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Microsoft Aims for Hack-Proof 360
jondaw writes "The BBC is reporting that "Microsoft plans to make its next generation games console, the Xbox 360, as difficult as possible to hack...There are going to be levels of security in this box that the hacker community has never seen before...I'm sure sooner or later someone will work out how to circumvent security. But the way we have done the design doesn't mean that it will work on somebody else's machine.""
This must be the computerish equivalent of the "Kick-Me" tee-shirt...
Just keep on hyping up your new security up until launch. Thay way you look like even bigger 4$$holes when it all comes crashing down.
Rats would be more funny if they could fart.
The kernel software will, of course, be protected with poor coding that is nigh impossible to navigate.
The box will be made out of the rare metal Adamantium infused with trace particles of kryptonite. Virtully unbreakable, and protected against any Kryptonian hackers.
But the most important security measure of all: Microsoft plans on installing at least half a dozen starving, crazed weasels that will attack anyone who succeeds in opening their boxes.
This sig isn't original enough, it's time to come up with something witty...
A lawyer friend once told me that the working definition of "waterproof" was not that something was impervious to water, but that when something was damaged by water the manufacturer was obliged to replace it.
Maybe what Microsoft is saying is that when your Xbox 360 becomes a DDOSing zombie, they will replace it for free*.
*postage paid by end user. Please include a stamped, self-addressed return box. 350 dollar processing fee required. Void in New York, California, and anywhere else those linux loving hippies live.
"Microsoft plans to make its next generation games console, the Xbox 360, as difficult as possible to hack..."
In a basement in the Midwest...
Hacker1: According to the diagram we are supposed pull the firing pin without shifting it's center of gavity or otherwise the mercury will hit the electrodes on the C4.
Hacker2: Ok. *click* *beep* *beep* *beep* Oh crap! You didn't say anything about a presure plate.
Hacker1: Quick. Cut the wire to the right of the power supply.
Hacker2: Ok. Oh double crap!
Hacker1: What?
Hacker2: There are two wires!
Hacker1: Well just cut one for christ sakes!
Hacker2: Here goes nothing! *clips* *beeping stops* *phew*
Hacker1: Finally... No we put the rom chip here... *xbox starts spewing green smoke*
Hacker2: Oh fark! *coughs* It the posion gas!
Hacker1: *coughs* Does this mean we *coughs* voided the warranty?
"I am the king of the Romans, and am superior to rules of grammar!"
-Sigismund, Holy Roman Emperor (1368-1437)
Ok. I'm going to burn down the Sistine Chapel.
undo it.
So if I, say, cremate someone, who's the man that can undo this?
;)
Just a though.
C17H21NO4
they can't guarantee the 512 byte bootloader will be free of bugs... so they're hoping and praying that the super duper hardware is so obfuscated with a seriously weird state machine that no-one... even them, can figure how on earth it ever works...
Donald 'Duck' Dunn: We had a band powerful enough to turn goat piss into gasoline.
My boss learned a long time ago that the fastest way to get a hacker to do something is to tell them that it can't be done.
what's the difference between a light bulb and a pregnant woman?
You can unscrew a lightbulb.
Not everything can be undone.
So I guess the question is, will the XBOX 360 be more like a lightbulb or a pregnant woman?
Well that settles it, I'm telling my bank to give their next tech contract to Infinium.