Scientists Complete Map of Human Genetic Variation

UltimaGuy writes "A major scientific step in the field of genetics is set to speed up the search for the causes of common illnesses ranging from heart disease and cancer to Alzheimer's and asthma. Scientists have mapped patterns of tiny DNA differences that distinguish one person from another, a step that will speed up the search for genes that promote common illnesses such as heart disease and diabetes."

Comments

AGCT

[umbrellasd]

(Scene: a police line-up.)

(Enter: the usual suspects.)

(From a speaker)

AAAAGGUATCUCGCUAGCUAUTCGGGCA...GTAC, please step forward!

(Suspects look around in confusion.)

(The third suspect tenatively steps forward.)

(From a speaker)

I said AAAAGGUATCUCGCUAGCUAUTCGGGCA...GTAC, AAAAGGUATCUCGCUAGCUAUTCGGGCA...GTAT! Get back in the line-up.

(AAAAGGUATCUCGCUAGCUAUTCGGGCA...GTAT shuffles back into the line-up.)

(The suspects look around in apprehensively and glance furtively at each other.)

Obligatory...

[RavenChild]

99.9% of your genes are belong to everyone!

Design...?

[GaryPatterson]

So, did they find the bit where God signed his name and copyrighted it?

(c) God, 5800BC
The author asserts His moral rights over this work.
Resemblence to all persons in history is expressly intentional.

For Ethel.

Re:Design...?

[Oxen]

I saw this cartoon the other day. It is a classified ad on God's computer, with Him pushing the submit button.

The text reads:
Designer Wanted
Full-time position (6 days/week; 24 hours/day). Must be intelligent. Must be able to conceive and manufacture organisms and genetically modify 5000 species a minute. Fabricate evidence of evolutionary adaptation and carelessly cast said product about while transforming living organisms in an increasingly complex and generally miraculous manner. Must be detail oriented and create non-redundant internal networks of varying complexity in species with intriguingly systematic (but actually random) appearance. Proficiency in message encryption highly desirable. Salary to be determined according to evangelistic vigor of followers. Benefits include Medical, Dental, Immortality, Omnipotence, Dissolution of Science as a discipline, Disease, Pestilence, Famine, Destruction of the Earth.

I think someone at my work made it and posted it up (I work at a research facility), but it is hilarious.

For what it's worth...

[Create an Account]

I have also: totaled three cars in crashes, been hit by a car while riding a bicycle, cracked my sternum in a freak lawn mowing accident, and overdosed on aspirin when I was 4. I cracked both shoulder blades by falling out of a tree when I was 6, got attacked by monkeys (twice), and I've been hit by lightning.

I'm 38, and I haven't died yet. I'm pretty sure I'm immortal.

Re:For what it's worth...

[shitdrummer]

Dude, can't you take a hint... :) Just kidding.

God: Dang, missed again. Can't 841457 (because they use Slashdot userID's in Heaven) just stand still for a while?
Angel: Sir, you've got to hold the L1 button to auto-aim.
God: Oh, I've been holding R1.
Angel: No, that's your special attack button.
God: What's my special attack then?
Angel: Hurricanes!
God: Oh. Oops, my bad.

Shitdrummer

Re:Genetic Discrimination

[Frogbert]

Yes if there was only some way that everyone could pay a fixed amount out of their income and have it fund healthcare for everyone. A "public" health system if you will. What an idea!! I've got to patent that asap.

Re:Patented

[techno-vampire]

If you can write a digit followed by 6 zeroes in that checkbook, you're A-OK!

Oh, I could write a check right now and if would cure my Type II diabetes I would. Of course, there's no chance that check would clear the bank, but so what? I'd already be cured!

Stop.

[mctk]

You had me at "freak lawn mowing accident."

So what about my kids?

[schattenteufel]

...assuming I ever MAKE any kids, will they be able to figure out why I was born with 12 toes & zap that, so it doesn't get passed on?

Re:Genetic Discrimination

[Trifthen]

Naw. We'll just use gene therapy to change the variations in any direction we want. Someday, those Penis Enlargement pills will actually work; unfortunately your spam filter will protect you from this amazing enhancement in medical science. :(

Re:If there ever was...

[peragrin]

I think this is were being stuck with the obtuse P4 is going to hurt us. We have special processors for Graphics, and now physics. will one day we have a chip designed to speed up the math needed for this.

Is IBM's cell processors expandable to more than just vector co-processors? Say maybe a GPU, a PPU, and now BPU or two of each?