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FBI Agents Don't Have Email Access

Posted by ryuzaki0 on from the lazy-it dept.

the_bikeman writes "According to CNN, many FBI agents do not have access to an email account, and only 100 of the 2000 New York FBI agents have a Internet-ready mobile phone. Spokeswoman Cathy Milhoan said 'e-mail addresses are still being assigned, adding that the city bureau's 2,000 employees would all have accounts by the end of the year.'"

28 of 308 comments (clear)

  1. How convenient! by BadAnalogyGuy · · Score: 5, Funny

    I have 4 Gmail accounts with 500 invitations left each! How many Get Out Of Jail Free cards can I buy?

    1. Re:How convenient! by mysqlrocks · · Score: 4, Funny

      Or they could get "Gmail for your domain" :-)

      I wonder what kind of ads they would get?

      --
      Bradley Holt
    2. Re:How convenient! by DrSkwid · · Score: 5, Funny

      nah, you need Gman account !

      --
      There are places where the networks are not touching,and there are places where they are-Boeing's Lori Gunter
    3. Re:How convenient! by DerGeist · · Score: 5, Funny
      Looking for TOP SECRET: Operation: Deadbolt? Find it on eBay!

      Can't find Narcotics smuggler Alberto Ramirez? Use AskJeeves.com!

      Make your own heroin, cocaine and ecstasy using our Home ChemLab 2.0!

      ...just imagine them investigating a pedo case.

    4. Re:How convenient! by magores · · Score: 2, Funny

      FBI + No Email = Lot's of spam for people

      FBI + Email = Finally some real results against spam?

      ----

    5. Re:How convenient! by tupps · · Score: 2, Funny

      I deceptively mask my email by having 1 or 2 real emails and thousands of spam emails.

      --
      Go out and get sailing!
    6. Re:How convenient! by Thuktun · · Score: 3, Funny

      This can be rephrased into a one-liner:

      "The FBI doesn't need their own email access, they have yours!"

  2. It's ALL Vanity by Mattygfunk1 · · Score: 3, Funny

    Agent.Mulder@gmail.com just doesn't have the bragging rights.

    1. Re:It's ALL Vanity by Kenshin · · Score: 4, Funny

      Clearly he'd try for Agent.Mulder@hotmale.com

      But that still wouldn't satisfy his ego.

      --

      Does it make you happy you're so strange?

  3. It's Clear by pete-classic · · Score: 4, Funny

    It's clear that the greatest protection our civil rights have is abject incompetence.

    -Peter

    1. Re:It's Clear by Aspirator · · Score: 5, Funny

      I'll bet most of us would like an employer who told us
      by the end of the year
      to get 2000 email accounts set up.

  4. I, for a first post... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Would welcome my anonymous, unable to communicate federal enforcement overlords....

    If only I knew how to communicate with them!

  5. pre-9/11 by gEvil+(beta) · · Score: 5, Funny

    "FBI agents not having e-mail or Internet access is much too much a pre-9/11 mentality."

    Funny, I thought it was a pre-1995 mentality.

    --
    This guy's the limit!
    1. Re:pre-9/11 by digitaldc · · Score: 1, Funny

      "FBI agents not having e-mail or Internet access is much too much a pre-9/11 mentality."

      Thank GOD for 9/11, otherwise the Bush Administration would be totally without a cause and ineffective...err wait a minute....Never mind.

      --
      He who knows best knows how little he knows. - Thomas Jefferson
  6. No email is fine by me... by JargonScott · · Score: 5, Funny

    I prefer my FBI agents to be out attempting to protect me, not forwarding something to their 10 closest friends so Jesus will bless the kittens that day.

    --
    Nuke Gay Whales for Jesus.
  7. on the plus side by circletimessquare · · Score: 2, Funny

    all FBI agents are certified in morse code and at least half of them have some training in semaphore

    and the next highest placing class out of quantico will be introduced to the fancy new 'telephone' that is rumored that a guy name alexander graham bell has perfected

    --
    intellectual property law is philosophically incoherent. it is your moral duty to ignore it or sabotage it
  8. Wrong spelling! by Rob+T+Firefly · · Score: 1, Funny

    Isn't it obvious? They're G-men, they need G-mail.

    --
    Slashdot Burying Stories About Slashdot Media Owned
  9. Jack Bauer? by timdorr · · Score: 1, Funny

    I dunno about this, because Jack Bauer definitely has a nice PDA. It apparently can hack into computers, control terrorist remote bombs, and self destruct the memory card. These sort of things should be standard issue!

    --
    Tim Dorr
    Owner/Manger
    A Small Orange
  10. Re:What? by Smidge204 · · Score: 1, Funny

    They don't need their own e-mail addresses. They can just use yours!

    =Smidge=

  11. And if they forgot their password by WebHostingGuy · · Score: 5, Funny

    And if they forgot their password to the account they could just get the Justice Department to subpoena their emails for them...

    --
    Quality Hosting e3 Servers
  12. Would it be just like the movies? by Jim+in+Buffalo · · Score: 3, Funny

    If they did get email addresses, would it be just like the way email is in the movies, where the font is 24-point white or yellow lettering that scrolls in real-time across a black background that takes up the entire screen?

    --
    This sig, aah-ah, is comin' like a ghost-sig...
  13. "But can't I fax it to you?" by elrous0 · · Score: 2, Funny
    I work in 2006, among people who supposedly have college degrees. And yet I wish had a nickel for every time I've sent someone a 100+ page document via email, only to have them *FAX* me back changes.

    -Eric

    --
    SJW: Someone who has run out of real oppression, and has to fake it.
    1. Re:"But can't I fax it to you?" by caffeination · · Score: 3, Funny
      You have it easy. I work in 2056, among college graduates like in your job, but in my job, monkeys have taken over the world. It's not all bad, I mean even these monkeys know to use email for big papers like the ones you mention, but they fucking stink of shit. I mean jeez!

      I would have got a job in a better timeline, but that's the price of taking a liberal arts degree..

  14. Access by Anne_Nonymous · · Score: 5, Funny

    >> many FBI agents do not have access to an email account

    Not true, not true. They have access to many email accounts, they just don't have accounts of their own.

  15. I don't get it by iminplaya · · Score: 4, Funny

    They have access to my email...

    --
    What?
  16. Re:That's Just Crap... by fishbowl · · Score: 3, Funny

    "Are we going to drag our whole government operation down to the level of the least competent person in the organization? "

    Yes! In fact, we're going to put that psrson in charge!

    --
    -fb Everything not expressly forbidden is now mandatory.
  17. Re:You laugh by particle_fizax · · Score: 2, Funny

    I think you'd be surprised exactly how much manpower the intelligence community actually has. I'd back that up, but hey, I know how much manpower the intelligence community actually has.

  18. Re:RTFA. We're talking about law enforcement. by Joe+the+Lesser · · Score: 2, Funny

    Well, look at the white house...

    --
    "I only speak the truth"
    Karma: null(Mostly affected by an unassigned variable)