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MySQL To Be Ikea Of The Database Market

Posted by Zonk on from the where's-the-blue-boxes dept.

Rob wrote to mention an article discussing MySQL's intent to become 'the Ikea of databases'. From the piece: "While new entrants into the open source database market, such as EnterpriseDB and Pervasive Software, have made no secret of their intentions to chase Oracle's market share, Mr Mickos said MySQL is happy to leave them to it. 'We are thankful that they are there to define the market, there is no product if you're the only vendor,' he said. "Pervasive and EnterpriseDB are going up against Oracle. We don't want to be in that space, we don't want to take the heat from Oracle. If you're working in a zoo you don't want to be the one who has to brush the teeth of the lion.'"

22 of 242 comments (clear)

  1. Ikea, eh? by VitrosChemistryAnaly · · Score: 3, Funny

    Well then where my steaming plate of Swedish meatballs? Huh? Where are they?

    And how can I deck out my house in mid-century modern MySQL? I'd like to see that.

    Pfft, yet another tease.

    --
    "It's a tarp!" -- Dyslexic Admiral Ackbar
    1. Re:Ikea, eh? by SomeoneGotMyNick · · Score: 5, Funny

      And how can I deck out my house in mid-century modern MySQL? I'd like to see that.

      There's a large supply of tables to choose from. You even put them together yourself. Just name them Coffee, Kitchen, End, etc.

    2. Re:Ikea, eh? by computerdude33 · · Score: 3, Funny

      Ikea?

      Oh, you mean Pikea.

      --
      computerdude33's stuff: My blog of wonder.
  2. Does that mean... by drunkennewfiemidget · · Score: 5, Funny

    That every installation comes with an Allen key and crappy instructions?

    1. Re:Does that mean... by program21 · · Score: 2, Funny

      Not only crappy instructions, but products with minimal evidence of quality control? Database tables that wobble? I wonder what that would look like ...

      --
      This has been a test. Had this been a real emergency, we would have fled in terror and you would not have been informed.
    2. Re:Does that mean... by PeeAitchPee · · Score: 3, Funny

      I need tungsten to live . . . TUNGSTEN!!!!

    3. Re:Does that mean... by sakri · · Score: 3, Funny

      oh great, now my wife is gonna start nagging me about installing mysql??

  3. So Varients Will Have Nordic Names? by geoffrobinson · · Score: 3, Funny

    Do you want the Svansbo or the Dalsfor installation?

    --
    Except for ending slavery, the Nazis, communism, & securing American independence, war has never solved anything.
  4. Brushing the teeth of the lion? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    I think Mysql is cleaning up the donkey poop, myself.

  5. Re:Acknowledgement? by mmkkbb · · Score: 5, Funny

    No NO NO!

    PostgreSQL is the Pottery Barn of the Database market.
    McKoi and Cloudscape are Pier 1 and Crate and Barrel, respectively.

    --
    -mkb
  6. Is that a good thing? by jurgenaut · · Score: 5, Funny

    I would search through benchmarks and wonder, "What kind of database defines me as a person?" We used to read pornography. Now it was debug prints. I had it all. Even the opteron optimized version that can take over 2Gb / process, but it still maxes at 4Gb due to 32bit pointers - proof it were crafted by the honest, simple, hard-working indigenous peoples of wherever. I am Jack's wasted memory.

  7. "Ikea Of The Database Market" by MouseR · · Score: 2, Funny

    Expensive, hard to setup, crumbles after a couple of years?

  8. Re:Acknowledgement? by superid · · Score: 3, Funny

    Everybody makes fun of the poëpli databses....

  9. Re:No longer possible by bringmewater · · Score: 2, Funny

    Windows sucks !

  10. Ikea always makes me think of Fight Club now. by ChaseTec · · Score: 3, Funny

    You are not your relational database!

    --
    My Hello World is 512 bytes. But it's also a valid Fat12 boot sector, Fat12 file reader, and Pmode routine.
  11. Re:If mySQL is the IKEA of databases then... by rimmon · · Score: 2, Funny

    "Seriously though, IKEA is a store full of very interesting, but not entirely useful gadgets."
    Interesting but not entirely useful gadgets like, hmmmmm, beds, tables, chairs, couches, wardrobes, cupboards, kitchens, plates, forks, pots and pans, curtains, mirrors, carpets...? :)

  12. And of course... by superdan2k · · Score: 4, Funny
    ...there's going to be the renaming of the product with Swedish words that sound vaguely sexual in English:
    • Schloönge
    • Loob
    • Vügeena
    Ad nauseum...
    --
    blog |
  13. Wal-Mart of DBs? by doublem · · Score: 3, Funny

    So I guess this would make Microsoft SQL Server the Wal-Mart of Databases.

    It's the one a lot of people go to because they can't be bothered to shop around.

    (Please note, the above is intended as humor. I earn my living working with SQL Server, and happen to think it's a fine product, but there are a lot of products that use it because it's Microsoft and for no other reason.)

    Of course, all this begs the question, is Oracle the Target or the Sears of Databases?

    The Sears hardware and appliance lines make me suspect Oracle is the Sears, but Target is bigger than Sears, which would reflect Oracle's install base better.

    --
    "Live Free or Die." Don't like it? Then keep out of the USA
  14. The IKEA of database? by burtdub · · Score: 2, Funny

    UPDETE TEBLE SET Cuoontry = 'Sveden' VHERE Neme-a = 'Svedeesh Cheff';

  15. 'the Ikea of databases' by god64 · · Score: 1, Funny

    does he mean because of important features and tools missing or what?

  16. Re:Finally a group that "gets it" by spezz · · Score: 2, Funny
    K.I.S.S, in my book implies that you want to rock and roll all night.

    --
    come for the naked robots, stay for the zombies
  17. Great now we'll have Nofen Glocken Blop SQL trans by gmezero · · Score: 2, Funny

    We'll need to hire the Swedish Chef to figure out what the hell everything means now.