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EU, UN to Wrestle Internet Control From US
Anonymous Coward writes "The Guardian is reporting that the EU, obviously unimpressed with the US's refusal to relinguish control of the Internet, will be forming several comittees and forums with a mind to forcibly remove control of the Internet from the United States." From the article: "Old allies in world politics, representatives from the UK and US sat just feet away from each other, but all looked straight ahead as Hendon explained the EU had decided to end the US government's unilateral control of the internet and put in place a new body that would now run this revolutionary communications medium. The issue of who should control the net had proved an extremely divisive issue, and for 11 days the world's governments traded blows. For the vast majority of people who use the internet, the only real concern is getting on it. But with the internet now essential to countries' basic infrastructure - Brazil relies on it for 90% of its tax collection - the question of who has control has become critical."
Bush was just a couple years off... soon there *will* be "Internets".
Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum sonatur.
We are not giving up control of Gopherspace!
The battle for the future of the internets. And in the end, we will all be destroyed by the Chinese hackers. :)
Remember Barbar the Elephant? That's what the EU running the Internet looks like.
"I'd rather be a lightning rod than a seismometer." -Ken Kesey
Anytime your story ends with:
The internet will never be the same again.
You've already lost the battle against melodrama.
That was easy: Al Gore of course!
We should have pulled out of this idiotic thing [UN] a long time ago, and perhaps this will be the final straw
Maybe you should just obliterate the rest of the world so that there will be no problem after that with any foreign entity. What do you think?
Write boring code, not shiny code!
I'll have you know that Albert Gore, Jr. most certainly is an American citizen.
The United States will never relinquish control of the internets.
Bush? Is that you?
The US did invent the internet, and has always owned and controlled the root servers.
Well fine. I'll go invent my own internet, with hookers! And blackjack!
Al Gore invented the internet.
If you think imaginary property and real property are the same, when does your house become public domain?
Your ideas intrigue me and I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.
Oh dear me. What, if the EU decides to establish its own independent root servers, you're going to invade? Very funny.
Real Daleks don't climb stairs - they level the building.
The obvious solution is to put everyone on short horses.
Does your internet have a beer volcano too?
Not only did we invent and build it -- we paid for it. That doesn't entitle us to something?
The British got to define the Prime Meridian based on their global empire. Subsequently this has defined GMT.
Yes, and all other nations shake in fear of the power that control of time itself grants the British Empire.
You can't take the sky from me...
Thank goodness 99% of the Americans I know are fantastic people and don't live up to this stereotype. :)
I am assuming that the majority of Americans you know are not from internet message boards....
And All I Ask is a Tall Ship And a Star to Steer Her By
Say Hello to International Monitoring and Suppression (Chinese Model).
Say GoodBye to Slasdot.
Say Goodbye to Freedom of Expression.
I imagine the discussion went something like this:
Kofi: Now how do we blame this on W? Ayatolla got any Ideas?
Mugabe: We got the EU on board from pure nationalism, irrational fear and plain old hate for Americans. How can we expand on this to include national sovereignty?
Abbas: If we succeeed maybe next we'll be able to force territorial concessions. Isn't this Instant Messaging wonderful? My Al Qaeda brothers have been using for years to plot the wests destruction. Now that the invasion of Europe is well under way, taxing the Internet will make up for the loss of the Oil for Food business and allow us to begin new opportunities in South America. They hate Americans too.
Kofi: First thing on the agenda is to remove all references to "God"
Ayatolla: That doesn't include Allah does it?
Kofi: LOL! of course not!
or take away the horse's weed... But where's the fun in that?
We did, chap! (do British people still say chap?) It's called "American" and we say things like "flashlight" instead of "torch" because a torch has flames instead of a little bulb. ;)
Ummm, Jon, aren't you supposed to be dead...? - Otter(3800)
The United States invented the internet. If it wasn't for our funding, our know how, and our research, it simply would not exist. It is ours. WE MADE IT. The only reason other countries are connected to it is because they wanted to be. We didn't force anyone to connect to our network. They saw the benefits, and plugged in. As a previous poster said - Don't come to a party in our backyard and then start telling us how to do the landscaping. It would have been very easy for the other countries to create their own network. They could have created WWW-US (That's WWW minus US) and let everyone connect but us. That would be fine. Even now they could disconnect from the US and create their own network. But it's OUR PARTY. They're lucky we even gave them all their TLD's like co.uk and co.jp and all that junk. Ungrateful pricks. So yea, let's turn over control of the internet to the UN. The body of politicians and countries who has for so long done nothing about anything. Then they can pass all sorts of unenforcable sanctions and laws and rules regarding the internet that nobody will ever follow except the US (yea, we're the only ones who - for the most part - obey treaties and international laws). Screw the other countries. I hereby submit that we move the united states, brick by brick, to the moon. Furthermore, I submit that we disconnect immediately from the internet and see how the world likes WWW-US before they make any rash decisions. Furthermore, I submit that we pull ALL funding from any country participating in anti us controlled internet. So what if other countries depend heavily on the internet? That's their own fault. They made the decision to build their countries networks on a US controlled system. They could have just as easily built their own intranet. Idiots.
or else!
I thought that was what he meant by, "the only true political organization on this planet".
Maybe it was Santa Claus?
I don't think it was him, but somewhere in there I bet there was a fat guy with a long beard who dressed funny.
There are no loopholes. It's either legal or it's not.
But dicks also fuck assholes.
Laws do not persuade just because they threaten. --Seneca
There is at least one IHOP in Canada, therefore it IS "International".
That's next. The UN will attempt to 'force' control of IHOP. They can have my pancakes when they pry them from my cold dead fingers!
'I ain't a liar, baby, and I ain't proud I just want what I'm not allowed.' -- Violent Femmes, 36-24-36
Our prices are quite a bit higher than before we started the war.
Well, it didn't worked this time, but hey, you can just keep trying!
There must be other oil-rich countries out there that are making WMDs!
I mean, he invented the Internet.
Right?
What?
In A.D. 2005, war was beginning.
BUSH : What happen ?
ICANN : Somebody set up us the root
AMBASSADOR : We get signal
BUSH : What !!
BUSH : Main screen turn on
BUSH : Its you !!
E.U. : How are you gentlemen !!
E.U. : All your domain are belong to us
E.U. : You are on the way to destruction
BUSH : What you say !!
E.U. : You have no chance to survive make your time
E.U. : Ha ha ha ha ....
AMBASSADOR : President !!
BUSH : Take off every 'Zig'
BUSH : You know what you doing
BUSH : Move 'Zig'
BUSH : For great justice
RUMSFELD : THEY'RE CALLED F-16'S, DUMBASS
>And who did? Aliens? Certainly not the UN! I'm pretty sure it wasn't Russia, China, Japan, Mexico, South America, Canada, Europe, or Antartica. Maybe it was Santa Claus?
;)
Maybe the Internet started as a vast secretive US government network... oh wait...
-eventhorizon
#Secret Windows Source Code, in MS C% - if (uptime >= "24 hours") then bsod() else print "Windows License Violation!"