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Top 10 System Administrator Truths

Posted by CmdrTaco on from the my-users-never-lie dept.

Vo0k writes "What are your top ten system administrator truths? We all know them already, but it's still fun re-telling them. Stuff like "90% of all hardware-related problems come from loose connectors", even though you already know it's true, may save you from replacing the "faulty" motherboard if you recall it at the right time."

14 of 561 comments (clear)

  1. 95% of all problems.... by seramar · · Score: 5, Funny

    ... are operator errors. But you can't tell the operator that.

    --
    australian project gutenberg is better than the original.
    1. Re:95% of all problems.... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      "99% of all problems don't occur when the computer is off. That's why I always keep a pair of well-insulated pliers around."
      -- BOFH

    2. Re:95% of all problems.... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      When troubleshooting SCSI devices, always remember to light the black candles at midnight, and run the silver knife up the goats abdomen.

    3. Re:95% of all problems.... by NateTech · · Score: 5, Funny

      Layer 8 - Religion ("We're a Microsoft shop.")
      Layer 9 - Politics ("The boss wants it, even if it's stupid.)

      Both of which are more important than the other 7 layers. ;-)

      --
      +++OK ATH
    4. Re:95% of all problems.... by gstoddart · · Score: 5, Funny
      When troubleshooting SCSI devices, always remember to light the black candles at midnight, and run the silver knife up the goats abdomen.

      I've found for SCSI-2, you want to move the knife in a downwards manner.

      And by the time you're working on low-voltage differential SCSI-3, you want to make a left-to-right transverse cut. The second yellow candle is crucial in this case.
      --
      Lost at C:>. Found at C.
  2. Never.... by citizenklaw · · Score: 5, Funny

    Never post stupid top ten administrator lists on Slashdot, lest I have to spend my time restoring a web server from backup.

    --
    the future is but past forgotten
  3. #6.5: by Dirtside · · Score: 5, Funny

    IT'S NOT A CUPHOLDER!!

    --
    "Destroy science and religion. Science would re-emerge exactly the same; but not religion." - Penn Jillette, paraphrased
  4. Re:#10 Reboot should be #1 by j-cloth · · Score: 5, Funny

    The other benefit of a reboot is that, in the case of weird problems, even if it doesn't work it gives you two minutes to think about other possible causes without having the user nagging you.

  5. Re:In no particular order.... by Hektor_Troy · · Score: 5, Funny
    Good manuals should be read before you do anything.
    Bad manuals should not be read UNDER ANY CIRUMSTANCES.
    Fortunately all manuals come with stickers like "Super manual A+++++" or "Horrible manual, stole my wife, raped my dog F--------".
    --
    We do not live in the 21st century. We live in the 20 second century.
  6. Never make system config changes on Friday by winkydink · · Score: 5, Funny

    Unless you lack plans for the weekend.

    --

    "I'd rather be a lightning rod than a seismometer." -Ken Kesey

  7. Top Ten Sysadmin Truths by Golias · · Score: 5, Funny

    Number One: You will die alone.

    --

    Information wants to be anthropomorphized.

  8. Work smatah. by wheezl · · Score: 5, Funny

    If your job requires you to wear a name tag, carry a gun, or administer a Windows system, you have made a serious vocational error.

    --
    -- oh.... so..... sleeeeeepy.
    1. Re:Work smatah. by dosquatch · · Score: 5, Funny
      If your job requires you to wear a name tag, carry a gun, or administer a Windows system, you have made a serious vocational error.

      My job requires me to wear a nametag while administering a Windows network.

      They won't let me carry a gun. Even though I asked really, really nicely.

      Bastards.

      --
      "Hey, the third matrix movie would have been good except for the plot,story, and acting." --AC
  9. Re:Gunking up the works? by oneiros27 · · Score: 5, Funny
    what can a computer full of dust do to make it not work?

    Spontaneously combust

    Trust me -- you do not want to get that call:

    Caller: You know that machine in (room) that has a sign that says 'do not turn me off'? You: Yes ... what about it? Caller: There's smoke pouring out of it.
    --
    Build it, and they will come^Hplain.