"St Lawrence of Google"

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Posted by CmdrTaco on Thursday January 12, 2006 @08:30AM from the genius-at-work dept.

mcho writes "The Economist has a story about Google's co-founder, Larry Page, who " always wanted to change the world". The article attempts to make an arguement about the company's true intentions, amid all the rumors about potential Google products. "Google is already working on a massive and global computing grid. Eventually, says Mr Saffo, 'they're trying to build the machine that will pass the Turing test' -- in other words, an artificial intelligence that can pass as a human in written conversations. Wisely or not, Google wants to be a new sort of deus ex machina.""

20 of 392 comments (clear)

The Turing Test will always fail... by dada21 · 2006-01-12 08:32 · Score: 4, Funny

We regulars at slashdot have found seven questions that will cause every computer taking the Turing test to fail:

1. Will it run Linux?
2. Why isn't there a law protecting us from [insert gripe here]?
3. When will Duke Nukem Forever be released and will it support Copland?
4. How can I enhance my sex organ's size?
5. How can I write a DRM scheme that can't be broken?
6. How can I protect my PIN number when I send it over AIM messenger to use at the ATM machine?

and the hardest question asked on slashdot:

7. ??? (usually followed by "Profit!")

Poor Larry is just spinning his wheels...
1. Re:The Turing Test will always fail... by undeadly · 2006-01-12 08:37 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  We regulars at slashdot have found seven questions that will cause every computer taking the Turing test to fail:
  Yeah, but any slashdotter regular will fail the Turing test in the first place.
2. Re:The Turing Test will always fail... by Reverend528 · 2006-01-12 08:51 · Score: 3, Funny
  
  Technically, a computer that can't answer those questions would score higher on a Turing test.
  
  --
  Badass Resumes
3. Re:The Turing Test will always fail... by Busy · 2006-01-12 10:05 · Score: 2, Funny
  
  What makes you so sure, "but any slasshdotter regular will fail the Turing test in the first place."?
  
  Did you know I can tell you what movies are playing near you? Just say, "Tell movies"
  
  --
  Think of someone with average intelligence. Now think 1/2 the world is dumber than that guy.
4. Re:The Turing Test will always fail... by Thangodin · 2006-01-12 10:06 · Score: 3, Funny
  
  Yeah, but any slashdotter regular will fail the Turing test in the first place.
  ::SQUAWK!!:: He has learned of our secret! ::BZZZTT!:: He knows we are artificial! ::SQEEEEE!:: EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!
  
  "It's normal to feel a little guilty after achieving sexual satisfaction through mechanical means." -- Robot in Heavy Metal
5. Re:The Turing Test will always fail... by Zenmonkeycat · 2006-01-12 10:48 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  I'm sorry undeadly (941339), but I don't understand what you mean when you type, "Yeah, but any slashdotter regular will fail the Turing test in the first place." Could you please explain that to me, undeadly (941339)?
  
  --
  *****
  Dear Mary,
  I yearn for you tragically,
  A.T. Tappman, Chaplain, U.S. Army.
6. Re:The Turing Test will always fail... by Lord_Dweomer · 2006-01-12 14:23 · Score: 2, Funny
  
  ' Technically, a computer that can't answer those questions would score higher on a Turing test."
  Or at least have a much better chance of getting laid than most slashdotters.
  
  --
  Buy Steampunk Clothing Online!
7. Re:The Turing Test will always fail... by ozmanjusri · 2006-01-12 15:39 · Score: 2, Funny
  
  "Or at least have a much better chance of getting laid than most slashdotters."
  
  <Aussie Mode>
  
  Well, duh. Windows computers are _always_ getting rooted.
  
  </Aussie Mode>
  
  --
  "I've got more toys than Teruhisa Kitahara."
T1,2,3 by DNAspark99 · 2006-01-12 08:32 · Score: 3, Funny

GoogleNet == SkyNet!

--

--
Society has traditionally always tried to find scapegoats for its problems. Well, here I am.
1. Re:T1,2,3 by coolGuyZak · 2006-01-12 08:50 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  And the suit/labcoat that Larry Page is wearing in the picture makes him look suspiciously like the leader of a cult.
  Larry Page: Father of the Cult of Skynet. It has a certain ring to it, neh? ;)
  Seriously, though... I'd hit that koolaid.
2. Re:T1,2,3 by Captain+Splendid · 2006-01-12 08:59 · Score: 3, Funny
  
  Memo to self: Send re-programmed Terminator unit back in time from 2047 to 1999 to kill Larry page.
  
  --
  Linux, you magnificent bastard, I read the fucking manual!
3. Re:T1,2,3 by qurve · 2006-01-12 09:21 · Score: 3, Funny
  
  So basically you're re-writing "The Communist Manifesto" by Karl Marx...To quote "In this sense, the theory of the Communists may be summed up in the single sentence: Abolition of private property." It didn't work, it doesn't work, and it will never work. Sorry.
4. Re:T1,2,3 by TapeCutter · 2006-01-12 12:40 · Score: 2, Funny
  
  "I thought it was "The one who dies with the most stuff wins!!""
  
  No, the one that inherits the stuff "wins". My aim is to die with a smile on my face.
  
  --
  And did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage? - Pink Floyd.
Leaked memo from S. Ballmer by Dystopian+Rebel · 2006-01-12 08:35 · Score: 4, Funny

"There's no way we'll let Google own the Deus ex machina market space! I'll f***ing kill those guys!" {sound of chair striking Bateman print}

--
Rich And Stupid is not so bad as Working For Rich And Stupid.
1. Re:Leaked memo from S. Ballmer by ch-chuck · 2006-01-12 09:16 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  You know, Bill Gates may be Chairman, but Balmer has definitely become "The Chair Man".
  
  --
  try { do() || do_not(); } catch (JediException err) { yoda(err); }
Pass as a human in written conversations by Anonymous Coward · 2006-01-12 08:38 · Score: 2, Funny

Too late. Ann Coulter has already achieved that.
Somebody start printing the tickets by ettlz · 2006-01-12 08:40 · Score: 1, Funny

"Eventually, says Mr Saffo, 'they're trying to build the machine that will pass the Turing test' -- in other words, an artificial intelligence that can pass as a human in written conversations. Wisely or not, Google wants to be a new sort of deus ex machina."

OK, guys, I'm off with some mates for a long round trip of the Sol System in deep hibernation until this all blows over. I've got three spare seats, if anyone's interested.
megalomania by circletimessquare · 2006-01-12 08:42 · Score: 4, Funny

the minds at google have entered the same phase tesla's mind did post-ac power defeating edison's dc power

that is, trying to transmit electricity in the atmosphere and building a death ray

your basic mad scientist megalomania

google to announce the sharks with frickin' laser beams project in 3... 2... 1...

--
intellectual property law is philosophically incoherent. it is your moral duty to ignore it or sabotage it
The ridiculous thing... by Skreems · 2006-01-12 08:45 · Score: 5, Funny

is that to build a truly self-aware computing grid, the LAST thing you want is for it to be distributed over the entire globe. The amount of data a system has to integrate to reach self-awareness is massive, and the further apart the nodes are the more latency you'll have. Once the system is up and running, then maybe you'd want to spread it apart to protect against natural disasters, but in the development stage you'd only be handicapping yourself needlessly. The writer's conclusion is based on an understanding of science that doesn't seem to reach past the Terminator 3 level.

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The Urban Hippie
Google to solve problems in an improbable way? by no+reason+to+be+here · 2006-01-12 08:57 · Score: 5, Funny
deus ex machina - n
1. In Greek and Roman drama, a god lowered by stage machinery to resolve a plot or extricate the protagonist from a difficult situation.
2. An unexpected, artificial, or improbable character, device, or event introduced suddenly in a work of fiction or drama to resolve a situation or untangle a plot.
3. A person or event that provides a sudden and unexpected solution to a difficulty.
Of the three definitions, I would say only 2 or 3 would make sense in the context that the phrase is used. So, the ultimate goal of the company is to have Google pop up unexpectedly and resolve conflicts in an artificial and contrived manner.

Sorta like Clippy. *ducks*
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my pet machine