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Google Plans To Destroy Unindexed Information
linolium writes "Executives at Google, the rapidly growing online-search company that promises to 'organize the world's information,' announced Monday the latest step in their expansion effort: a far-reaching plan to destroy all the information it is unable to index. 'Book burning is just the beginning," said Google co-founder Larry Page. 'This fall, we'll unveil Google Sound, which will record and index all the noise on Earth. Is your baby sleeping soundly? Does your high-school sweetheart still talk about you? Google will have the answers.'" FYI; it's The Onion, so yes, it's a joke.
Slashdot vows to destory all fake articles.
Now slashdot is quoting THE ONION as real news. Wow, I want my subscription money back.
--sig fault--
this reminds me of Bill Gates decision to raise his Charisma to 25.
Is this really worth a top post on Slashdot, that The Onion wrote a funny piece? It's sort of their standard fare - in fact, I'm beginning to feel like The Onion is doing a better job at putting togethe rinteresting articles than slashdot is.
Planet-Geek
Event Management Solutions : http://www.stonekeep.com/
Did you see that? thats /. jumping the shark.
I wouldn't worry too much, your stuff should still be safe. I hear it takes them awhile to get these things out of Beta...
For a second I thought it was April 1st. Geez.
I know it doesn't show up on the main page, but the "Monty Python humor foot" is visible when you click the link. I'm sure anyone with a shred of a sense of humor would recognize it's a joke.
Ease up, cowboy. There will be a dupe you can complain about coming along in 5 minutes. My money's on the "Microsoft employee virus chaser" myself - anyone want to place bets that "Freespire" is the next dupe?
52 Weeks, 52 Religions with John Hummel
"When did /. get a sense of humor?"
It didn't, they just did their usual amount of fact checking.
I rarely criticize things I don't care about.
We had this one back in April.
Lacking <sarcasm> tags,
- Buy Antivirus for your cell phone
- Why we should all love corporate Linux
- MS supports good guys!
- Why you need a new digital camera... and its not about picture quality.
- Breaking story from America's Finest News Source.
What do these have in common? Corporate cheer-leading, perhaps?I want news, not ads for nerds.
It's really not that hard.....
(1) Go to preferences
(2) Select Home Page
(3) Uncheck Zonk in the list of Authors you want to read stories from
(4) Profit
This article calls attention to just how silly the whole thing is. Before I'm modded as a troll, I'd like to point out that I like Google too, but it isn't healthy to worship them this much or post every single Google-related rumour on the internet on this site.
And of course, if Zonk actually did think it was real, that just makes everything I said all the more true...
For everyone who's too dumb to read the article: It's a joke, and does not cover Google's actual intentions.
Ya know, this is really a good thing! I was really wondering how I was gonna hide all that stuff I didn't want the cops/feds to find out about me. Now, I don't have to worry about it - the all-knowing all-powerful Google Purge service will make sure my computer is clean!
OTOH, I sent this page to some friends, and they actually believed it for a few minutes... I need new friends...
--- "To ignore race and sex is racist and sexist!" -- Jesse Jackson
Reminds me of the Futurama episode where Fry is sent in to stop the brains from destroying the Universe once they finish collecting every piece of info about it...
I refuse to RTFA because it's obviously an ad for the Onion. They make their money by serving ads while I read their amusing parodies. Well I, for one, refuse to read anything that isn't pasted to me in clear text completely sanitized of ads and recommended to me by a disinterested 3rd party. I know it seems a bit hypocritical of me to post a comment on an ad-supported site about how I won't read the article of another ad-supported site, but I really love the prestige of having the word 'Insightful' appear next to my nick.
"Derp de derp."
Meanwhile, just last night, I wrote to Google and said, "OK, you find everything on the Internet, you find what I need to get stuff done at work on my workstation, but why can't you find my car keys?" And now they're going to do that.
Apparently, this means we can all stop submitting Google headlines to Slashdot. Ask me instead.
Help us build a better map!
When the flying brains created the giant infosphere that indexed all the information in the universe, and was then to destroy the universe to prevent any new information from being created. But who's going to sneak into google on a flying scooter?
[100% ISO 646 Compliant]
SVM, ERGO MONSTRO.
I work at a fairly well respected search engine marketing firm. Someone at a client of ours passed this article to their CEO, who in turn called us in a panic!
;)
Our analyst doesn't bother to actually read the article, and spends several hours creating reports proving every page on their site appears in Google's database! I almost fell out of my chair when heard about this.
For obvious reasons I cannot reveal my true identity.
Well, at least they remembered to include the humor icon (the Monty Python foot).
Is this Zonk guy someone fairly new, or did people just start complaining about him recently?
I see even classic Slashdot is now pretty much unusable on dial up anymore.
Google search reveals: 23,900,000 for "Jesus"... 6,410,000 for "Beatles"... 251,000,000 for "Google". 'Nuff said.
"The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the pieces." --Aldo Leopold (Paraphrased)
Google, the rapidly growing online-search company that promises to 'organize the world's information,'
Oh, that Google. Thanks for the elaboration, yes I've heard of them before.
Flying is easy, just throw yourself at the ground and miss. -Douglas Adams