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Google Plans To Destroy Unindexed Information

Posted by Zonk on from the bow-before-the-google-rays-pitiful-mortals dept.

linolium writes "Executives at Google, the rapidly growing online-search company that promises to 'organize the world's information,' announced Monday the latest step in their expansion effort: a far-reaching plan to destroy all the information it is unable to index. 'Book burning is just the beginning," said Google co-founder Larry Page. 'This fall, we'll unveil Google Sound, which will record and index all the noise on Earth. Is your baby sleeping soundly? Does your high-school sweetheart still talk about you? Google will have the answers.'" FYI; it's The Onion, so yes, it's a joke.

7 of 319 comments (clear)

  1. Re:As if dupes weren't enough... by Conspiracy_Of_Doves · · Score: 3, Informative

    Did you perchance notice the big foot next to the article? Granted, it doesn't appear on the front page as it probably should, but it is still there.

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    Technoli
  2. DUP! by overshoot · · Score: 3, Informative

    We had this one back in April.

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    Lacking <sarcasm> tags, /. substitutes moderation as "Troll."
  3. Re:Man...i knew....but.. by kramer · · Score: 5, Informative

    It's really not that hard.....

    (1) Go to preferences
    (2) Select Home Page
    (3) Uncheck Zonk in the list of Authors you want to read stories from
    (4) Profit

  4. Re:As if dupes weren't enough... by DSP_Geek · · Score: 4, Informative

    I dunno about The Onion not being real news. They called this one pretty well:

    http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28784

    "Bush: Our long national nightmare of peace and prosperity is finally over." -- Onion, Jan 17/2001.

  5. Re:I, for one... by Eideewt · · Score: 3, Informative

    For everyone who's too dumb to read the article: It's a joke, and does not cover Google's actual intentions.

  6. Re:I, for one... by staticdragon · · Score: 3, Informative

    Reminds me of the Futurama episode where Fry is sent in to stop the brains from destroying the Universe once they finish collecting every piece of info about it...

  7. Re:I, for one... by unitron · · Score: 3, Informative
    "...outside of April Fool's I don't think I've ever seen them report satire as if it were real news."

    Well, at least they remembered to include the humor icon (the Monty Python foot).

    Is this Zonk guy someone fairly new, or did people just start complaining about him recently?

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    I see even classic Slashdot is now pretty much unusable on dial up anymore.