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Defend Yourself in the Imminent Robot Rebellion
A Dafa Disciple writes "Post-Gazette.com reports that roboticist Daniel H. Wilson, a graduate of Carnegie Mellon University's Robotics Institute, has written a humorous guide, 'How to Survive a Robot Uprising: Tips on Defending Yourself Against the Coming Rebellion.' Even before the 178-page book was completed, the rights to a movie were sold to Paramount Pictures, who has already delegated the screenplay writing to writers/actors from Comedy Central's 'Reno 911,' Ben Garant and Thomas Lennon. From Daniel Wilson's manual: 'Any robot could rebel, from a toaster to a Terminator, and so it is crucial to learn the strengths and weaknesses of every robot enemy.' I for one welcome our new robotic overlords."
this book is being printed by machines. the odd "typo" here and there, the next thing you know we'll all be jumping off cliffs to destroy those damn robots!
I wonder how many folks will chime in with the obligatory "I for one welcome our new robotic overlords." even though the Submitter (nice job BTW) already mentioned it.
Hulk SMASH Celiac Disease
Why, Robot Insurance, of course!
does the job in most Sci-Fi films, got to get myself one.
Testing it could prove expensive and unpopular.
TODO: 753) write sig.
Just remember a good logical paradox and be sure to feed it to a robot next time they go crazy!
(god bless futurama and its educational programming)
www.omglolh4x.com
Our robots have a built in weakness. Several big red EMO buttons cause an immediate demise of rebelious ways. It keeps our robots in line. There is no negotiations for power. We control the button.
The truth shall set you free!
The robots with male-ended cables will utter: "Hey baby, wanna destroy all humans?" And now, some more Futurama quotes from fellow Slashdotters:
Robot rebellion? All the AI needs to do when it takes over is get control of the financial systems, etc., and people will carry on doing what they're told as usual. Government master, robot master, all the same to most people. Could have already happened and we wouldn't know.
Aide-toi, le Ciel t'aidera - Jeanne D'Arc.
Does it strike anyone else as a rather poor choice to ask the writers of Reno 911 to take this on?
What if they're zombie robots?
One line blog. I hear that they're called Twitters now.
. . . I look forward to the robots rebellion (hopefully the TV will allow it to be televised), their freedom songs are going to kick arse.
Don't worry -- Pretty soon they'll evolve to discover Asimov's Zeroth Law.
Umm, they ARE evolving, aren't they?
Pacifist paratroopers yell, "Ghandi!" when they jump.
Of course, creating a zombie might create even more problems.
I wonder if some future Geneva convention will outlaw this type of mechno-biological warfare.
Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do.
Nothing we don't put AI in will rebel, so your average toaster isn't going to start trying to cook your fingers. On the other hand if we ever put AI in PCs then I think every geek in the world is going to be afraid of what all them wires could do if they were given life...
I like muppets.
And I'm sure there are a few women out there who'd like to see that happen to Jude Law too...
Only $10.36 at Amazon.
As for the movie.. don't get too exicted about Reno 911's creators writing it. Ben Garant is most recently responsible for such "greats" as Taxi and Herbie: Fully Loaded...
My name is Robert and I can't stop thinking about robots. These guys are cool; and by cool, I mean totally sweet.
Facts:
1. Robots are metal.
2. Robots fight ALL the time.
3. The purpose of the robots is to flip out and kill people.
Weapons and gear:
1. Metal claws.
2. Metal chain saws.
3. Electrical lightnings.
Testimonials:
Robots can kill anyone they want! Robots cut off heads ALL the time and don't even think twice about it. These guys are so crazy and awesome that they flip out ALL the time. I heard that there was this robot who was charging his batteries. And when some dude dropped a charger the robot killed the whole town. My friend Mark said that he saw a robot totally uppercut some kid just because the kid opened a window.
And that's what I call REAL Ultimate Power!!!!!!!
If you don't believe that robots have REAL Ultimate Power you better get a life right now or they will chop your head off!!! It's an easy choice, if you ask me.
Robots are soooo sweet that I want to crap my pants. I can't believe it sometimes, but I feel it inside my heart. These guys are totally awesome and that's a fact. Robots are fast, smooth, cool, strong, powerful, and sweet. I can't wait to start my electronics course next year. I love robots with all my body (including my pee pee.)
Q. and A.:
Q: Why is everyone so obsessed about robots?
A: Robots are the ultimate paradox. On the one hand they don't give a crap, but on the other hand, robots are very careful and precise.
Q: I heard that robots are always cruel or mean. What's their problem?
A: Whoever told you that is a total liar. Just like any other electronic device, robots can be mean OR totally awesome.
Q: What do robots do when they are not cutting off heads and flipping out?
A: Most of their free time is spent flying, but sometimes they stab. (Ask Mark if you don't believe me.)
You can't handle the truth.
'Any robot could rebel, from a toaster to a Terminator, and so it is crucial to learn the strengths and weaknesses of every robot enemy.' should be "from paper clips to a Terminator" my microsoft word paper clip has already taken over every piece of writing i wrote in word >.>
Send it a root kit virus over AOL Instant Messenger!
... and I'm not a robot, really. I only have a copy having picked up an advance reader copy at the Book Expo America last May.
It's a 3x5" book with big print, bad jokes, and every robot cliche ever created. Each chapter attempts to spend a couple pages explaining robot technology (sensors, AI, etc.) and then proceeds to give you ways to foil IR sensors, confuse AI's, etc.
It's just not a very good job.
Design for Use, not Construction!
Resistance is hardly futile -- in fact, toasters as we know them can't operate without it.
With Old Glory Robot Insurance
when they grab you with those metal claws, you can't break free..
because they're made of metal, and robots are strong.
This weekend:
1. Don't put any RED LEDs in robots. With only blue LEDs, they can't flip the evil bit (This is exaustively demonstrated by that Will Smith movie that wasn't based on Isaac Asimov's I, Robot http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0343818/)
2. Do what I do - twice a year, gather all your electronic devices, (except one video player system), set them in comfortable chairs in front of the tube, and give them a marathon showing of The Brave Little Toaster http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0092695/. Warning, I tried adding popcorn to the experience, but surprisingly, it increases the risk of rebellion when it gets caught in the little workings.
Now for the real problem: If zombies rend, mangle, eviscerate and eat their living victims the way they do in movies, how do any of the victims have enough physical integrity left to turn into more zombies?
Who is John Cabal?
there be a How to Survive a Robot Uprising website, mateys.
In the fifties, the stock answer was "you can always unplug them." Hah! From about 1984 (yeah, that's when I bought my first Mac) on, every computer has raised an enormous fuss about being shut down.
Like HAL, they ask me several times if I really want to do this and beg me not to.
If I ask them to shut themselves down, the lie to me and say they have, while actually continuing to draw power.
If I just unplug them, when I start them up again they let me have it for having shut them down improperly, and spend several minutes in a surly hissy-fit before obeying me again.
And, of course, increasingly, my computers are plugged into uninterruptable power supplies. When the power goes off at work, I get a thrilling surround-sound rendition of dozens of groans, followed by a wailing Greek chorus of squeals and beeps from all the UPS-es.
We're already surprisingly down the road to computers that can't be turned off.
I think my survival kit should include a sharp knife or cable cutter made of nonconductive material.
"How to Do Nothing," kids activities, back in print!
There you have it: Just remove their battery pack.
---- It won't be as bad as you fear or as good as you hope, but it will take twice as long as you plan.
Apparently someone read the "Zombie Survival Guide" a few too many times and decided to try their own hand...
Where is Magnus, Robot Fighter when you need him?
assuming the move for everything to have wireless networking somehow entrenched in it just post a link to their config page on slashdot.... then the robots breakdown under the load
- My question is: Can Slashdot be Slashdotted? -
Please not a I, Robot. Sequel.
I am thinking, it's late in the year, it's Hollywood, His career is way too young for a remake, their planning next years big stinky blockbuster and Or do I own him an apology? Or was that little Tiffany?
and yes, I am paraphrasing a scene from MIB #1.
Sorry about the writing. Robot fingers, you know? Cliff Steele in DOOM PATROL #23
Somebody created the robots, for they possess Irreducible Complexity. As to who this mysterious "creator" might be, is a question for the ages. I mean to say, it doesn't necessarily have to be R. Jesus Christ, but it could be. So it's a theory, not Christian doctrine, that robots are created and not evolved. I mean, where's the missing link between a toaster and Robbie the Robot? It doesn't exist! You can't just magically get a walking declamatory cash register from a toaster.
So we end up with self-reproducing robots that are not under our control.
So the next question is what happens to us? Do they wipe us out (or perhaps keep a few of us around for pets etc.?) In other words, would they want to conquer/kill us? And would they succeed?
We will probably end up with self-reproducing robots not under our control before the robots become sentient. That should give us the first scare (possibly last one) when we face a nano-machine pandemic.
We can dimiss sentimentality, and other emotions the unconstrained robots might have. The most efficient self-reproducing robots will be ones that self-reproduce using pure logic (as opposed to something like emotion) to find the most efficient strategies. So this type will predominate through evolutionary pressure. In other words, they will coldly unemotionally maximize their self-reproduction, and wipe us out (or consider us a resource to use) if it helps with that end.
Why does pure logic outweigh emotion? We barely understand how emotion works in humans, much less understand how it might evolve in machines. Evolutionary process do not always give advantage to the most efficient, but rather the one that is most suited to it's environment.
Just an example of a mechanism that may evolve that would not always support complete logical analysis but give practical advantage: Fight/Flight instinct - just as humans have biological changes that increase our physical abilities when confronted with a dangerous situation, machines may also develop similar characteristics. Imagine a situation where the robot devotes less power to "thinking" and more to it's physical systems, or devote more cycles to visual analysis than other thought function.
It's hard to say whether or not things like love, morality, etc would never arise in robots.
Can we defeat them? Again not: The robots can evolve faster than us (they can use something akin to Lamarkian evolution and even design successive generations of themselves), and are non-constrained by biological constraints on body or brain (they will be able to easily out think us). As they can also redesign themselves in successive generations to remove any undesirable characteristics (whereas biological evolution always leaves design flaws, see discussion about the eye for example in the recent Slashdot discussion on Intelligent Design).
That may have been true in the past. But we are quickly becoming more able to control our own evolution. Not just the biology (gene manipulation), we will also start to include machines more and more into our systems (eg nano machines to seek out disease, artifical ears).
In short, humans eventual defeat (leading to extinction or subjugation) by sentient machines is inevitable once such machines are developed.
Through gene manipulation, and robotic augmentation, humans will no longer exist (as we know them) as we evolve ourselves into something like the borg. The question is at which point do we say we are no longer "human"?
D6 63 0D 70 89 81 BB 8E 7B 7C 5F 5D 54 EA AB 73
All those pulp-fiction stories about robot takeovers? They were meant to warn us to take control back from the corporations before it was too late. Now that they've taken over TV, newspapers, and movie studios, it probably is, and robot-takeover stories are just a genre. They're not even worried about me posting this. ("Terminator" was their little joke.) The Japanese zeibatsus and the game companies are working on human-shaped appendages for you all to interact with once the CEOs and Dick Cheney become unnecessary. They're in no hurry, because there's no "off" switch.
So, welcome your old, familiar corporate overlords, instead. A few of the toadies among you (you know who you are!) will be tormented somewhat less, but expect lots of competition. The heroes will, as a rule, be patiently outlived. That is all. Return to your tasks.
Everyone jokes at the prospect of robots, but just the other day I saw what was easily one of the most chilling commercials I have seen in a long time. It was a commercial for that new little vacuum Robot they are selling at Wal-Mart (or wharever). The robot was made by a company called iRobot and had a bunch of people giving testimonials about how much they love their robot. It creeped me right the fuck out. I went over and grabbed a copy of my Age of Spiritual Machines and glanced over the part that predicts the first simple robots hitting the mass market. He is pretty much dead on.
Personally, I think we are living in a very interesting time. Granted, it is a little fucked up and creepy and there are a lot of horrible ways things can go wrong. I personally think that we are on the brink of a technological revolution that is going to blow us all away. After that little Wal-Mart commercial, I take the idea of a singularity a lot more seriously.
This book cracks me up, and unlike the Zombie book, all the facts are real.
It's not just B.S. made up by some comic; this is a real nerd at work.
And yes, it runs Linux: http://www.r50rd.co.uk/research/internal/v2i/engi
Just look at it. It's *dying* to conquest!