with showing them how hard it is to fly real aircraft ala MSFS2004).

3) Research and buy a telescope or if you can't afford a decent one good binoculars. Again plenty of outdoors adventure, and lots of learning, while still being true to the geek in you

4) Buy them a microscope and go collecting specimens with them. Some time indoors and some time outdoors. A good mix.

5) Remote control cars/boats/planes are great hobbies that get you out and about.

6) Take them out on a boat. Teach them about different aspects of steering a small craft etc.

7) Birdwatching. Buy a good birdwatcher's book and get them to identify the local birds. Then plan trips to see others.

8) Take them to your local zoo. Don't just walk around like a schmuck. Get them to learn about animal behviours, identification, classification etc. If you can't afford the zoo or a local wildlife park, even a duck pond will do.

All of these things cost money, but then since when do gadgets not cost money???

Point is if you think the real world is boring compared to the computer, you just haven't been out in the real world enough. There is SO much out there. Most of the things you had as a kid are still out there.

Re:Your influence is the number one thing

[cagle_.25]

9) Get a good butterfly book and teach them how to ID, photograph, and raise butterflies.

10) Let them help you with home repairs.

11) Teach them how to raise cool plants ... like Venus Flytraps.

social evolution

[handy_vandal]

I grew up playing in the local woods and creek with minimal tech until our first computer when I was 13. I hear stories from coworkers how some of their kids/grandkids hating going outside because it is boring and they'd rather stay indoors.

Kids raised indoors on computers will adapt better than their parents to a career in cubicle indenture.

-kgj

Re:social evolution

[Seumas]

What I don't get is what reason is there to "balance"? Chances are a kid is going to grow up in the city. Live in the city. Shop in the city. Work in the city. Commute in the city. When exactly is he going to fucking see wilderness, outside of half-assed public parks and the one trip every couple years up to some well-kept government camping ground (which is about as much "outdoors" as a New York city roof garden).

Besides, everyone knows that nature sucks. That's why we pave shit.

Toys that run on kid-power

[Mononoke]

No batteries, no chargers, just the power of the child's imagination.

There's a reason why they'd rather play with the box than the toy. Respect and support that creativity.

OMG that means ...

[Anonymous Coward]

you've had sex!!!

way to go :O

Re:OMG that means ...

[Seumas]

So you must be his wife?

Re:OMG that means ...

[Keruo]

Oh come on.. give the man some credit..

He's geek, so naturally he cloned himself instead adopting.

First off...

[Pete LaGrange]

Try to understand that you're not going to have nearly the amount of input you seem to think you will. Your kids are going to be introduced to a whole host of things without your consent/knowledge.

Once you wrap your mind around that, you can start to prepare yourself to teach them to deal with those things on a rational level.

You're thinking ahead, at least, and that's the first step to success. Good luck, you'll need it.

Pete (father of 8)

get them outdoors

[reverse flow reactor]

Let them see the outdoors, and if technology is there, it is a tool and not the toy.

DO: get them outside, go canoeing, biking, hiking, walking, skiing, camping, exploring, build and launch model rockets (please, lauch outside), build a treehouse... If you must involve technology, bring a GPS and a digital camera (but don't forget a map and compass - be sure they know how to use those when the GPS batteries die). While you are out there, talk to them abou the plants species, the mountains, how the compass works, how the water flows around the canoe and what make the bike stable while it is moving.

What did you enjoy doing outside as a kid? Why not try that? If they enjoy it too, that's great - you are doing somehting you enjoy outside, and your kids are there and having fun too!!

Is it possible for you to even raise your kids without a TV? I can certainly live without a TV (over a year now, almost 3 years depending on how you count it).

DO NOT: buy a Nintendo/PS3/XBox and let the toy babysit the kids for you. People at Slashdot will expel the virtues of how they learned problem solving and "other skills" while playing video games. Well, I learned a few German words playing a foreign game, and picked up some geography from Civ3, but try and keep the video games to a minimum.

Being a parent is an active responsibility (but it can be fun). Just be sure you go exploring. If you are having fun, they probably will be too. If the kids look forward to going biking with dad more than sitting in front of the boob-tube playing Mari Kart 12, you are doing your job well! If they hear "Dad's home, and were building rockets tonight!" and drop the video game in the middle of a game to join you, you are doing great!

Some thoughts

[slavemowgli]

Major e longinquo reverentia, as they say - everything looks good (or, for that matter, better) from far away, and forbidden fruits appear tastier.

It's probably a better idea to introduce your kids to computers and all that early on. Compare it to the TV - your kids are most likely going to be allowed to watch TV before they're 14 (or whatever), but that doesn't mean you'll allow them to do it for eight hours each day without checking *what* they watch.

Do give them limits; enforce them, but don't be arbitrary. Above all, make them transparent and understandable - if you tell your kids that they can use the computer, but for an hour only, that's much better than only coming in after an hour and telling them that they have to stop *now*.

Don't give them a bad example; if you don't do anything except sit at the computer (or, more generally, stay indoors) all day, then your kids *will* question why it's bad for them if it obviously isn't bad for you, too.

That's about what I can think of right now. As a disclaimer, though, I don't have kids myself.

Reality beats simulation

[EmbeddedJanitor]

The worst part of using technology is that it is primarily entertainment based. Even Discovery channel etc now competes for viewer time by upping the dramatic component of their shows. Reality, fact etc all get shoved aside to get viewer time.

Which kid learns more about nature? The one who goes down to the stream, falls in and gets wet and finds a few frogs hiding under some branches, or, the kid that plays magic schoolbus field trip game?

Apart from exposure to nature, there are many other things that create a real framework for kids. Yesterday we (myself, wife + kids) planted 60 trees in a grid. We used pythagoras to set things up square. We did multiplication/division etc to calculate how many rows and trees per row etc. We talked about nutrients etc as we added compost that the kids had helped to make some months ago. We talked about harvesting, pruning etc. On top of this, the kids got some exercise!

Re:Reality beats simulation

[Reaperducer]

Sword fighting with the dogs and letting the well run dry while making mud pies for the dogs to eat.

Your dogs swordfight and make mud pies? That's cool. I guess that's what mine would do if he had thumbs.

Re:Nature/Tech

[FreakyControl]

I don't understand this notion of, "We need to have our kids using computers from birth to better prepare them for the future." I didn't use a computer until middle school, then just for word processing. That certainly didn't hinder me from my current position as a PhD. student in engineering.

Think about it, many of us didn't have all of these technological toys when we were little, and we seemed to adapt just fine. Computer usage isn't some sort of esoteric skill that requires years of training to master. It's not like you're trying to levitate cars with your mind.

Perhaps if children were exposed to life outside of the digital babysitter they would develop their imaginations more, and become more creative, healthier (mentally and physically) people. Maybe if more kids ran around outside more often, child obesity wouldn't be so prevelent in our society.

Overall, as with most things a balance is what is necessary. Sure I had my Atari when I was a kid, but I was only allowed to play with it for a certain amount of time. Just as TV was limited. The same can be done with a computer, especially if your child doesn't have all of these technological wonders in their bedroom. Show your child all that the world has to offer and what the imagination can do with it.

And a final thought on, "what you want your kid to be when he/she grows up." - that decision should ultimately be left up to your child once they're old enough to make it, not one that should be forced on them from birth. I've seen many a miserable engineer and computer scientist for just that reason.

Re:Nature/Tech

[SimonShine]

It depends on what you want your kid to be when he/she grows up.

Yeah, you have to keep the skill cap in mind. Multi-classing sucks because then your kid only advances levels half as fast.

Huh

[Elshar]

Am I the only one that misread the title as "how to Load balance life, technology, and kids"?

Dogs v. Nature

[yintercept]

I love dogs. On the subject of wilderness, however, Dogs are extremely destructive. Dogs and wilderness do not mix. When you take them into the wilderness they chase all of the wild life away. They pollute streams and intensify the destruction of the wilderness.

Pets are more of a consumer product than they are an introduction to nature.

I've spent most of my life without a dog. Coco showed up on the porch a year and a half ago. I take her on regular walks in the mountains. It is freightening the amount of destruction I see being done by dogs.

In a discussion on the value of pets. Yes, kids and dogs are a great combination. However, pets are about the domination of animals. Taking Coco on trips into the mountains, I am now starting to see the extent to which dogs dominate recreation and the affect that they have on the diminishing nature around us.

In other words, you should only have a dog if you really, really want to have a dog. You should only have a dog if you are wanting a pet to be a primary focus of your recreation time.

You should budget two grand a year for dog care and food, and plan to spend a great deal of time with it.

Coco showed up on my porch because a family with two sons bought a puppy as a consumer product, and found out that dogs are a big hassle.

Re:Nature/Tech

[aklix]

You bring up a few good points. Infact 9 months prior to delivery I am going to order a weight set from 1 gram to 500 kg, and my child WILL be trained to lift a car with his/her mind.

Don't buy into the fear!

[soft_guy]

Playing down at the woods/creek isn't any more dangerous now than it was when you were a kid. Let your kids play outside.

My wife won't allow our daughter to play outside unless she can physically see her the whole time because she is sooo worried about "pedophiles". Totally insane.

Also, I've noticed that my kid has her own personality and interests. You will need to become interested in things that interest your child as well as sharing your interests with him or her.

Re:SimPark + the real thing

[Jabberu]

You'll have to forgive me, but I disagree with everything you say. I can't claim that I know of a better system, but the whole "play outside and then you can play on the computer" is in my eyes just as flawed as "do the dishes and then you can watch TV". What that is teaching is that computers and TV are a _reward_ to strive for which I believe to be a great error (I'm not saying the brats shouldn't do the darn dishes though). All you should really strive to teach them is moderation in everything, and trying to provide a varied area of both entertainment and learning. And as for the whole "consoles are counter-productive". I've grown up with Nintendo since I was 6 and because of games (both PC and consoles) I've managed to a great amount of English, and most importantly: I had fun. Kids learn through games and play, and who's to say that a console is inferior of entertainment than a PC?

Balance

[Britz]

Life is all about balance. Raising kids, too. Teach them as much as you like as early as you like. Just remember to balance work and play, outside and inside, free time and rules. Kids need rules and need to test them. They also need their own space. Limited of course, but their own.

You put it right.

Balance

Re:SimPark + the real thing

[Doctor Memory]

because of games (both PC and consoles) I've managed to a great amount of English

Sure you have, dude...sure you have.

Be there for them!

[chris_eineke]

Don't leave your wife and your kids when your kids are three and one year old. It messes up your wife and the kids.

I know.

I'm talking from experience. I grew up without having a father I could talk to... :(

Re:Hold off on the tech.

[Mr2001]

I'm concerned that kids today are too dependant on technology. Take away the cell phones, iPods, and game consoles, and what are kids left doing? Nothing.

But couldn't you have said the same thing 50 years ago about different technologies? "Take away the bicycles, radios, BB guns, baseball bats, and mass-produced comic books, and what are kids left doing? Nothing."

Kids have always used objects to entertain themselves - they're usually called toys. Sitting around reading comics or novels wasn't any better than sitting around playing Halo, but even video games today can exercise your body as well as your mind (see Dance Dance Revolution).

But I think the premise here is flawed to begin with. We don't have to worry about what kids might have if we took away all their modern technology, because they do have modern technology. Feel free to point out problems with their use of it, but at least stay focused on the world we live in. Even if we're going to posit a situation where a kid who's used to playing Xbox all day is forced to do without--to go live on a desert island or something--entertainment should be the least of our concerns. We might as well ask how he's going to keep warm without all those new-fangled jeans and T-shirts.

Re:SimPark + the real thing

[Curtman]

What that is teaching is that computers and TV are a _reward_ to strive for which I believe to be a great error

I couldn't agree more. If you want your kids to enjoy the out doors, then take them there. Go to the beach, go camping. Go play sports with them. And have a good time while you're doing it. Make that the reward, and the computer something to do in the meantime.