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The 2005 IT Year In Quotes

PCM2 writes "InfoWorld is carrying a news story that sums up the year in quotes from IT executives. Lots of fun stuff to be had here, including former WorldCom CEO Bernie Ebbers: 'I know what I don't know, and to this day I don't know technology and I don't know accounting and finance.' Also: 'We have so many rivals it's frightening. The week after next I will meet Bill Gates and Steve Jobs and I will [shake hands and]look down and see if I still have a hand.' - Sony's Stringer"

43 of 142 comments (clear)

  1. Rare to get such honesty these days. by otavo · · Score: 5, Insightful

    "In our flash business, we had an awful quarter. ... It makes me puke to lose US$39 million." -- Hector Ruiz, chairman, president and CEO of Advanced Micro Devices Inc., clearly not a happy man. is my fav.

    It is rare to get such honesty these days.


    --------
    Intentional Web Initiative

    1. Re:Rare to get such honesty these days. by ZachPruckowski · · Score: 2, Funny

      It makes me puke

      To tell the truth, I don't want that much honesty.

    2. Re:Rare to get such honesty these days. by rampant+mac · · Score: 3, Insightful
      "In our flash business, we had an awful quarter. ... It makes me puke to lose US$39 million." -- Hector Ruiz, chairman, president and CEO of Advanced Micro Devices Inc., clearly not a happy man. is my fav.

      It is rare to get such honesty these days."

      That's not honesty. That's a CEO kissing ass, hoping the board won't fire him. An honest CEO would explain in detail why that division lost so much money, why it was his fault, and how he would rectify the issue.

      --
      I like big butts and I cannot lie.
    3. Re:Rare to get such honesty these days. by chris_eineke · · Score: 2, Funny
      An honest CEO
      Good joke. :P
      --
      "All you have to do is be fragile and grateful. So stay the underdog." Chuck Palahniuk, Choke
    4. Re:Rare to get such honesty these days. by mpupu · · Score: 2

      That's not honesty. That's a CEO kissing ass, hoping the board won't fire him. An honest CEO would explain in detail why that division lost so much money, why it was his fault, and how he would rectify the issue.

      And all that in a single quote.

    5. Re:Rare to get such honesty these days. by Skater · · Score: 3, Informative

      How do you know he didn't? This could be, and likely is, a quote to a journalist, not to the board.

  2. Here's one from drewzhrodague by drewzhrodague · · Score: 4, Funny

    Here's one from me, I came-up with this pretty much on the fly, but I guess it was in response to someone's question in a conversation: Vacation is the distance between jobs.

    --
    Zhrodague.net - I do projects and stuff too.
  3. My 2005 IT Quote of the Year by rampant+mac · · Score: 5, Funny
    Secretary sitting outside Balmer's Office...

    *sound of chair hitting the wall*

    "What the FUCK was that?"

    --
    I like big butts and I cannot lie.
    1. Re:My 2005 IT Quote of the Year by sammy+baby · · Score: 3, Funny

      Hee. If the stories about Ballmer are true, it was more likely, "Here we go again."

  4. Re:They forgot a few by ZachPruckowski · · Score: 4, Informative

    "I'm going to f***ing bury that guy, I have done it before, and I will do it again. I'm going to f***ing kill Google." -- Steve Jobs

    Um, wasn't that Steve Ballmer? I mean, there's a bit of a difference.

  5. "Screw the nano." by plover · · Score: 5, Funny
    "Screw the nano. What the hell does the nano do? Who listens to 1,000 songs?" -- Motorola's Zander letting his real feelings show about Apple Computer (Profile, Products, Articles) Inc.'s music player, which overshadowed Motorola's new Rokr phone during a product launch. (Sept. 23.)

    He's right! 640 songs ought to be enough for anyone!

    --
    John
    1. Re:"Screw the nano." by IvanTheViking · · Score: 3, Insightful

      Ditto.

      I have an 80GB Neuros for a reason : Discographies on the go.

      Pick a band, aim the car and drive off.


      640 songs? My archaic laptop has more than that on it, and I use it once a month.

  6. ESR such a dolt by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Interesting

    OK, mod this down... Eric Raymond is the biggest f*cking prick I've ever met. Microsoft's worst nightmare? I doubt Bill Gates is sitting at home having nightmares about the arrogant gasbag that is ESR. I met him a couple times so far. Each time he was condescending and rude. Against my better judgment I asked him to autograph a program guide. The fucker actually sneered at me and huffed. Contrast this to maddog hall or Wozniak or Linus (all of whom were absolutely pleasant and smiling). Shoot, even Richard Stallman who I'd thought would be an ass from all the stories I've heard was a nice guy, though really weird (and driven, and someone I'm glad fights for what he believes). But ESR, put a cork in him please.

    1. Re:ESR such a dolt by rampant+mac · · Score: 2, Funny
      "OK, mod this down... Eric Raymond is the biggest f*cking prick I've ever met. Microsoft's worst nightmare? I doubt Bill Gates is sitting at home having nightmares about the arrogant gasbag that is ESR. I met him a couple times so far. Each time he was condescending and rude."

      Yes, but did he pass the geek smell test? That's my litmus for nerdery. If he has that 3-day-old smell of farted burritos and stale Cheetos, he get my nod of approval. Otherwise, pfft, you're completely right.

      --
      I like big butts and I cannot lie.
    2. Re:ESR such a dolt by kfg · · Score: 4, Funny

      But ESR, put a cork in him please.

      Careful dude, or he might get to feeling like putting a lead cork in you.

      You probably just shouldn't pay much attention to those "three letter" people anyway.

      KFG

    3. Re:ESR such a dolt by Dr.+Photo · · Score: 4, Funny

      "You probably just shouldn't pay much attention to those "three letter" people anyway.

      KFG"


      Heh, heh, heh.

      Slightly OT, but... Every time I see the nick "kfg", I think it must mean "Kentucky Fried Goat". And that makes me smile. :)

    4. Re:ESR such a dolt by kfg · · Score: 4, Funny

      Every time I see the nick "kfg", I think it must mean "Kentucky Fried Goat".

      One of these days I'm really going to have to have a talk with my mother about that one.

      KFG

  7. A contender from Sony by From+A+Far+Away+Land · · Score: 5, Interesting

    Mr. THOMAS HESSE (President, Sony BMG Global Digital Business): Most people, I think, don't even know what a Rootkit is, so why should they care about it?

    1. Re:A contender from Sony by keithmo · · Score: 2, Insightful

      The first time I read that quote, I thought "most people don't know what malignant melanoma is, so why should they care about it?"

  8. Re:Sorry, Steve Ballmer by otavo · · Score: 2, Funny

    Steve Jobs is known to have a temper I was starting to wonder if Google introduced a gPod or something. :)

  9. The Real Jem; by DNAspark99 · · Score: 3, Interesting

    "What were you going to do with the rest of your afternoon, offer jobs to Richard Stallman and Linus Torvalds? Or were you going to stick to something easier, like talking Pope Benedict into presiding at a Satanist orgy?"
      -- Eric Raymond, one of the prime movers in the open-source movement, who also describes himself as "Microsoft's worst nightmare" after he received an e-mail pitch from Microsoft asking if he was interested in a job. (Sept. 9.)

    --

    --
    Society has traditionally always tried to find scapegoats for its problems. Well, here I am.
    1. Re:The Real Jem; by el+americano · · Score: 2

      I don't know about Microsoft, but he's *my* worst nightmare. I hope he prime-moves from irrelevant to forgotten real soon.

      (Microsoft HR: Sir, just forget about it. We weren't offering you a job.)

      --
      Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others. -Groucho Marx
  10. And in other quotes: by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    'The week after next we will meet Sony's Stringer and we will [shake hands and] look down and see if he surreptitiously sticks something up our asses.' - Bill Gates and Steve Jobs

  11. Re:Linus logic... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

    Gates was following Linus' logic when he named his company Microsoft.

    I'll be here all week, folks.

  12. Developer comment... by __aaclcg7560 · · Score: 4, Funny

    A developer once said: "I have no idea what the probelm is, but whatever it was is now fixed."

    Which kinda reminds of the line from the remake of The Thing: "I don't know what that was, but it's weird and it's pissed off."

  13. How about this one.... by 8127972 · · Score: 4, Funny

    "I have never, honestly, thrown a chair in my life." - Steve Ballmer at Gartner's Symposium/ITxpo, 10/20/05

    I guess he means that he's dishonestly thown a chair.

    --
    This is my opinion. To make sure you don't steal it, it's covered by the DMCA.
    1. Re:How about this one.... by StarkRG · · Score: 4, Funny

      "Alright, I won't toss this chair at you, I was just faking you out. No, really, I don't throw chairs, it's just a roumor. You can come out from behind that wet bar, seriously, I'm not going to hurt you..." *crash* "Ha! Gotcha!"

  14. Long Memories by kmactane · · Score: 5, Insightful
    "One of the most frustrating things that happens occasionally is you go into a client and they'll regale you with tales of atrocities and you say, 'When did this happen?' and they say 'Oh, 1993 or 94, I forget when' -- there's such a long tail to the memories of some of our clients." -- [CA CEO John] Swainson laying out the challenges he and his team face in trying to rebuild shattered customer confidence in the company formerly known as Computer Associates, now rebranded just plain CA. (Oct. 12.)

    Swainson's not kidding, there. Especially when a company does something really boneheaded, people don't forget, and they don't even forgive. (I think maybe people feel like forgiveness is for other humans, not for corporations.)

    I was on the phone with a recruiter earlier today, and mention of Claria (formerly Gator) came up. He said that it was really difficult to place people there. There were the occasional ones who just didn't recognize the name, but at least half his potential hires went "Claria? They're the people who used to be Gator! I'm not working there! Don't even send them my résumé."

    Note that these are people who are out of work, too. Some missteps are just so bad, you can never recover from them. Associating yourself with sleazy and excruciatingly annoying marketing methods is one of them. (Only time will tell if putting rootkits on your customers' computers is another.)

    1. Re:Long Memories by IvanTheViking · · Score: 2, Insightful

      I think rootkits from the Music Industry are going to probably become the touchiest subject so far when it comes to "bundled" malacious software. Granted, as you pointed out time will only tell on these products, but one must also recall why people will still purchase the product even if the name is slandered in their minds:Monopoly on access to the music they desire.

      Sure, an average ./ 'er will say "F'em , I'll just P2P my way to aural pleasure", but if you think about Joe Consumer, he/she will probably still purchase the legal CD as they are now be trained into avoiding downloading music at all costs. ClearChannel will still do its part too in pumping RIAA music and only RIAA music onto the airwaves ensuring the average person will be addicted to it like crack, keeping the sales going, even if the entire industry is tarnished.


      How this turns out should be an amusing tale to tell the kids, either in "The day artists went indie/label free" or "The day we lost our freedoms and live in a censored, scrutinized world" (food for thought)

  15. Re:They forgot a few by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny
    Um, wasn't that Steve Ballmer? I mean, there's a bit of a difference.

    not really

  16. What do you know? by ezratrumpet · · Score: 5, Funny
    "I know what I don't know, and to this day I don't know technology and I don't know accounting and finance." -- Bernie Ebbers, former WorldCom Inc. CEO, speaking in his defense, yes, you've got that right, in his defense during the WorldCom fraud trial.

    So, to become a CEO of a major communications company, you need not know technology, accounting, or finance. Did the board of directors just need a really good shortstop for the annual softball game against the engineers?

    1. Re:What do you know? by Kihaji · · Score: 2, Interesting

      There is a reason companies hire smart people to do engineering, accounting, and finance. It's because they know what they are doing.

      CEO's are there to manage people, not tell Joe Beancounter that he forgot to carry a 1.

    2. Re:What do you know? by AuMatar · · Score: 2, Insightful

      CEOs set the strategy for the company. If they don't know technology, how can they decide where they should move their products? If they don't know finance, how can they know wether to lay off, hire more, buy or not buy this or that company, etc? They don't need to have phds in MechE, EE, CS, etc, but they need a working knowledge of the filds the company works in.

      --
      I still have more fans than freaks. WTF is wrong with you people?
    3. Re:What do you know? by killjoe · · Score: 2, Funny

      I actually saw this exchange on CSPAN between kenneth Lay and a congressman (not verbatim).

      "Did you know you had to report these earning in this way?"
      "No I did not"
      "Why not? That's just basic accounting"
      "I didn't know that's all"
      "When you went to school didn't they teach you that?"
      "I guess not".
      "What did you major in?"
      "I have an MBA".
      "YOu have an MBA and you didn't know a basic accounting principle? Where did you get you degree from?"
      "Harward business school".

      Man I fell down laughing. It wasn't a great advertisement for Harvard or capitlaism for that matter.

      --
      evil is as evil does
  17. gotta be the rootkit quote by YesIAmAScript · · Score: 2, Interesting

    "Most people, I think, don't even know what a rootkit is, so why should they care about it?" - Thomas Hesse, President of Sony BMG's global digital business division.

    This is the quote of my year in my book.

    --
    http://lkml.org/lkml/2005/8/20/95
  18. Re:What the hell is this? by Turn-X+Alphonse · · Score: 5, Insightful

    It's Slashdot man, try to calm down a touch. I've had comments so insightful they could see the future modded troll and comments I wrote when pissed off at people modded +5 insightful. It depends who has mod points on the given day(after all if we're all getting them some days idiots must get them too).

    Look on the bright side at least you didn't have a topic go from +5 insightful to -1 insightful (damn over rated), like I have several times. I'm starting to wonder if I have made a few enemies modding me down when I get a high rated comment.

    Just remember idiots go for the easy mods and if they don't have anyone to lead them (notice it's always +5 -1 or just the default 1/2 when things are modded), they'll mod up the first thing they think is even remotely correct/funny (waste of mod points alert)/they agree with.

    Welcome to Slashdot, where the ???? always stands for get minions/followers

    --
    I like muppets.
  19. This one has it all - sony, the queen, arrows, jam by skeptictank · · Score: 3, Interesting
    "A company as big as this one ... has to organize its priorities. In the U.K. we call it the law of raspberry jam: the wider the culture is spread, the thinner it is spread." -- Howard Stringer, as he became Sony (Profile, Products, Articles) CEO. He also talked about having tea with the queen and her complaint that Sony remote controls have "too many arrows." (June 23.)

    A female monarch older than most of the countries on the planet complaining about the remotes made by the first company to deploy rootkits in commercial products - that pretty much sums up the current state of humanity.

  20. It's good to be underestimated -- BillG by heytal · · Score: 2, Informative

    This one is from Bill's India Visit, which he concluded yesterday:

    Do you see any threat to Microsoft from companies like Yahoo! and Google which have entered the software market?

    The software space always has new companies coming into the domain and for the first time people seem to underestimate Microsoft. It is healthy competition and it is good to be underestimated once in a while.

    Full Interview Here

  21. Re:This one has it all - sony, the queen, arrows, by erikharrison · · Score: 2, Interesting

    I may also be true.

    Queen Elizabeth the II is 79 years old. There are, what, 203 countries in the world, roughly, depending on how you count? Considering the revolutions in Africa, and the disolving of Soviet Russia, and the aftermath of World War II (which brought many colonized states into revolution and eventually nationhood) it's not hard to imagine that 102 countries have emerged in the last 80 years, depending on how one counts the age of a country.

  22. How's this... by 20th+Century+Boy · · Score: 2, Funny

    "The 2005 IT Year"

  23. Re:What the hell is this? by quantaman · · Score: 3, Funny

    Look on the bright side at least you didn't have a topic go from +5 insightful to -1 insightful (damn over rated), like I have several times. I'm starting to wonder if I have made a few enemies modding me down when I get a high rated comment.

    Hey guys are you asleep or something?!? He's at like +5!!

    I thought we went over this last meeting, when you see a post by Turn-X Alphonse you mod it down! Now, considering there's eight of you on shift WITH mod points I should not be seeing a +5 here!

    Bloody n00bs, don't even know how to run a simple conspiracy...

    --
    I stole this Sig
  24. Re:This one has it all - sony, the queen, arrows, by Profound · · Score: 2, Informative

    I ran a perl script over the CIA world factbook, looking for Independence > 1926 and got:

    total: 273, younger than queen: 132 = 48.3%

    So yeah, you're probably pretty close (depending on how one counts countries, and ages etc)

  25. Re:What the hell is this? by Turn-X+Alphonse · · Score: 2, Funny

    Back to +3 now. It's fine.. :P

    --
    I like muppets.