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What's the Best Geek Joke You Know?
super_ogg writes "To break some of the office blues, I decided to tell the worst geek joke I know: 'Why did the Comp. Engineer get X-mas and Halloween mixed up? A: Because Oct(31) == Dec(25)!' Some groaned, some laughed, but only a geek could understand it. I was wondering what are some of the best/worst geek jokes people have out there for the Slashdot community?"
All of a sudden, they stumble upon Archemides with a canteen full of water! Archemides says "One of you can have this canteen and you'll live, but only if you walk half way to it, stop, walk half way to it, etc., etc.
The mathematic, in anquish, lays his head in his arm and start to cry. "It can't be done" he rages.
The engineer looks at the mathematician in disgust, shrugs his shoulders, walks half way, stops, walks half way, stop, etc., etc. Finally he stops next to it, leans over, picks up the canteen and drinks.
Archemides and the mathematician both are in shock. Archemides exclaims "but how did you do that -- it's impossible!"
Again, the engineer shrugs. "I got close enough for practical purposes!"
I was in a bus that had to be rebooted.
I was taking a Peter Pan bus from Baltimore down South, and we were watching an in-bus movie (Yay Peter Pan!), when all of a sudden... The bus driver turned off the movie, pulled over to the side of the interstate, and announced over the PA that he had to reboot the bus. He then turned off the engine, and we sat there for 2 minutes. After that, he turned it back on, restarted the movie, and we were on our way.
So...yeah, it can work for buses, at least.
--LWM
How about a math lymric? .5) / 7 + 5 * 11 == 9 ^ 2 + 0
(12 + 144 + 20 + 3 * 4 ^
Translated:
A dozen, a gross, and a score, plus three times the square root of four, divided by 7, plus 5 times 11, is nine squared, and not a bit more.
Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant and a banana?
A: Elephant-banana-sine-theta in a direction perpendicular to both the elephant and the banana according to the right-hand rule.
Q: What do you get when you cross an mountain climber and a banana.
A: You can't. A mountain climber is a scalar.
Q: What's a polar bear?
A: A rectangular bear after a coordinate transform.
Everyone is entitled to his own opinions, but not his own facts.
A Mathematician, a Biologist and a Physicist are sitting in a street cafe watching people going in and coming out of the house on the other side of the street. First they see two people going into the house. Time passes. After a while they notice three persons coming out of the house. The Physicist: "The measurement wasn't accurate.". The Biologist: "They have reproduced". The Mathematician: "If now exactly one person enters the house then it will be empty again."
"A: Turdulence."
Uh huh.
I remember watching Channel 1 back in high school. For those who don't know what Channel 1 is, it's a news station for schools around the USA. Just before a commercial break, they'd ask a question and pop up the answer when it returned.
One day, they asked: "Q. What is the most common cause of plane crashes?"
Without thinking, I excited blurted out "Gravity!" Turns out, the answer was "Human Error". I learned a lesson about that on the way to the principal's office.
"Derp de derp."
"So, Werner, two trains are heading toward each other. One is travelling at 60 kilometers per hour, and the other at 40 kph. A bird starts at one train, flies to the other at 120kph, and as soon as it reaches the other train it instantly reverses course back to the original train. It continues to do this until the trains meet. If the trains start out 100 kilometers apart, what is the total distance covered by the bird?"
(answer in reply to this comment)
Hesenberg instantly replies, "120 kilometers!"
"Drat!" says the questioner, "I bet you'd solve it the hard way!"
"Ah! There's an easy way!" cries Heisenberg.
PHEM - party like it's 1997-2003!