What's On Your Tech Bench?

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Posted by ScuttleMonkey on Monday September 12, 2005 @10:03PM from the oh-to-have-an-unlimited-budget dept.

Twev1701 writes "As a small computer repair company that has seen enormous growth in the past few months, we are now looking to expand our facilities. With construction starting on our office space, we now turn to the task of designing a new tech bench. Our existing bench is 6'x3', has a dedicated 15" CRT, 4 port KVM, and overhead storage bins for parts. With a new bench of 12'x4', we have lots of room for expansion. What essentials would the /. community put on their new tech bench?"

24 of 530 comments (clear)

The essentials! by Blapto · 2005-09-12 22:06 · Score: 4, Funny

Apart from computers and cases of varying kinds, you need to remember your mini fridge! Don't forget the mini fridge!
1. Re:The essentials! by tomhudson · 2005-09-13 00:25 · Score: 4, Funny
  3 "tech benches".
  
  Junk that I haven't gotten around to putting in its place. Plus, Coffee machine, Franks "Red Hot" sauce, 2 cans of coffee (1 with coffee, 1 with dog food), clipboard for notes, spare parts for whatever is being worked on lately.
  
  Junk that I haven't gotten around to putting in its place. A couple of servers, spare parts, and (look UNDERNEATH - AGGG!) all sorts of shit. Parts, parts, parts. Boxes. WTF - Muriatic Acid!!! Oh, right - only safe place for it. About 50 cards (video, audio, capture, etc).
  
  Junk that I haven't gotten around to putting in its place. 21" monitor and spare box for "doing stuff". Photocopier.
  
  Desk - Junk that I haven't gotten around to putting in its place, crt and box, etc.
  
  But I can FIND stuff! Just last week I found some software I wrote last year that we were looking for last month (better late than never).
2. Re:The essentials! by ces · 2005-09-13 06:00 · Score: 3, Funny
  
  Code Red is red Mountain Dew with a somewhat different flavor.
  
  2. Mountain Dew and Code Red: sorry, I'm from Canuckistan (Canada to you'all :-) Our Mountain Dew is prohibited by law from containing caffeine (only allowed in colas). Cod Red? Never tried it, never will, thanks.
  
  No caffeine in Mountain Dew?! What kind of totalitarian hellhole has Canada turned into?
  
  --
  Happy Fun Ball is for external use only.
The essentials of desktop repair by Mishra100 · 2005-09-12 22:08 · Score: 5, Funny

Definitely make sure you have enough ground straps and a place to ground them to......

Because we ALL know 99% of techies out there ALWAYS use ground straps. A+ basics right there.
1. Re:The essentials of desktop repair by Slashcrap · 2005-09-12 22:33 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  Definitely make sure you have enough ground straps and a place to ground them to......
  
  And make sure you remove those damn safety resistors. They are for pussies who lack faith in their own abilities. It also helps to add back that element of excitement that is so often missing in today's workshops.
2. Re:The essentials of desktop repair by crashelite · 2005-09-12 23:33 · Score: 3, Funny
  
  oooo ooo throw in a Van de Graaff generator and then we have a nice little show... that is the only time i have seen static charge blow something (one of my teachers stood on a stool and was demenstrating and neglected to notice the electrical outlet right next to his lower exstremity... i was going to say something but he said for me to not question him.)
  
  --
  (yes i know i suck at spelling fell free to correct my grammar and/or spellin i dont care, im still not going to change
3. Re:The essentials of desktop repair by eggz128 · 2005-09-12 23:59 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  I have a friend, I'll call Sue, who I help out by fixing her computer whenever they she does something stupid to it. Which is often.
  
  Sue had been complaining for a while that her computer was slow. WinXP on a P3/600 128Mb isn't much fun :) So I figured out that she'd need PC700 Rambus ram (which as it happens ment that it would be cheaper and easier to just junk the thing and get a new one, but no, we can't do that). A couple of weeks later I get a call saying shes got the RAM and could I come over to fit it.
  
  On my arrival she proudly told me that she'd been going to evening classes, learning how to fix computers, and the instructor had given her some spare RAM that would work.
  
  Anyway, I opened up the case, and started to work my way through the wires looking for the RAM slots.
  
  "No," she yelped, "You've got to use an earthing strap, or you'll damage it". She then launched into a nice 5 minute long lecture on the dangers of static electricity (which she'd learnt all about the previous night).
  
  Ok, fine I'll wear the earthing strap. Although I'd already earthed myself by touching part of a near by radiator, this would save me any more earache.
  
  "Ok, I can see the slot. Could you pass me the stick of RAM now please?"
  
  Sue turned around, and picked up a nylon ruck sack. She unzipped the front of the ruck sack, rooted around inside for a bit, and then produced a single DIMM of PC66. Not in an antistatic bag, not in any kind of protection at all actually, from either physical damage or electrical damage. And covered in all sorts of whatever crap that was in the bottom of that ruck sack.
  
  "Sue, why am I wearing an antistatic strap if you're going to carry the ram about, unprotected, in something that generates more static than your average Van der f**king Graaf generator?"
  
  "Oh"
  
  "And thats not a Rambus RIMM like I told you to get. It's a DIMM. PC66."
  
  "Dave my instructor said it would work."
  
  "It won't even physically fit in the slot. Look, the notches are in different places."
  
  "But Dave said..."
  
  "Dave is an idiot."
  
  "Dave also gave me this to speed things up..."
  
  And with that, Sue reached back into the ruck sack, and produced a K6-2 processor. Also covered in crap, not in an anti static bag.
4. Re:The essentials of desktop repair by wfWebber · 2005-09-13 00:35 · Score: 2, Funny
  
  So, basically you're saying you don't need a Sue to repair a pc?
  
  --
  Never underestimate the bandwidth of a station wagon full of tapes hurtling down the highway. -- Andrew S. Tanenbaum
5. Re:The essentials of desktop repair by jonbusby · 2005-09-13 01:36 · Score: 2, Funny
  
  just make sure you buy one of the benches without the built-in sue.
6. Re:The essentials of desktop repair by fireboy1919 · 2005-09-13 01:51 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  grounded compressed air
  
  Its a good strategy to keep grounded compressed air on hand.
  
  While it's little known in the computer industry, the common use for grounded compressed air is for tire-air replacement (it gets stale). Its best to replace the air in your tires once either every 4-6 months, or when you change your blinker-light fluid.
  
  When using your grounded compressed air, its important to remember to stay away from electrical outlets. Normal air is an insulator, and therefore incapable of being a ground at all.
  Grounded compressed air is not, and as it drifts around it may randomly form an electrical path between things if it loses contact with the ground.
  
  Now please excuse me. I have to go rotate my hood ornament.
  
  --
  Mod me down and I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine!
7. Re:The essentials of desktop repair by tzanger · 2005-09-13 02:43 · Score: 2, Funny
  
  Sorry, but you're full of shit.
  
  Static discharge very very infrequently destroys sensitive components immediately. Generally you'll find that static discharge weakens the component (breakdown of the insulation layer in the MOS devices) and causes intermittents, which become less and less intermittent as the device is further subjected to static discharge.
  
  Now, having said that, when you're working on a PC you are generally touching the case and the case is generally plugged in to a grounded outlet, so you're almost always at or near the same potential as the case, which is generally at ground potential. Where you generally find problems is when the device or you is at different potentials (taking a video card or DIMM out of the gray antistatic bag and setting it down, then picking up the phone/dealing with a customer and coming back to it later without regrounding yourself) -- it's stupidly easy to build up several hundred volts of static potential, and that's not enough to really feel either.
  
  I've also been in the biz for over a decade... it's not as cut and dry as you suggest. Keeping your environment relatively humid and minimizing static producers (rubber shoes, carpet, etc.) goes a long way. ionizers also help.
8. Re:The essentials of desktop repair by bleckywelcky · 2005-09-13 04:14 · Score: 2, Funny
  
  The important question: Is Sue hot? If she is, just reinstall XP and ask her to get busy while the hard drive is formatting.
9. Re:The essentials of desktop repair by mollymoo · 2005-09-13 05:35 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  You know how it is, you have a few too many beers and gradually the chick with three ears, one eye and an OS/2 laptop with a broken floppy starts to look like Natalie Portman asking you to make the dock icons smaller on her PowerBook.
  
  --
  Chernobyl 'not a wildlife haven' - BBC News
An excuse calandar... by spammeister · 2005-09-12 22:09 · Score: 3, Funny

Just like the BOFH! In him we trust... http://www.theregister.co.uk/2003/08/11/802_11bofh /

--
I tried to think of a good sig, and this wasn't it.
Beer by Anonymous Coward · 2005-09-12 22:11 · Score: 1, Funny

Anything else is optional.
A naked woman... by BladeMelbourne · 2005-09-12 22:34 · Score: 2, Funny

A naked woman on a work bench - that's how real men get "the job" done :-)
A open Window... by Anonymous Coward · 2005-09-12 22:51 · Score: 1, Funny

Open windows are much more cost effective than closed windows when you throw the crap out of it.
Re:From my list of requirements for the ideal PCbe by snookums · 2005-09-12 23:06 · Score: 4, Funny

standardised personal tool harness for everybody. Power Screwdriver, small wrenches, bits, e-meter and maybe a headlamp/MiniMag with headstrap.

What on Earth do you want an e-meter on there for?

--
Be careful. People in masks cannot be trusted.
Re:From my list of requirements for the ideal PCbe by giverson · 2005-09-12 23:51 · Score: 2, Funny

Apparently you haven't studied the history of psychiatry.

--

Capitalism does not lead to corruption, lack of character does.
Coffee Maker by parasonic · 2005-09-13 00:22 · Score: 0, Funny

Gah! Why hasn't someone mentioned it yet? You absolutely have to have a coffee maker. It comes right after the Knoppix disc but before the binary clock. Shoot, I'm standing at our bench on Knoppix with a coffee maker between the machine that I'm on and the one that I'm installing OpenBSD on. Coffee maker is definitely a must-have.
Re:From my list of requirements for the ideal PCbe by bernywork · 2005-09-13 00:25 · Score: 3, Funny

Double checking their answers while they fill out the questionaire before you start work on their PC?

From: http://lotl.cc/humor.xs

1. Describe your problem:
2. Now, describe the problem accurately:
3. Speculate wildly about the cause of the problem:
4. Problem Severity:

1. Minor __
2. Minor __
3. Minor __
4. Trivial __

5. Nature of the problem:
1. Locked Up __
2. Frozen __
3. Hung __
4. Strange Smell __
6. Is Your Computer Plugged In? Yes_____ No______
7. Is It Turned On? Yes_____ No_____
8. Have you tried to fix it yourself? Yes_____ No_____
9. Have you made it worse? Yes_____ No_____
10. Have you had a "friend" who "Knows all about computers" try to fix it for you? Yes_____ No_____
11. Did they make it worse? Yes_____ No_____
12. Have you read the manual? Yes_____ No_____
13. Are you sure you've read the manual? Yes_____ No_____
14. Are you absolutely certain you've read the manual? Yes_____ No_____
15. If you read the manual, do you think you understood it? Yes_____ No_____
16. If 'yes', then explain why you can't fix the problem yourself?
17. What were you doing with your computer at the time the problem occurred?
18. If you answered 'nothing' then explain why you were logged in?
19. Are you sure you aren't imagining the problem? Yes_____ No_____
20. Does the clock on your home VCR blink 12:00? Yes_____ What's a VCR? _____
21. Do you have a copy of 'PCs for Dummies'? Yes_____ No_____
22. Do you have any independent witnesses to the problem? Yes_____ No_____
23. Do you have any electronics products that DO work? Yes_____ No_____
24. Is there anyone else you could blame this problem on? Yes_____ No_____
25. Have you given the machine a good whack on the top? Yes_____ No_____
26. Is the machine on fire? Yes_____ No_____ Not Yet_____
27. Can you do something else instead of bothering me? Yes_____ No_____

--
Curiosity was framed; ignorance killed the cat. -- Author unknown
Re:Test bench by bhiestand · 2005-09-13 01:38 · Score: 2, Funny

Also have a 29" tv mounted bar-style...

You had me at "I've got a kegerator in the corner, with the tap mounted 2' from my main PC's keyboard."

--
SWM seeks new sig for a brief fling
One thing I haven't seen in the comments by Anonymous Coward · 2005-09-13 07:26 · Score: 1, Funny

A calendar with bikini clad lovelies.
Emergency repair tool kit by hcdejong · 2005-09-14 00:03 · Score: 2, Funny

... which consists of a rabbit's foot, a magic wand, a crystal ball, and a hammer. A hand grenade is optional.

(from the Repair FAQ)