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Reminding Customers Patented by Amazon

Posted by samzenpus on from the wish-this-was-a-joke dept.

theodp writes "When your little Hogwart checks out the latest Harry Potter book at Amazon, he or she may be reminded that they've already ordered the book. It's all part of CEO Jeff Bezos latest patent for the Contextual presentation of information about related orders during browsing of an electronic catalog, which also covers warning customers about drug interactions ('you previously purchased Drug ABC'). The USPTO allowed the patent after four years and five rejections."

14 of 237 comments (clear)

  1. Coming up.... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

    Soon, Amazon will patent the ordering of products via the internet.

    1. Re:Coming up.... by computerdude33 · · Score: 1, Funny

      Too easy... they'd patent the internet itself.

      --
      computerdude33's stuff: My blog of wonder.
    2. Re:Coming up.... by tds67 · · Score: 0, Funny
      Soon, Amazon will patent the ordering of products via the internet.

      They will have to deal with Al Gore's patent on the Internet itself, first.

  2. Patent THIS! by Bonzor · · Score: 3, Funny

    I'd like to see them patent shipping something out on time. I ordered a phone from them, which they said was in stock. I have checked status and the expected delivery date is August 1st....mind you I ordered this a week ago.

    C'mon, how about customer service? Must we rely on computers to do everything?

  3. You know what... by TheRealMindChild · · Score: 2, Funny

    Just give me Jeff's address. Ill take care of it

    --

    "When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back!" -- Cave Johnson
  4. Re:Illustrates the problem perfectly by ceeam · · Score: 2, Funny

    Flooding? Wow - this gives me an idea - why should we all not go and submit (at least weekly) some random shit to USPTO? I wonder - if it gets DoS'ed what will they do then?

  5. Re:That's why I boycot Amazon by Nytewynd · · Score: 2, Funny

    I think I buy enough from Amazon to offset you and anyone else that boycotts them.

    They are just too convenient with the 1 click shopping and a huge amount of merchandise. I just got my digital camera from them.

    --
    /. ++
  6. little Hogwort? by Psykechan · · Score: 4, Funny

    When your little Hogwart checks out the latest Harry Potter book at Amazon, he or she may be reminded...

    Isn't Hogwart the name of the school? What the heck would a little Hogwart be? Can any of you little Slashdots explain this to me?

  7. Use programing instead. by AltGrendel · · Score: 1, Funny
    while (!$patent_accepted){
    $patent ~= s/$word/$new_word/g
    resubmit
    }

    There, much more efficient.

    --
    The simple truth is that interstellar distances will not fit into the human imagination

    - Douglas Adams

  8. Next Amazon patent - "Selling" by mrRay720 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Yes that's right. Amazon already have in the planning stage a patent for the previously unknown concept of "selling". This unique and freshly invented process involves the exchange of goods for money.

    There are also plans in the pipeline for saeveral other uniquie and novel concepts. Expect the following to be taken to the patent stage soon:
    -Websites
    -The number 5
    -Presenting a product to a customer
    -Telling people they can buy stuff
    -Creating words from symbols known as 'letters'
    -Only accepting orders if a payment is made
    -Sending out orders in 'boxes', whatever they are
    -Inhaling air, and exhaling carbon dioxide

    I wish I had the brains of those guys - they am them most cleverest.

  9. Re:Is there no prior art on this at all?? by smittyoneeach · · Score: 4, Funny

    In an abstract way, my wife.
    That work of art neither forgets, nor hesitates to remind. ;)

    --
    Get thee glass eyes, and, like a scurvy politician, seem to see things thou dost not.--King Lear
  10. Re:Why Stupid patents? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    It's no wonder Maddox [thebestpag...iverse.net] and Kottke [kottke.org] are thinking that blogs are starting to suck ass.

    What the hell are you smoking? Blogs have always sucked ass.

  11. Re:It's a sad day for Intellectual Property when.. by turchinc · · Score: 5, Funny

    Dear Jeff,

    This is just a friendly reminder from the USPTO that you have already tried to submit this patent over five (5) times. This could be an indication that what you trying to patent is completely lacking in innovation or that you are in fact not the first person to come up with this idea. Sometimes, particularly with entirely banal patent submissions, it is a combination of both.

    You could check our online FAQ for more information on why your patent keeps getting rejected, or you could just "chill out and get the message finally". If you think you have received this reminder in error, please contact us at priorart@uspto.gov or try submitting the patent again. Its only the taxpayer's money your wasting, after all.

    Thanks.

    Best Regards,

    The Patent Office

  12. It's already working! by TheUnknownCoder · · Score: 5, Funny

    I just got the following message:

    WARNING
    ----------------
     You're about to purchase Linux Bible, 2005 Edition, which should not be read in combination with Windows XP for Dummies that you bought last week.
    This item has been made unavailable for your purchase for the next 10 years, when the effects of the first item are completely gone!

    --
    Uncopyrightable: The longest word you can write without repeating a letter.