Slashdot Mirror
Copy Machines At Greater Risk During Holidays
Ant writes "CNET News.com reports that photocopier supplier Canon is warning customers to take better care of their office equipment during the Christmas period. It claims that the festive season traditionally leads to a 25 percent hike in service calls due to incidents such as the classic backside copying prank.
Such a stunt, a mainstay of the office party, often results in cracked glass on the copier, with 32 percent of Canon technicians claiming to have been called out to fix glass plates during the Christmas period after attempts to copy body parts went wrong..."
..compared to faxing your penis
That's why I only photocopy women's breasts. That keeps most of the weight safely off the copier.
This year's Christmas party is gonna ROCK!
That's why I saved the first copy I made of my ass: now I just photocopy that.
The snow doesn't give a soft white damn whom it touches. -- ee cummings
Just the words "paper jam" bring me out in a cold sweat...
PocketGamer.org - For the gamer on the go!
I was thinking the same thing (hoping for hot interns), then got worried upon seeing the link for the "Put this story in perspective with this unique visual tool (full screen). Learn more" thingie and wondered how many fat arses would be seen :(
Thankfully it was just an interactive article map.
liqbase
The idea of having sex either doesn't come to mind, or the prospect is so daunting, geeks resort to other means to attempt reproducing.
Because this is the one time of the year where the average /.er might actually have the opportunity to see a girl-they-work-with's ass, albeit in B&W on a crumpled sheet of paper in the trashcan? I'd say that's some "shit that matters". Or maybe that'll be the smear across the glass on the copier, so it helps to have a "heads up" before you go thinking it's chocolate and try to lick it off.
Season's greetings and shit.
If you were me, you'd be good lookin'. - six string samurai
Comment removed based on user account deletion
I fix copiers. The last time I fixed one of these they also broke the scanner. The person tried to say the glass caved in while they were copying a book. But the idiot left the copy of their rear end jammed in the machine. The damage wasn't under a maintaince contract as its considered abuse and misuse. It cost $1832.68 to repair. That was one costly rear end shot.
I trust Microsoft as far as I could comfortably spit a dead rat
We have a 2 week Christmas break, and returning to work last January 4th was a bit of a puzzler.
I returned to a rather frantic voicemail stating that the Panasonic wasn't working correctly in accounts. What worried me was that the Post-It note on my desk stating the same thing 'Account copier broken' - had blood all over it.
I wandered over to have a look at the problem, only to be confronted by a department that seemed strangely quiet, and a perfectly working copier. However, there was a bloody mark along the floor matching the edge of the copier, but it looked like it had been moved. "Fair enough, something odd is going on, and the copier has been cleaned/moved..." I thought. The someone piped up that they couldn't print to it. On closer inspection, it transpired that this machine had no network settings and was, in fact, a totally different machine.
So I duly phoned the copier company and was informed that our contact was off sick and was extremely sorry for what had happened and in any case, he had 'paid for it' and hoped the replacement was in good working order.
On querying further, it transpired that our copier contact had been seeing one of our accounts staff, and they'd used the copier for 'support' during a 'on-site' session together. At some point the glass cracked and certain appendages got caught in the resulting mess of (heavy) woman, glass and plastics, the outcome of which was a broken penis (ouch!) and lots of blood, and I assume a lot of pain and noise. The new copier arrived during in the Christmas holidays and the door entry logs gave up the secret that the accounts clerk had come it to take delivery of it and set it up in the hope that everything would be okay... ho ho ho...
they can break. Thats why I use the Xerox Assjet 790. The only copier made especially for your ass. Remember, when copying your ass this holiday season, choose quality, choose the Xerox Assjet 790.
"In the game of life, someone always has to lose. To me, if life were fair, that someone would always be Oklahoma." -DKR
Actually, it'd reduce the force by a lot less. Assuming a 100 kg (220 pound) person is sitting on a horizontal piece of glass, the force would be 980 Newtons (100kg times the force of gravity). Slanting the copier 45 degrees would reduce the force against the glass to 980/sqrt(2) or about 692.96 Newtons. That's a reduction factor of 1.414. Also, don't forget that slanting the glass would result a sliding force parallel to the surface of the glass of 692.96 Newtons, which I'm guessing is more than the static friction coefficient of ass cheek on glass. Anyone know the exact value?
PEN IS
...
STUCK
IN PRINTER
I loved the image so much, I put a sign that said the above on the printer in our helpdesk. Never seen so much coffee spirted out of peoples mouths in ages
Robert Anton Wilson
They're lighter and won't break the glass.
This sig is worse than my last.
The platen glass is only designed to withstand 3 lbs of pressure.
"The price good men pay for indifference to public affairs is to be ruled by evil men." ~Plato (427-347 BC)