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German IT Outfit Bans Whining

Posted by ScuttleMonkey on from the one-more-moan-and-yer-out dept.

theodp writes "German IT outfit Nutzwerk Ltd has come up with the perfect solution to whining in the workplace - it's made cheerfulness a contractual obligation, advising those who don't measure up to the prescribed level of jollity in the morning to stay at home until they cheer up. The plan was prompted by a female employee whose constant complaining prompted the other staff to complain about her complaining."

13 of 320 comments (clear)

  1. Movie quote time. by suso · · Score: 5, Funny

    Mayor of New York: "Being miserable and treating other people like dirt is every New Yorker's God-given right."

  2. Oh good by geoffeg · · Score: 5, Funny

    Next, they'll require employees to wear flair! 20 pieces "minimum"..

    The beatings will continue until morale improves!

  3. dangerous territory by MetalliQaZ · · Score: 5, Funny

    Might as well ban women in the workplace.

    -d

    --
    "Here Lies Philip J. Fry, named for his uncle, to carry on his spirit"
    1. Re:dangerous territory by jzeejunk · · Score: 5, Funny

      slashdotters don't have women at their workplaces anyway ;) and you being a slashdotter don't know enough about women to make that claim

      --
      sarchasm
    2. Re:dangerous territory by Macgrrl · · Score: 3, Funny

      slashdotters don't have women at their workplaces anyway ;) and you being a slashdotter don't know enough about women to make that claim

      Looks down front of shirt.... Cleavage, CHECK; Breast count equals 2.

      I'm fairly sure I'm a woman, I was when I got up this morning....

      --
      Sara
      Designer, Gamer, Macgrrl in an XP World
    3. Re:dangerous territory by Macgrrl · · Score: 4, Funny

      Women have balls - we just wear them higher :)

      --
      Sara
      Designer, Gamer, Macgrrl in an XP World
  4. Don't take my stapler! by mishehu · · Score: 3, Funny

    Obligatory Office Space Quote:

    "Sounds like somebody's got a case of the Mondays"...

  5. Like my Dad used to say: by Anne+Thwacks · · Score: 5, Funny

    "Enjoy yourself or I'll beat you!"

    --
    Sent from my ASR33 using ASCII
  6. Sketch by Dante+Shamest · · Score: 3, Funny

    Artist's Sketch of the Female Employee

  7. But... by ksandom · · Score: 4, Funny

    But WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYyyyyyyy???? ;-)

    --
    Funnyhacks - Wierd, unusual, and fun hacks
  8. Python quote time by Hope+Thelps · · Score: 5, Funny

    Once upon a time, long, long ago, there lay in a valley far, far away in the mountains the most contented kingdom the world has ever known. It was called Happy Valley, and it was ruled over by a wise old king called Otto. And all his subjects flourished and were happy, and there were no discontents or grumblers, because wise King Otto had had them all put to death, along with the trade union leaders, many years before. And all the happy folk of Happy Valley sang and danced all day long, and anyone who was for any reason miserable or unhappy or who had any difficult personal problem was prosecuted under the Happiness Act.

    Happy Valley

    --
    To summarise the summary of the summary: people are a problem. ~ h2g2
  9. Yeah, uh... by Luigi30 · · Score: 5, Funny

    I can't come into work today. I'm not happy enough. I might not be able to come in for the rest of the week.

    --
    503 Sig Unavailable

    The Signature could not be accessed. Please try again later or contact the administrator
  10. From a recent session of Paranoia by j0nb0y · · Score: 3, Funny

    Player: Doesn't the computer want me to be happy?

    GM: No. The computer *demands* that you be happy.

    --
    If you had super powers, would you use them for good, or for awesome?