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Mount St. Helens Eruption Baffles Scientists
jurt1235 writes "Mount St. Helens, which started erupting 15 months ago, is still erupting. The weird part is, by now every 3 seconds 10 cubic yards of lava is coming out of the volcano but scientists cannot determine from where it is coming anymore. From the article: 'The volume is greater than anything that could be standing in a narrow 3-mile pipe. That suggests resupply from greater depths, which normally would generate certain gases and deep earthquakes. Neither is being detected.'"
Uhhh... the earth?
I'd say it's probably coming from underground.
"I like you, but I wouldn't want to see you working with subatomic particles."
Uncle Cletus' eruptions. Every five minutes. Like clockwork. Cannot be explained entirely -- even after considering his diet of beer and refried beans. By my calculations, the emissions should result in his losing five pounds every year. Yet, at every Christmas party, he shows up heavier than last year.
Perhaps these two scientific mysteries are related.
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It's obviously the work of an evil mastermind, setting up his new lair.
Since he needs the space, he's melting the rock in order to make space for his laboratory. The eruptions will stop once he's managed to carve his face into the side of the mountain.
My money is either on Hank Scorpio or Dr. Evil.
The lava is coming from HAAAYYYYLLLL.
We christen this theory "Infernal Leakage". Soon to be taught in every school south of Joliet, Illinois.
Mess with us, and we'll sue! WE know who's behind all this Geologyist perversion of the Truth, and we'll be soon beating them nearly to death on the sides of the road, not to mention getting them canned from their posts for uttering blsphemy against Go- -er- Infernal Leakage theory.
Are people taught to use "cubic yards" in US schools? I thought all science in the US used the metric system ?
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Where in the hell is all that lava coming from?
//Information does not want to be free; it wants to breed.
USGS Geologist: ...so what we're seeing with the continued eruption without the typical earth movement and outgassing is a bit of a mystery. We're unsure where the pressure is coming from.
AP Reporter: so what you're saying is that the pressure will either form diamonds, like Superman, or spray lava all over Washington state?
USGS: Huh? No. No diamonds. And while inevitably the volcano probably WILL explode someday in the future, there's no sign of it coming any time soon.
AP reporter: so what you're saying is that it could explode without warning and set off "The Big One", causing California to fall into the ocean?
USGS: Not at all! The pressures involved presently are low because the lava flow is continuous.
AP: so what you're saying is that soon the lava will flow continuously like a river of fiery death, all the way to the sea, destroying Portland along the way?
USGS: Errr...no, I think it's safe to say there will be no river of lava. The worst thing we have to worry about is the silicates in the smoke plume damaging aircraft engines.
AP: so what you're saying is that the massive column of smoke will send all the world's airliners plummeting to the ground, killing thousands?
USGS: Wha? No, The airplanes will be fine! Look, this is just an interesting puzzle, really. We simply can't explain the lack of gasses in the outflow.
AP: Well OK then, I got it now. Thanks!
-AP wire, next day-
SCIENTISTS BAFFLED BY GAS SHORTAGES, PREDICT CATASTROPHIC EXPLOSION
USGS: &#%@*!
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