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Terrible Games From A Terrible Year
1up is running an article written by the ever amusing SeanBaby, wherein he write about some of the worst games from the worst year in gaming. The year was 1984, and the U.S. videogaming industry was close to non-existence. What was released, then, left a lot to be desired. From the article: "Snacks N' Jackson - In this game, you play the part of a clown's head attached to a 4-foot tentacle neck. Your nose detaches itself from your face, and it's the rest of your clown face's job to keep it from bouncing through the window behind you. Also, you have to tentacle your head around to eat levitating breakfast foods. The strange name Snacks N' Jackson was a last-minute replacement of the original title, What Hitler Sees When He Closes His Eyes."
That is quite possibly the most disturbing game concept i've ever seen...
Just a heads up about the link not working properly, takes you back to your own account Journal page.
...Want to check the link there, it should be here not https://slashdot.org/admin.pl?op=edit
do.what.promptcmds
http://1up.com/do/feature?cId=3146061&did=1
The real link...
This might have been in an interesting article if Seanbaby actually stayed on topic. For the most part, it's him just trying to sound clever. Also, his analysis of the games is lot to be desired. For instance, in his review of the Gremlins game for the Atari 5200, he aims his frustrations at the manual instead of the actual game. And during his dissection of the manual, he spends the better part of the paragraph describing the fate of that ill fated tech writer. Advice to you, Seanbaby ... write the article first. Be funny second. If I wanted to laugh, I'd ask you to drop your trousers.
... Snacks N' Jackson sounds pretty out there, but it sounds like the developers were trying to do something new as opposed rehash another rehash. I didn't read one gripe about the gameplay, just the concept.
I once played an import game called "Switch" for the Sega CD and the only thing you did was press buttons. If you pressed the wrong button, boobs would appear all over your character or an easter island statue would fall on him. It was the weirdest game I ever played, but it made for a great party game. My long winded point, sometimes the good things don't come in boxes.
And one other thing
Whoa, you need to read some funnier stuff. Good god man, this is the information age!
Get started at:
http://www.notmydesk.com/
http://lileks.com/institute/index.html
http://www.ironycentral.com/babymain.html
If gaming articles are more your style and you've played Ultima 7:
http://www.it-he.org/ultima7.htm especially "Further drug experiments" http://www.it-he.org/u7_drugs.htm