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Xbox 360 Launch to Face Several Hurdles
JamesO writes "Microsoft's J Allard has said that the Xbox 360 will be released in differing versions over the next five years. "It's something we're not ready to announce yet," he said. "I don't think it's a one-size-fits-all [approach] over the next five-year horizon." Relatedly JamesO writes "Microsoft is saying that anywhere up to 40 games could be released for the Xbox 360 during its launch period, but which of those will make or break the console's launch? Pro-G choose their ten most important Xbox 360 launch games. Not the ten best launch games, but the most important for the success of the Xbox 360."
So it seems Microsoft has done a complete 180 on previous statements? How ironic!
Her sphincter covered with bright red blood...all the visuals of a shiny, blood-red pussy without the smell
The article failed to mention the two main setbacks. First, they based the OS off of Longhorn. Second, they want to ship every console with a copy of Duke Nukem Forever.
Taking a cue from their competition (Nintendo), Microsoft announced that we can help them overcome these hurdles by repeatedly pressing A-B-A-B-A-B-A-B-A-B-A-B as fast as possible.
1. XBox 360 95- Way better than the Xbox, but you have to take it apart and rebuild it monthly. Optional "Plus Pack" to add themes.
2. XBox 360 98- Plug and Play joystics added (sort of). Though it crashed less, its not really that much different than XBox 360 95 but everyone thinks they want it.
3. XBox 360 CE- This is the portable version, Duh!
4. XBox 360 98SE- Exactly the same as XBox 360 98, but it costs more, and M$ says it's better so people think they want it more. Also included, a Weezer Video.
5. XBox 360 ME- This version crashes almost as much as the XBox 360 95, but it has built-in backups for when it corrupts, so you've got that going for you.
6. XBox 360 XP- Much better than all previous versions, but the EU and SEC will make Microsoft remove the browser, which is full of bugs... The linux community will absolutely hate the XBox 360 XP, even though it really isn't all that bad, if you know how to secure it, which is a serious pain in the ass.
7. XBox 360 Vista- This version will totally rip-off all other 3rd Generation consoles, and is the whole reason they have the tiered release plan anyway...
Is it me, or are all of those sequels?
Round 1 (this year):
One model with hard drive, one without. (360HD and 360).
Round 2 (next year, one week before Sony launch):
One model with HD-DVD and HD, one model with HD-DVD and no HD (360 HDDHD and 360 HDD).
360 HD and 360 reduce in price (1/2 cost of PS3), still offered.
Halo 3 re-issued on HD-DVD media with added content.
Round 3 (year after Sony launch)
New model with improved graphics performance to pass Sony, hard drive and no hard drive models - 720 HDDHD and 720 HDD.
360 HDDHD and 360 HDD reduced in price.
360 HD and 360 discontinued.
Halo 4 issued in HD-DVD, requires 720 XXXxx model to work.
Funny or insightful? You decide!
"There is more worth loving than we have strength to love." - Brian Jay Stanley
10) Relies on someone going back in time to a point when Rare made a good game.
9) Built to convince PC RPG gamers to switch to a console.
8) Kills two birds with one stone, great arcade racer and greater Japanese interest in console.
7) Makes sure that second bird is really dead and not just faking it.
6) The first lesson of Breast Physics dictates the pull of the console is proportional to the bounce of your fighter.
5) Because the WWII genre is just so fresh.
4) "Ubi-quitous" stealth action game.
3) To draw people tired of the license grind.
2) It's the only way to have football on when there's no football on.
1) Make that two games that rely going back in time and... loop detected!
"There is more worth loving than we have strength to love." - Brian Jay Stanley
... and can you believe those bastards at Alienware, every time I plan to put down an order, they hoodwink me again and release the "fastest computer in the world". It's almost like they're trying to offer the most up-to-date technology as it's released to the public. I can NEVER seem to figure out when they're going to release the final spec gaming system, it's driving me crazy.
Instead of offering the console in several different versions, why not let the people customize it by themselves? Want a HD with the console? Buy one and add it in! Want better optical-drive? Replace the one that came with the system with a better one! The user could also add better CPU and more RAM to the system.
Since these consoles would be more personal than the identical model they have sold in the past, we need a new name for these consoles. I suggest a "Personal Console", or "PC" for short.
Lesbian Nazi Hookers Abducted by UFOs and Forced Into Weight Loss Programs - -all next week on Town Talk.
You managed to get in the monstrous size of your display, the massive strength of your computer hardware, the size of your ALTERNATE television - an LCD, and you even put "(not a typo)" in there, as if to suggest we might all suspect you mean 10.5 inches, or perhaps 15 inches, rather than 105 inches.
Your penis must be less than 2 inches. It's the only explanation.
See, I knew it was ironic, somewhere! And in one ironic twist, the whole situation becomes an instance of irony!
"Kameo and Ninety-Nine Nights are not sequels."
Shit. I guess it was me.
Whatever you want to argue about Microsoft, it is hard to argue that they are bad at making money
No kidding. They made a bundle on the original XBOX