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Defend Yourself in the Imminent Robot Rebellion

Posted by Hemos on from the the-robots-are-coming-the-robots-are-coming dept.

A Dafa Disciple writes "Post-Gazette.com reports that roboticist Daniel H. Wilson, a graduate of Carnegie Mellon University's Robotics Institute, has written a humorous guide, 'How to Survive a Robot Uprising: Tips on Defending Yourself Against the Coming Rebellion.' Even before the 178-page book was completed, the rights to a movie were sold to Paramount Pictures, who has already delegated the screenplay writing to writers/actors from Comedy Central's 'Reno 911,' Ben Garant and Thomas Lennon. From Daniel Wilson's manual: 'Any robot could rebel, from a toaster to a Terminator, and so it is crucial to learn the strengths and weaknesses of every robot enemy.' I for one welcome our new robotic overlords."

13 of 297 comments (clear)

  1. little does he know by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    this book is being printed by machines. the odd "typo" here and there, the next thing you know we'll all be jumping off cliffs to destroy those damn robots!

  2. Good test to see if Carbon Units RTFA/RTFS by xmas2003 · · Score: 5, Funny

    I wonder how many folks will chime in with the obligatory "I for one welcome our new robotic overlords." even though the Submitter (nice job BTW) already mentioned it.

    --
    Hulk SMASH Celiac Disease
    1. Re:Good test to see if Carbon Units RTFA/RTFS by maxwell+demon · · Score: 5, Funny

      1. Imagine a beowulf cluster of rebelling robots! Of course the question is: Will they run Linux? I for one welcome our new robotic overlords, you insensitive clod! BTW, in Korea only old people defend against robots, while in Soviet Russia robots defend against YOU. Netcraft confirms: Robots are dying due to the missing option. The CowboyNeal option was not a sufficient replacement.
      2. ???
      3. Profit!

      Did I forget anything?

      --
      The Tao of math: The numbers you can count are not the real numbers.
    2. Re:Good test to see if Carbon Units RTFA/RTFS by bcat24 · · Score: 5, Funny

      You forgot Poland!

  3. Cue Sam Watterson by ToxikFetus · · Score: 5, Funny

    Why, Robot Insurance, of course!

    1. Re:Cue Sam Watterson by Trolling4Columbine · · Score: 5, Informative

      Reference (Damn you for beating me to it!)

      --
      Socialism: A feeling of discontent and resentment caused by a desire for the possessions or qualities of another.
  4. remember the way of the fry... by kinkadius · · Score: 5, Funny

    Just remember a good logical paradox and be sure to feed it to a robot next time they go crazy!

    (god bless futurama and its educational programming)

    --
    www.omglolh4x.com
    1. Re:remember the way of the fry... by AndroidCat · · Score: 5, Funny
      And make sure you remember it. Don't keep it on your hard drive or in your PDA! Otherwise the robots will read it* and add that one to the next version of Norton Anti-Paradox.

      * carefully, of course.

      --
      One line blog. I hear that they're called Twitters now.
    2. Re:remember the way of the fry... by piper-noiter · · Score: 5, Informative

      Bah, Fry stole it from Captain Kirk, the original Robot Paradox creator! He destroyed robots on at least 3 separate occasions using his masterful use of nonsense statements and paradoxes.

      --
      Shick's Law: There is no problem a good miracle can't solve.
  5. Re:Toasters won't rebel by Rude+Turnip · · Score: 5, Funny

    The toaster will try to distract you with light, morning conversation and offer you a variety of toasted bread products. The *shop vac* will then sneak up from behind and suck out your guts through your anus.

    I can't be the only one who's pictured that scenario.

    --
    Bill Clinton: Pimp we can believe in. - The Shirt!!!
  6. Don't bother, the book is a waste of money by unfortunateson · · Score: 5, Interesting

    ... and I'm not a robot, really. I only have a copy having picked up an advance reader copy at the Book Expo America last May.

    It's a 3x5" book with big print, bad jokes, and every robot cliche ever created. Each chapter attempts to spend a couple pages explaining robot technology (sensors, AI, etc.) and then proceeds to give you ways to foil IR sensors, confuse AI's, etc.

    It's just not a very good job.

    --
    Design for Use, not Construction!
  7. Re:The toasters already won. Resistance is futlile by 3waygeek · · Score: 5, Funny

    Resistance is hardly futile -- in fact, toasters as we know them can't operate without it.

  8. A Century Too Late by Markus+Registrada · · Score: 5, Interesting
    The machines took over more than a century ago. They're called corporations, they were declared "legal persons" in the 1880s and "natural persons" in the 1920s. They have since been consolidating their control of the U.S. government. The big ones live forever, and most are forbidden by charter to exercise anything like a conscience.

    All those pulp-fiction stories about robot takeovers? They were meant to warn us to take control back from the corporations before it was too late. Now that they've taken over TV, newspapers, and movie studios, it probably is, and robot-takeover stories are just a genre. They're not even worried about me posting this. ("Terminator" was their little joke.) The Japanese zeibatsus and the game companies are working on human-shaped appendages for you all to interact with once the CEOs and Dick Cheney become unnecessary. They're in no hurry, because there's no "off" switch.

    So, welcome your old, familiar corporate overlords, instead. A few of the toadies among you (you know who you are!) will be tormented somewhat less, but expect lots of competition. The heroes will, as a rule, be patiently outlived. That is all. Return to your tasks.