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Russia Planning Double Mission to Mars
dylanduck writes "Apparently Russia has revived a previous plan to send a spacecraft to Phobos, a tiny Martian moon. Turns out it's a cool place to land - much easier than the surface as far less deceleration is needed, it should have plenty of Mars rocks spattered on the surface and it's just 9000km above the surface. Some think it the perfect place for a Mars moonbase." From the article: "A mission devoted to the moons could explain how the satellites are held together - whether they are piles of rubble loosely held together by gravity or solid chunks. Most scientists assume the heavily cratered moons are captured asteroids, Christensen told New Scientist. But it is actually quite hard for a planet to capture an object into its orbit - most things just skim by. 'So how it got there is a bit of an enigma,' Christensen says."
Once more, panic swept across our fair world when it was revealed by the Council that the invaders from the evil blue planet intend to assault our innermost fortress satellite.
The fortress satellites, which have stood guard over our world since the Council placed them into orbit over ninety Great Cycles ago, have easily fought off all invaders in the past. Against the cunning machines manufactured by the disgusting water bags inhabiting the evil blue planet, however, the fortress satellites may be more vulnerable than previously thought.
K'Breel, Speaker for the Council, stressed that there was no cause for alarm:
When asked if rumours were true that the faction of blue-planet-inhabitants responsible for the threatened invasion was the same as the one who had just recently failed utterly to launch a primitive solar sail device into space, K'Breel laughed maniacally.
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~ |rip/\/\aster /\/\onkey
If they forget the shotgun they'll be screwed on like the fourth lebvel.
Let me know if the lander encounters any Leather Goddesses of Phobos. (Great '80s game, btw.)
It must be Windows. It needs half a gig of RAM and a hardware-accelerated graphics card just to run Solitaire.
I think we have to hope for leather godesses, but plan for daemons.
-Peter
That no one in here has made a DOOM reference yet.
I, for one, welcome our new pink overlords
Don't worry. If things get out of hand, just type in IDKFA.
"We shall party like the Greeks of old! You know the ones I mean." - HedonismBot
Maybe God put it there.
In Soviet Russia, all of us are belong to base.
Dammit, why doesn't anyone have a proper sense of humor anymore? Clearly the link should have looked like this: Mars moonbase.
Except for that pesky lightspeed delay.
End of lesson. You may press the button.
Phobos' orbit is decaying and will likely crash into Mars or split into a ring within 50 million years
PING earth.ssnet (3ffe:ffff:100:f101::1) 56(84) bytes of data.
64 bytes from earth.ssnet (3ffe:ffff:100:f101::1): icmp_seq=1 ttl=52 time=14412874.9 ms
64 bytes from earth.ssnet (3ffe:ffff:100:f101::1): icmp_seq=2 ttl=52 time=14412872.3 ms
64 bytes from earth.ssnet (3ffe:ffff:100:f101::1): icmp_seq=3 ttl=52 time=14412876.2 ms
64 bytes from earth.ssnet (3ffe:ffff:100:f101::1): icmp_seq=4 ttl=52 time=14412874.3 ms
I call shenanigans. Nobody uses IPv6
Sheesh, those Russians must have a terrible education system. Isn't it obvious that the Martian moons are there because God put them there in His Ultimate Wisdom?
>> time=14412874.3 ms
So it'll be just like Battlenet?
http://request-header.info
And all the naysayers were positive that we would be landing on dust several hundred feet thick and the landers would just sink in.
They would have sunk in, had they landed on the REAL moon. Duh.
Perhaps the Russians, having lost all of their native brides due to their effective mail order industry, have decided to investigate the rumors of leather goddesses.
You see? You see? Your stupid minds! Stupid! Stupid!
No, no, no, it's...
In Soviet Russia, Earthlings invade Mars!