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Uwe Boll Smash!
Eurogamer has an interview with opportunistic license-killer Uwe Boll. In the interview, which is dominated by Boll's anger with game fans, he states that he's unlikely to see new game licenses for movies after he butchers Far Cry. From the interview: "In fact, it's not just confusing Boll - it's putting him off the whole thing all together. 'I won't say that I won't acquire another videogame licence in the future. But I'm not so eager to do it any more, to be honest. After Far Cry, maybe I'll go away from videogame-based movies. And everybody can be really happy about it.'"
We have been telling him this since he made his first movie.
Perhaps he could start making reality TV shows , The scripts would be better and the acting more convincing .
The only things certain in war are Propaganda and Death. You can never be sure which is which though
I don't know about the rest of you, but I think Uwe Boll really showed his love today.
Oh, and the whole "I'm getting out of video game movies" thing is pretty cool, too.
What a nice after-Valentine's gift.
Boll says the point is that his movies get better as his career progresses - Dungeon Siege is "ten times better" than BloodRayne, which is ten times better than House of the Dead, and so on.
So, does that make each release 1 grade higher in the Richter scale or something?
Scene: CmdrTaco is sitting at his desk looking utterly depressed.
... ... it's too easy for them.
Enter: Zonk.
Zonk: Hey there, sport, why do you look so down?
*CmdrTaco remains silent*
Zonk: Still depressed about how your Valentine's date actually turned out to be a 38 year old Slashdot fan who still lives with his mom?
CmdrTaco: [dejectedly] Yeah
Zonk: Well, by golly, I know what'll cheer you up! Another Uwe Boll story on Slashdot!
CmdrTaco: Nah, the readers are tired of making fun of the same damned guy over and over
Zonk: Oh, come on! Then we'll put it in sectional content!
*Zonk finds an Uwe Boll interview that he hasn't posted before and runs the story*
Zonk: There! That should cheer you up! Just sit back and laugh as the replies roll in.
My work here is dung.
"Before they judge, they should see the film, that's the first thing. Second, they should really try to compare it fairly, and not based on my name.
Ok, I saw Alone In The Dark. It was one of the worst movies I've ever seen. Happy now?
I already know i'm going to hell, now i'm just trying to get cable down there.
God Bless you Mr Boil!
"I get bashed as the worldwide enemy number one in film-making by people who are working at Starbucks and who also want to make movies. It's ridiculous - it's completely idiotic because they're hitting on a guy who actually made it happen, but I started my career in the same position as anybody else," Boll argues.
Actually, we are bashing you because "you make it happen". Praise the lord that you are giving up on video game franchises.
"I am the king of the Romans, and am superior to rules of grammar!"
-Sigismund, Holy Roman Emperor (1368-1437)
It had to be said.
We call it art because we have names for the things we understand.
It's got Ray Liotta as an evil Mage, and Matthew Lillard trying to be a tough knight.
Besides, pirates > ninjas any day.
Wait, I haven't seen House of the Dead, but is he saying that it was ten times worse than Blood Rayne!? That seems pretty implausible. I mean, it seems like "I'd rather gauge my eyes out with dirty shrimp forks than see this movie again" would be fairly close to the bottom of the scale.
So in his estimates, that means about 500 to 1000 people have seen his movies and less than fifty knew him before House of the Dead.
Based on the paltry box office results from his recent movies, I'd say that sounds about right.
Small potatoes make the steak look bigger.