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Lessons GMs Can Learn from World of Warcraft
Martin Ralya writes "As a tabletop RPG gamemaster, I've been thinking about what GMs can learn from World of Warcraft ever since I first logged in. After close to 200 hours of WoW time, I've come up with 9 lessons GMs can learn from World of Warcraft."
When I saw the headline, I thought it said "Lessons GM Can Learn from World of Warcraft"........ thought it was going to be about how WoW could help the automotive industry.
The submitter spells out World of Warcraft in the title, but uses an acronym for GM? WoW... I mean, wow.
Your obviously didn't know how to play a warlock. You forgot handing out healthstones to everyone, and every half hour using a soul stone on the priest. Then there's also the shadowbolt spam! ;)
Endless fun. Four skills our of two dozen used. Weeee.
I traded all my mod points for these magic beans.
1. Make sure there is a ridiculously powerful class/race combination in the game that requires absolutely no skill but that (with only five buttons) can do 350 damage per second perpetually at enormous range against other classes that have no defense whatsoever.
2. Put a race in the game whose only purpose is to be defeated by undead. Write this into at least four storylines. Celebrate the wanton destruction of a civilization that survived millenia only to be overrun by a maggot-infested gibbering rabble.
3. Require hundreds upon hundreds of hours of effort for a chance to roll on one purple item, only to be screamed at because you win.
4. Be really clever and make your "ugly" race the good guys (Cairne is Obi Wan Kenobi, Thrall is Abraham Lincoln) and make the humans led by a deranged genocidal maniac.
5. Give spellcasters the damage mitigation equivalent of a WWII destroyer.
6. Put elves in the game only so everyone else can make fun of them.
7. Put items in the game that by themselves are more powerful than a level 15 warrior.
8. Put trade skills in the game that never advance. Ever.
9. For the holidays, put Old Man Santa Winter five feet from the most crowded place on two continents.
10. Make sure all combat is designed around "make the other guy's character stop moving."
Business isn't willing to pay for products, innovation and careers, so we get brands, mortgage commercials and layoffs.
I started playing World of Warcraft (WoW) at the end of 2005, and it's been a blast so far.
In nearly 200 hours of gameplay, I can count the number of times I've logged off frustrated on one hand.
Quick math: 49 days this year means this guy has played 4ish hours a day.
Your sig(k) has been stolen. There is a puff of smoke!
* The all-new Pontiac Gryphon.
* Put up hot new cars at auction on late Friday afternoons, so that those who want to buy a new car to show off to their friends later that night and over the weekend will want to snap them up immediately.
* The totally-redesigned Chevy Mechanostrider. (A subcompact.)
* Lobby governments to raise the driving age to 40.
* Replace warning lights on dashboard with the phrases "u left key in ign kthx," "0ut 0f wip3r fluid!!!", "buff m3 w/ 0il plz," and "LFG >91 Oct."
* All cars will ship with Goblin(TM) Jumper Cables XL. (No guarantees on them actually doing any good.)
* 40-main raids on the super high-level Japan instance. Watch out for the Toyota and Honda boss encounters!
And, the number-one lesson GM can learn from WoW:
* To paraphrase Henry Ford: "You can paint it any color, so long as it's rouge."
> As a tabletop RPG gamemaster, I've been thinking about
> what GMs can learn from World of Warcraft ever since I
> first logged in. After close to 200 hours of WoW time,
> I've come up with 9 lessons GMs can learn from World of Warcraft.
Here's five more, courtesy of the Imp:
1. People will perform boring, repetitive tasks ad infinitum if you give them little rewards. Note to self: figure out way to make lad enjoy and remember to take the trash out each week.
2. Giving something a glowing green, blue, or purple label will make them drool. See also: yellow, gold label. Note to self: re-wrap packages of broccoli and Brussels sprouts in shiny gold foil.
3. Mini-games like throwing a snowball or medicine ball, or leaping high into the air and turning into a snowman can entertain for hours. Note to self: raid bargain bin at CompUSA, splice in calls to said games via !shell commands to some 3D game with a scripting engine, and direct child's face to new "game" the way Benny Hill redirect's the lilolman's face, turning it with both hands then slapping him on the back of the head.
4. After 80 years of moving at a snail's pace, gaining a hideously expensive horse that lets you move at 1.5 x a snail's pace is, for some reason, considered awesome. Note to self: all he needs is a rusty 10 speed, not a car. Put green bow on it with gold foil lettering, "Awesum-o Speed Demon!"
5. Miniscule, statistically insignificant bonuses are slobbered over due to mathematical illiteracy. Note to self: Also add "+5 Iron -- Increases Strength" in shiny purple foil to broccoli, Brussels sprouts
(-1: Post disagrees with my already-settled worldview) is not a valid mod option.
10: Make your friends wait outside of your house for hours before you let them in to play.