Army Develops New Chewing Gum
IEBEYEBALL writes "The Army is developing a new chewing gum to help soldiers fight dental problems in the field. The gum takes the place of brushing teeth, which the soldier in a combat situation might not have time or means to do. This sounds like the perfect solution for the geek on the go!"
I know several who think that simply chewing a stick of gum after a meal is a sufficient replacement for a full brushing. Damn Trident marketing.
These people also tend to have the DemonBreath from Hell TM.
Post-rock/Ambient/Drone and other noise.
Why wouldn't they just market and sell that to everyone? I'm sure most people would buy and chew gum if it could effectively replace brushing.
They reason they are geeks is because they are NOT on the go!
Visiting Marine battalion jailed for life after found with chewing gum.
So when it gets stuck all over the streets the way regular chewing gum does, will it help prevent potholes?
Nothing really new there, NASA astro-nuts had teeth-cleaning gum for years.
First it's the microwaves and fridges and coffee makers in the labs/cubicles/dungeons that we work in. Then come along hyper-caffeinated beverages to keep you going longer and longer. Choose anti-glare screens. Choose ergonomic mice. Choose Microsoft f***ing natural keyboards with advanced wrist support and a line of shortcut keys at the top. Choose free soda and free sugar, pumped handily into your veins. What next? Briefcase-sized port-a-potties so that we never, EVER have to leave the glare of the monitor?? STOP THE MADNESS!!!
An old-timer with old-timey ideas.
I've been told a few times that if you don't floss you might as well not even brush. I don't see how any gum could possibly be effective in the same way as flossing.
However, I'm impressed that the Army has finally found something of use for both soldiers and really lazy people.
The gum was the only good thing inside a MRE (other than the rare bag of Skittles).
In other news: Cola to replace flossing
I mean, what if this stuff actually tastes good too? Frontline soldiers will be chewing it incessantly, thus rendering them an easy target for snipers in the dark, who will be able to spot them because of their gleaming white teeth. "OK men, keep your heads down, watch your backs and for God's sake, KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT!" I'd rather have plaque than a bullet in the gob anytime.
Modest doubt is called the beacon of the wise. - William Shakespeare
<sigh>, when will Slashdot get it... once again, Correlation does not equate to Causality!
For example, sick people are not on the go. Geeks are not on the go, ergo geeks must be sick! Doesn't make sense, does it?
Now, that geeks are not on the go is supported by the fact that I'm sitting here on a lovely Saturday afternoon writing this. I'm certainly not on the go. However it's not because I'm not on the go that I'm sitting here posting on /., rather it's the other way around. I'm sitting here posting, which is preventing me from being on the go. Thus not being on the go is an effect rather than the actual cause.
Or something. I think I need some fresh air. :)
Blockwars: a free multiplayer, head to head game!
"They do not preach that their god will rouse them, a little before the Nuts work loose." Kipling, 'The Sons of Martha'
Fry: Big Pink! It's the only gum with the breath-freshening power of ham.
Bender: And it pinkens your teeth while you chew!
General Jack D. Ripper: Mandrake, do you realize that in addition to fluoridating water, why, there are studies underway to fluoridate salt, flour, fruit juices, soup, sugar, milk... ice cream. Ice cream, Mandrake, children's ice cream.
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: Lord, Jack.
General Jack D. Ripper: You know when fluoridation first began?
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: I... no, no. I don't, Jack.
General Jack D. Ripper: Nineteen hundred and forty-six. Nineteen forty-six, Mandrake. How does that coincide with your post-war Commie conspiracy, huh? It's incredibly obvious, isn't it? A foreign substance is introduced into our precious bodily fluids without the knowledge of the individual. Certainly without any choice. That's the way your hard-core Commie works.
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: Uh, Jack, Jack, listen, tell me, tell me, Jack. When did you first... become... well, develop this theory?
General Jack D. Ripper: Well, I, uh... I... I... first became aware of it, Mandrake, during the physical act of love.
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: Hmm.
General Jack D. Ripper: Yes, a uh, a profound sense of fatigue... a feeling of emptiness followed. Luckily I... I was able to interpret these feelings correctly. Loss of essence.
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: Hmm.
General Jack D. Ripper: I can assure you it has not recurred, Mandrake. Women uh... women sense my power and they seek the life essence. I, uh... I do not avoid women, Mandrake.
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: No.
General Jack D. Ripper: But I... I do deny them my essence.
Copied gratuitiously from the IMDB Memorable Quotes section. So you see, it's not a US plot. It's a commie plot.
This is what's modded as "interesting?" First, the Army (if you RTFA) is expressing an interest in this - it's being worked on by a researcher outside the DOD. Second, countless products like this end up in similar form, used in the private sector. Defense-funded/initiated R&D produces all sorts of technologies and techniques that impact the wider economy. I'm sure plenty of long-haul truckers, pilots, backpackers and other folks will find something like this useful.
... into other areas?"
You ask "how about investing the money
There are undreds of thousands of people on active duty in our military. Their health is hard to maintain in the field, and anything that assists in that, even if it costs a few million bucks, is well spent. Better body armor, better vehicles, and yes, better overall health from reducing gum disease as a vector for infection (especially overseas). Get a grip.
Don't disappoint your bird dog. Go to the range.
Heard somewhere on a future battlefield... "I came here to kick ass and chew gum, and I'm all out of... oh wait a minute, they just airlifted in a whole pallet of this stuff. Looks like I won't have to kill you today, after all!"
You see? You see? Your stupid minds! Stupid! Stupid!