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Sonic Torpedo Defense
dylanduck writes "How do you defend a ship against torpedoes? According to the US Navy, you line the hull with loudspeakers and blast the incoming missile with such a devastating blast of sounds that it explodes." When asked about the possible ecological effects on marine life the military had no comment.
"This one goes to 11"
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We need to be cautious, as Britney Spears at 200db could have a devistating effect on the entire oceanic ecosystem.
Same thing happens to my brain whenever I hear some people speak.
Speaking is NOT communication
as if the explosions, leaking fuel, strong currents, and risk of nuclear waste exposure weren't enough, now marine wildlife have to deal with loud sounds! oh, the humanity!
Everyone on the ship will have all you can eat seafood for weeks.
Bonus if you get some giant squid.
2 years and no mod points. Join reddit. Because openness is good.
To get best results they need gold power cables at 1000 for each speaker :)
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I predict 3 types of comments
1. "Won't someone please think of the Whales!!??"
2. "I bet they'll be playing *insert flavour of the month popstar here* LOLS!!"
3. "REPOST!!!" (Regardless of whether this is a repost or not).
Cus there's no way that a torpedo exploding against the side of an Aegis cruiser might be a tad on the loud side too.
They should train dolphins and manatees to ram the torpedoes head on far enough away from the ship that no damage is done. Oh yeah, and some sea turtles to clear the way through mine infested waters!
"Well, they die....you stupid liberals..."
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When asked about the possible ecological effects on marine life the military had no comment.
:)
I think the whole point is to protect the lives of the marines on the ships.
RandomAndInteresting.comdefending the world from stupidity since 1979
Of course they had no comment, because the intention is to stop the dolphins with dartguns on their head!
"Scientists have proof without certainty; Creationists have certainty without proof" -Ashley Montagu
The possible ecological effects? Only liberal leftist red-commie gay pinko tree-hugger types would ask such a rediculous question, or even care. We're talking about saving the lives of human beings, but of course humans serve no purpose other than polluting and ruining the ecosystem of an otherwise perfect world, so they should be killed, right? Especially those red-blooded patriotic American military humans -- they're the worst kind, you know!
Never mind that the torpedo exploding would make a lot of noise, too, but so long as we can kill some humans in the process, that's an acceptable trade-off, right? Yeah, we get it: animals good, people bad.
You people are sick. My better idea is to strap together a bunch of liberals and line the perimiters of the ships with them to server as a cushion/barrier. Let the libs give their lives in the process of "saving the wales" if they really believe in that so much. If the libs think its such a good idea to sacrifice human beings in order to save the precious ecosystem, let it be the libs who are sacrificed!
Using phased acoustics to destroy kidney stones was a pretty revolutionary medical breakthrough. The previous best way of getting rid of them was by launching torpedoes up the urethra...
Windows Tweaks
...we use the Britney on 'em this time Capt'n
If they have devices that emit sound waves powerful enough to travel through water and trigger a torpedo imagine what it would do in air. No doubt the next Command and Conquer will feature an Accoustic Tank.
Hook up your speaker to Micheal Jackson, at lower volume, that you're having a party, the whales and dolphins will get the message and go away.
When asked the question a second time the military man looked up and said loudly "what, did you say something?"
Oh, right. Because we would *hate* to have a loud noise in the ocean instead of thousands of gallons of fuel oil or a ruptured nuclear reactor from a sunk ship.
Brought to you by the same retards who nixed nuclear power for environmental reasons, forcing the country to depend on burning coal.
I, for one, hope that the sound that is used is the opening of the "Ride of the Valkyries." Scares the hell out of the gooks.