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The Family That Games Together Online
GamerDad has a piece talking about families gaming together online. The article profiles some gamer families. Brian Reynolds, CEO of Big Huge Games, is cited as an example; He games together with his sons. The article also touches on the more serious issues of addiction and quality time. From the article: "Another hidden benefit to online games is that families spread over several states can keep in touch and play online together. Thompson agrees, 'I never foresaw how important the games online would become, but I did actually get a line added into my divorce decree that guaranteed me three days a week that I could get on the computer with my kids, via web cam. So I could communicate and see them. At the time, I wasn't a huge MMORPG player, so I didn't envision the role it would play.'"
Ahh quality family time. ;)
We used to WoW together: Him a 60 priest, me a 60 warrior. Then that rat bastard rolled on my Brainhacker, and I squelched his ass!
I'll form my OWN solar system! With blackjack! And hookers!
but I did actually get a line added into my divorce decree that guaranteed me three days a week that I could get on the computer with my kids, via web cam.
I think we're going to be seeing a lot more of this in divorce papers. Especially if the parent with the kids moves across the country, such that personal visits are not practical.
On a related note, restraining orders are probably going to start having sections on internet contact, if they don't already. "I never came within 1000 yards of her, officer." "but you harassed her 4 hrs a day on AIM, off to jail"
No unauthorized use. Trespassers will be shot. Survivors will be shot again.
You mean, as in "Xbox LIVE"?
Grundes!
Until he signed up for WoW, we rarely ever spoke, even though we both miss each other very much.
Now that I've added him to my guild, he won't leave me the hell alone. I've learned to hate my family now, they're all ninka looters. FuXin n00b.
- Just my $0.02, take with a grain of salt, your mileage may vary.
My son and I have played been playing online games together since EQ1 came out.
:)
He is now 16 and we are playing EQ2 together. There have been a couple of other MMORPGs in between.
Before that though, we gamed on consoles and I introduced him to PC games at an early age.
Gaming together, and play in general, is something all parents should do with their children. My son and I are much closer than we might have been, and definitely gotten some deeper insight into each other.
Playing an RPG like EQ or WoW, gives a young person a chance to exercise their personal skills in a variety of settings, being their with him/her gives a parent a chance to mentor, observce and assist.
As for the insight part, my son and I play totally differently in some areas. Grouping up, we learn how the other thinks about things, like fair play, how to treat others, and prioritizing.
That sad, game play is no substitute for good parenting. So, if you're excuse for not spending any other time with yoiur family is that you play EQ together....well, you read the article.
Laters,
Tojosan
I spend time with my family doing activities such as watching things like Stargate or watching different movies or playing trivial pursuit or recently watching Olympics. It can be very quality time, because the quality of the time is not just about the activity you are sharing, but the way you share it. Watching an episode of Stargate that stimulates a discussion about a certain topic causes us to interact in a way we would not have interacted without the show. The same goes for trivial pursuit, it can stimulate a conversation about oh remember when such and such.
If anybody else in my family actually had an active interest in gaming, then playing a game we enjoyed in common would easily represent quality time with them. I certainly feel fragging nubs with my friends outside the family has been quality time. I have certainly enjoyed dominating a server with an ex-girlfriend before, it presented an opportunity for bonding over a shared interest and promoted thinking as a unit.
I don't take issue with your passing judgment; it's a critical thing to do in order to make decisions every day. However, your judgment was passed too quickly. I bring to this conversation real-world evidence, even if it is only one case. Man and woman are married, have daughter. Later, woman cheats on man. Man finds out. Woman continues to cheat. Weak-spined man continues to forgive, expecting something to change as he goes on and continues to be a good father. Woman divorces man and marries her latest boyfriend. Court grants custody of daughter and almost all possessions to woman. Man is stuck paying $20k/yr child support in addition to college for the next 12 years. There are more details that were not mentioned, but suffice to say every detail points to this: this woman is a bitch and this man is a good person. The man was treated wrongly by the court.
So one thing to take from this story is that sometimes good husbands and fathers are given a raw deal only because their wives are terrible people and they made a bad judgment to marry.
I don't know about you all, but there were moments during many an NES battle between my sisters and I that ended with a chunky controller being flung toward a skull. If you threw MMO drama into the mix, a family like mine may well end up pressing charges.
Those NES pads had some corners, I tellya what..
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I realise reading TFA is a quite an ordeal for todays ridlin fed ADD youth, but it even says in the SUMMARY, "At the time, I wasn't a huge MMORPG player, so I didn't envision the role it would play."
He didn't start gaming until AFTER the divorce. Most likely either he, or his wife moved and the wife maintained custody. He could have been the best father ever, and the divorce could have been amicable, but if he or his x-wife moved across the country you can't honestly expect him to commute 2500 miles for 4 hours 3 nights a week. Sitting in front of a web cam for 4 hours a night talking to your father could get rather boring for a child. Why not spend an hour talking about life, then playing a game together? Seems like a perfectly good way to hang out with a child from across the country.
-Rick
"Most people in the U.S. wouldn't know they live in a tyrannical state if it walked up and grabbed their junk." - MyFirs
Perhaps the gaming had nothing to do with the divorce. People do get divorced for lots of other reasons. Some people just don't belong together and realize it too late.
He did mention that this was before the MMOGs hit so big.
You do have to admit that his seeing his kids via webcam is better than not seeing them at all. At least he's still involved.
Her favorite configuration is Protoss (her) & Protoss (me) vs. Zerg (computer.)
I wrote about how she used to play the Terrans on my blog a while back.
If I'm lost in online stuff, I hear: "C'mon daddy, it's time to play StarCraft."
...Maims Together.
My girlfriend (who's at uni) and I play together, along with her mum. Talk about awkward
No shit.
On the plus side, her mum likes me without having met me.
Eh?........ Oh, computer games, I get it.
I'm divorced.
I don't get to see my kids every single day. Technically, I'm supposed to be able to talk to my kids every single day on the phone. In actuality, I get to talk to the answering machine 4 times out of every five that I call.
My kids are a little too young to play online with me. But in only a year or two, my daughter will be ready to play games. She knows my MMORPG of choice. I'll happily pay her membership. It will be just one more option that we can use to communicate.
It's one more tool at my disposal. Judge all you want. *My* kids know I'm trying.
- Zarquil
It's even more sad that watching TV counts as "quality time" for some people. At least in an MMORPG you're actually interacting with the other person, talking to them, and doing something together. Yes, it would probably be better to go outside and play catch or something, but that might not be practical if you're in another state (or it's raining out, etc). Then again, playing chess counts as quality time, right? Would playing chess on a computer be better/worse than playing chess with a real chess set? Anyway it's a lot more interactive that everyone just sitting in the same room staring at the TV.
Remember the days when Republicans were the party of fiscal responsibility?
The whole concept of marriage is outdated and unsuitable for modern life. We don't live on farms anymore. Our children are not free labor to harvest our crops anymore. As much as I hate to admit it, children are a public good. They should be supported by taxes.
How we know is more important than what we know.
One flight in an airplane w/a squalling infant who takes a dump 3 minutes into takeoff will have you reading Swift's Modest Proposal as a How-To guide.
You better watch out, there may be dogs about . .
As much as I hate to admit it, children are a public good. They should be supported by taxes.
(I really shouldn't feed the trolls, but this one is a little too good to pass up.)
Your plan is really quite fascinating, but it has a couple little kinks that will have to be worked out before you put it before Congress/Parliament/etc.:
1. It is inherently unfair. Suppose Citizen A is a single, employed man. Citizen B is an unemployed, "deadbeat dad" with 6 children. Why should Citizen A be forced to pay a monetary fine because Citizen B doesn't want to wear a condom during sex with his wife/girlfriend/partner/whore? Why should the conseqences of Citizen B's actions be paid for by everyone else? Should we also start paying for each others' car insurance, so that Citizen B isn't inconvenienced when he causes $20,000 in property damage when he tries to drive himself home after a night of drinking?
2. It is inherently unwise. Would you actually want your children to be raised or even paid-for by the government? Aside from such Brave New World-esque concerns as brainwashing ("Don't worry Senator, in 6 years when you run for President, you'll have enough 'supporters' to carry you through in 7 key states; I'll see to that! *evil laughter, thunder sounds*"), there is the more practical concern of money—in particular, the taking of money and flushing it down the toilet via a monolithic bureaucracy which spends 30-40% of the taxes maintaining itself, instead of supporting the children.
3. It is based on false assumptions. You say that children are a "public good". Is my life enriched because the couple next-door had a couple brats who scream and shout at all hours when I'm trying to sleep? Is your child's life enriched when she has to be crammed into a classroom with 40 other kids because there aren't enough teachers to handle them all? Children are not a public good, nor are they a public responsibility. Both the benefit and the responsibility of raising children are private, belonging only to those individuals who know and care for the children (parents, relatives, etc.).
Don't worry, though; I'm sure if you fix these small problems in your plan, it will be workable.
Err.. hrmm.. well, no, it looks like your plan would be quite non-existent then. Sorry if I let the air out of your balloon.
Uhuh, so you're suggesting that you receive no benefit from there being a fresh batch of teenagers entering the workforce every year.
If I had suggested such a thing, it would have been a foolish and unprovable claim. It would also be foolish to suggest, as you are doing, that teenagers are entering the workforce to provide some intangible benefit to "society". They are already being compensated for the benefit that they provide.
If the parents do a good job, they too are rewarded for their years of labor spent raising a child: both from the satisfaction of a "job well done" continuing the species and their own genes, and from emotional and material support in their old age.
Point out the person who is providing a service to me, but whom is not being paid for that service, and I will pay him in proportion to the services rendered. But don't expect me to give my money to nameless strangers so they can collect a second paycheck, nor to pay for services provided to people I have never even met.
We all enjoy the benefits of scientific discoveries and, as any mathematician will tell you, its a game for the young.
At what point did I suggest that humanity should stop breeding? Humanity has had quite a lot of success makin' babies without everyone else paying for the diapers afterwards; I see no reason why people would suddenly change their mating habits in response to the government abstaining (no pun intended) from trying to re-shape society.
We all enjoy the benefits of discoveries, yes, but we also compensate the discoverer—or, at least, such would be the case with a functional patent system. Right now, there are quite a few people making fortunes from other people's work (something which closely resembles what you are proposing, in fact). But that's another issue entirely.
Maybe someday we'll reverse the aging process and the effect children have on society will become negative, but until then we can either continue our hand-off, see no evil, hear no evil approach to introducing children to society or we can encourage parents to utilize the services of a professional child carer - and no, I'm not talking about a school teacher!
I'm not sure where you got the idea that all parents are perpetuating some great crime against each generation of infants, but I can assure you that there exist some parents who actually do a decent job of raising kids on their own.
Of course, there are bad parents, too—people who, in fairness, shouldn't have tried to raise children. But I take issue with your idea of taxing everyone, including the good parents, to pay for the mistakes of a few. You talk about the current system as a "see no evil, hear no evil" approach—what, then, do you call it when the government steps in and says, "You've done something bad, and that was unfortunate. But we'll take care of it. Don't you worry your little head. There's no need for you to change."
I'd also like to make clear that there is a major difference between encouraging certain parents to use child care and mandating that all parents use child care. One is optional, a mere suggestion of possible benefit. The other is an order, backed by threat of imprisonment and other forms of physical force. (I am not saying that the government will send the army to your door if you don't pay taxes one year; but a tax is a law, and a law is ultimately supported by the government's ability to enforce it through physical force.)
It's sad that mmorpg gaming counts as "quality time" with their family for some people.
I play World of Warcraft with my brother, who lives 850 miles away. It's either that or talking on the phone. At least in the game we can not only chat, but "do" something together. My wife also plays. While we don't count that as quality time together, it is just one more activity that we do together to have fun. Hell, our son even joins in sometimes. Just about all he can do is mash the keyboard to make our guys do random stuff like run around in circles and jump, but he loves it.
The key is that this is just one thing we do together. We play, we have fun, and we do other stuff, too.
24 beers in a case, 24 hours in a day. Coincidence? I think not!