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Requiem for the Once-Imagined Future

Carl Bialik from the WSJ writes "The underwhelming Discovery mission has the Wall Street Journal Online's Real Time columnists lamenting the space program's failure to realize the sort of intergalactic exploration they once imagined as kids through the works of Arthur C. Clarke and Robert Heinlein. Considering the Viking landers were digging around Martain soil back in 1976, 'we figured the place would be necklaced with orbiters and cris-crossed by rovers by now. Maybe there'd even be astronauts (or cosmonauts or taikonauts) tracing the courses of unimaginably ancient rivers.' Instead, we get a mission whose highlights were 'a) it came back; and b) an astronaut pulled bits of cloth out from between tiles.' At this rate, the columnists fear the innovations of the future won't be much more exciting: 'Maybe Real Time 2030 will fret about how our college kids do little more than steal full-res holographic porn when they're not getting their financial identities stolen by cyber-jihadists eager to build more backpack nukes.'"

25 of 674 comments (clear)

  1. forget space by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    You want to talk about the short commings of the predicted future then forget space where is my ROCKET CAR!

    1. Re:forget space by rbgaynor · · Score: 3, Funny

      Be careful what you wish for rocket car

      --
      "Good things don't end with eum, they end with mania or teria." - H. Simpson
  2. full-res you say? by vertinox · · Score: 5, Funny

    Maybe Real Time 2030 will fret about how our college kids do little more than steal full-res holographic porn

    Bah! If it doesn't have full tactile neural input, then I'm not interested.

    --
    "I am the king of the Romans, and am superior to rules of grammar!"
    -Sigismund, Holy Roman Emperor (1368-1437)
    1. Re:full-res you say? by davecrist · · Score: 2, Funny

      wah?.... it's the tactile OUTPUT that would make it really interesting...

      8)

  3. There is hope! by Ken+Hall · · Score: 5, Funny

    I, for one, am heartened by how much the shuttle has come to resemble the Millenium Falcon. At least in the reliability department.

  4. Where are my flying cars? by jonthegm · · Score: 2, Funny

    I was promised flying cars by 2000!

  5. Don't Forget C by MrCopilot · · Score: 5, Funny
    Instead, we get a mission whose highlights were 'a) it came back; and b) an astronaut pulled bits of cloth out from between tiles.

    Lest we forget c.)Took out the trash.

    --
    OSGGFG - Open Source Gamers Guide to Free Games
  6. Where's the Jetsons car I was promised? by coastin · · Score: 2, Funny

    It seems that some time ago in my past, I read on the the back of a cereal box that by the time I was grownup I would be driving one of those nifty Jetsons cars that hoover and fly. Do I really have to grow up to get one?

    --
    I lost my sig...
  7. Re:Far greater things lie ahead by Craig_P92669 · · Score: 3, Funny

    Because it wasn't funny. First post is always supposed to be funny.

    --
    http://xs4.xs.to/pics/04481/p556222.gif
  8. Yes but... by ravenspear · · Score: 4, Funny

    Tanks for example are quite protected against nukes, and our vastly superior engineered bodies will not have much problems with nukes unless one goes off right by you (get better implanted radar!).

    I can think of a few downsides to having a metal, indestructable body. For example, the sex probably wouldn't be as good.

    1. Re:Yes but... by myukew · · Score: 2, Funny

      as this is slashdot i'll probably get some karma for saying

      Sex is for the w34k!

    2. Re:Yes but... by xs650 · · Score: 4, Funny

      Au Contraire, the sparks would fly.

  9. Re:Far greater things lie ahead by Bun · · Score: 3, Funny

    It is hard to imagine anything more repugnant than the 'trans-human' cyborg 'life' you are describing here.

    --
    "Anyone that has ever gotten an idea based on any of my work and done something better with it-good for you."--J.Carmack
  10. Re:As Gregory Benford's Corollary Says: by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    "Any technology distinguishable from magic is insufficiently advanced."

  11. Re:Far greater things lie ahead by Digital+Vomit · · Score: 4, Funny

    And I bet you any money that, when we reach this stage, we still won't have any damned flying cars!

    --
    Modern copyright is theft of culture from everyone and it retards the progress of the useful arts and sciences.
  12. Re:Project Orion by Quiet_Desperation · · Score: 2, Funny
    Orion Buff: I'm here to get approval for my spacecraft operations.

    Government Regulator: OK. Now what was the propulsion method again?

    OB: We explode nuclear bombs.

    GR: (blank stare)

    OB: Lots of them.

    GR: (blank stare)

    OB: You know... for the thrust.

    GR: Yes. Well. I'm going to have to ask you to step into the, uh, spproval chamber and Officer Brunehilde will be along to strip sear- check your paperwork in a few minutes.

  13. Re:The problem is power by Blakey+Rat · · Score: 4, Funny

    We need to invent that glowy crap on the back of every spaceship on TV and in the movies. The Millenium Falcon had no trouble landing and taking off from a planet without a fuel tank... you just turn on the glowy crap, and bam you're there. The starship Enterprise just makes the glowy crap flash really bright, and they're going faster than light itself! Even the Stargate uses glowy crap technology to bridge planets.

    We just need to invent that glowy crap and everything else will fall into place.

  14. Re:Far greater things lie ahead by Tumbleweed · · Score: 2, Funny

    And I bet you any money that, when we reach this stage, we still won't have any damned flying cars!

    Nah, much like the Cylons in the new Battlestar Galactica, we will BE those flying cars!

    I call dibs on the flying Lamborghini design from AutoMan!

  15. Re:Transhumanism will never happen by saider · · Score: 1, Funny

    more words -

    "where" "the" "fuck" "are" "we" "going" "to" "get" "that" "much" "workable" "material"

    --


    Remember, You are unique...just like everyone else.
  16. Re:I'll take the asteroid by Pfhorrest · · Score: 5, Funny

    ...the mentality that the only careers worth having are those of criminal/thug, celebrity/whore, or lawyer/lobbyist/politician.

    So you're saying there's basically just one commonly desirable job in today's market? ;-)

    --
    -Forrest Cameranesi, Geek of all Trades
    "I am Sam. Sam I am. I do not like trolls, flames, or spam."
  17. Re:Far greater things lie ahead by Psmylie · · Score: 2, Funny
    "who put LSD in my coffee this morning?"

    That was me, I got our mugs mixed up. My bad.

    --

    psmylie's dictionary: Godzillion (noun) Any number large enough to destroy Tokyo

  18. Re:If I had one wish... by dzfoo · · Score: 3, Funny

    Wow, that sounded surprisingly close to a Hallmark greeting card.

          -dZ.

    --
    Carol vs. Ghost
    ...Can you save Christmas?
  19. Re:Far greater things lie ahead by cypherz · · Score: 2, Funny

    Wow, that was the bestest post I've ever read! :-)

    --
    This sig kills fascists.
  20. Socialism by TheDurkinBoy · · Score: 1, Funny

    I'd like to have a retirement, but a nerd on Mars will keep me warm instead. I'd like to buy medicine for my wife, but just raise my taxes to put a nerd on Mars. I'd like to buy a house that is safe, but instead you can raise my taxes for a nerd on mars and I'll be lickity-split happy and do you a little jig in my thread-bare overalls. Weee-doggy! A robot or man on Mars! NASA looks funded the same way China and Russia funded their space programs. Good thing we is the land of the free and home of capitalism and frown on socialism.

  21. Re:Far greater things lie ahead by archgoon · · Score: 2, Funny

    Maybe I need an editor

    You and the rest of slashdot. :)