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Novell to Release 20% of Their Employees?

Posted by ScuttleMonkey on from the should-have-worked-for-the-oil-company dept.

sicariusdracus writes to tell us that Ron Hovsepian, the new president and COO of Novell may have his hands full in the near future. Ron has been tasked with getting the troubled business back on track which many have speculated could result in more than 20% of the 5,800 man workforce getting a pink slip (although Hovsepian suggests that may be an over exaggeration). Part of the restructuring will be announced with Novell's fourth-quarter financial results.

9 of 206 comments (clear)

  1. Act I by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Smithers: Mr. Hovsepian there's some solicitors at your door to see you.
    Hovsepian: Release the employees.

  2. released by specialkp · · Score: 5, Funny

    I sure hope they're released under the GPL... It's good to see companies like this releasing human resources though. I'm going to download some today! Anyone got a torrent?

  3. release... oh good, finally released... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Wait a minute, are you saying we're FIRED?

    I have such a hard time with this Newspeak.

    1. Re:release... oh good, finally released... by idlake · · Score: 4, Funny

      Actuall, we programmers try to think of it as "allocation", "freeing", and "releasing". So, no, they haven't been "fired", they have been "freed".

    2. Re:release... oh good, finally released... by Otter · · Score: 4, Funny

      I suppose it beats working at Sun and getting "garbage collected"...

      --
      What I'm listening to now on Pandora...
  4. Released... by ch-chuck · · Score: 5, Funny

    Lets just say they've been "open sourced". 1160 people liberated, people want to be free.

    But not me, I'm expensive.

    --
    try { do() || do_not(); } catch (JediException err) { yoda(err); }
  5. So It Is True! by Comatose51 · · Score: 4, Funny
    20% of the 5,800 man workforce getting a pink slip

    So it is true! There really are no women in IT!

    I kid, I kid.

    --
    EvilCON - Made Famous by /.
  6. Re:Stocks? by tonyr60 · · Score: 4, Funny

    SGI's are even cheaper....

  7. They're object oriented by vadim_t · · Score: 4, Funny

    foreach NovellWorker Worker in CurrentlyHired {
            if( Worker.TooOld || Worker.EarnsTooMuch || Worker.HatedByBobInAccounting ) {
                  Worker.Release();
                  Worker.Dispose();
            }
    }