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Humans Could Live For 1000 Years

Posted by Zonk on from the i'll-sign-up-for-that dept.

Maajid wrote to mention an article on the Chronicle of Higher Education site about a biogerontologist who thinks he can kill death. From the article: "The 42-year-old English biogerontologist has made his name by claiming that some people alive right now could live for 1,000 years or longer. Maybe much longer. Growing old is not, in his view, an inevitable consequence of the human condition; rather, it is the result of accumulated damage at the cellular and molecular levels that medical advances will soon be able to prevent -- or even reverse -- allowing people to go on living pretty much indefinitely. We'll still have to worry about angry bears and falling pianos, but aging, the biggest killer of all, will cease to be a threat. Death, as we know it, will die."

10 of 156 comments (clear)

  1. How many times... by Chuckstar · · Score: 3, Funny

    How many times do you think you'd be able to say "B.S." in 1000 years.

  2. Got more to worry about than disease, Old Age by Marxist+Hacker+42 · · Score: 3, Funny

    In 500 years, you've got a 100% chance of being struck by a bus.

    --
    SJW: a person who perceives an injustice, and while correcting it, commits a greater injustice.
    1. Re:Got more to worry about than disease, Old Age by Scrameustache · · Score: 2, Funny

      In 500 years, you've got a 100% chance of being struck by a bus.

      Ah, you too have foreseen the murderous roboBus revolt of 2505!
      The horror...

      --

      You can't take the sky from me...

  3. overpopluation by uberjoe · · Score: 2, Funny

    I just had a vasectomy, sign me up!

    --

    The days of the digital watch are numbered.

  4. Re:For me and mine by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    It seemed to work for the elves.

  5. It's simple... by Ibiwan · · Score: 2, Funny
    I've found a simple solution to rid us of death forever! I can't believe nobody's ever found it! Unfortunately it's a little to long to jot down in this margin, but I'll type up the paper in a couple hours. I've been feeling so streesed late....

    HEEEURK! bleaugh...

    --
    -- //no comment
    1. Re:It's simple... by ColaMan · · Score: 4, Funny

      MAYNARD: It reads, [reading] "`I've been feeling so streesed late....HEEEURK! bleaugh...'"
      ARTHUR: What?
      MAYNARD: [reading] "HEEEURK! bleaugh..."
      BEDEVERE: What is that?
      MAYNARD: He must have died while typing it.
      LAUNCELOT: Oh, come on!
      MAYNARD: Well, that's what it says.
      ARTHUR: Look, if he was dying, he wouldn't bother to type 'bleaugh'. He'd just say it!
      MAYNARD: Well, that's what he posted!
      GALAHAD: Perhaps he was dictating.
      ARTHUR: Oh, shut up.

      --

      You are in a twisty maze of processor lines, all alike.
      There is a lot of hype here.
  6. Great.... by crotherm · · Score: 2, Funny


    That also means that they will be married to their "ball and chain" wives for 970 years. Have in-laws for that long too. And just how long will your slashdot reading, basement dwelling kids stay with you... gads...

    But on the bright side, I fully expect to play Duke Nukem Forever....

    --
    "Those who make peaceful revolution impossible, make violent revolution inevitable" - JFK
  7. joke-remake by gyepi · · Score: 2, Funny

    "Death will die" - Aubrey de Grey.

    "Aubrey de Grey will die" - Death.

    --
    Attitudes make the difference between Space and Time: we want to MAX our temporal, and MIN our spatial extension.
  8. Netcraft confirms it. by Polo · · Score: 2, Funny

    Netcraft confirms it - Death is dying.