Slashdot Mirror
Forbes Says Vista Not People Ready
Diomedes01 writes "Daniel Lyons has an opinion piece up on Forbes.com about a recent press conference held by Microsoft, and the results are anything but flattering."
← Back to Stories (view on slashdot.org)
Vista not People Ready
But, but, but... "When you combine people and technology, you have a very powerful combination." Fashion designer (and part time Microsoft shill) Tommy Hilfiger said so! So it MUST be true! Vista is the future! Viva la Vista!
Seriously, though. A voice command from your cellphone to check email? What are these guys smoking?
Javascript + Nintendo DSi = DSiCade
FTA: Microsoft execs also talked about "Impacting People," then they dragged out fashion designer Tommy Hilfiger, who seemed very "impacted" as he sang praise for Microsoft programs ...
"When you combine people and technology, you have a very powerful combination." Think about that. Just let it sink in for a minute.
I for one welcome our new Vista powered overlords.
Yeah, but when you have questions about reproductive activities, you've got instant tech support...
Human being (n.): A genetically human, genetically distinct, functioning organism.
The new 'Aero' technology is no match for my sisters' Airhead logic.
I feel your pain.
The cesspool just got a check and balance.
Wait a minute, are you from West Virginia?
My work here is dung.
> Instead, we got a demo that was about as compelling as a root canal followed by a 15-minute press conference with Ballmer, the Microsoft chief executive who seems incapable of speaking at any level softer than a bellow.
>[...]
>I wonder if Ballmer ever feels like the guy in Groundhog Day, reliving the same press conference, over and over. I know I do.
Developers. Developers, Developers, Developers, Developers, Developers, Developers, Developers, Developers, Developers, Developers, Developers, Developers, Developers, Developers, Developers, Developers, Developers, Developers.
Gee, I wonder why it feels like Groundhog Day.
(I was in the Virgin Islands once. I met Natalie Portman. We ate hot grits and drank pina coladas from tikis made of petrified wood. At sunset we made love like sea otters. *That* was a pretty good day. Why couldn't I get that day over and over and over...)
...people will just have to twist their ways until it fits. "To open the CD-Rom you just have to press ALT+E+P with you hands then Num Lock with your nose and it will eject"
SolarVPS - Quality Windows and Linux Virtual Servers
You see, this is an example of where the article goes wrong. Daniel Lyons didn't realize they were talking about this kind of impaction.
----------------------------------- My Other Sig Is Hilarious -----------------------------------
I find your lack of faith disturbing.
"Windows Vista -- Get The Facts"
"Windows Vista -- A Powerful Combination Of Combined Powers"
"Windows Vista -- Sheep Ready"
"Windows Vista -- Because The Richest Bloke In The World Says So"
"Windows Vista -- Almost Ready"
"Windows Vista -- Or I Hit You With This Chair"
Rich And Stupid is not so bad as Working For Rich And Stupid.
Prehaps its following that old *NIX joke.
"UNIX is user-friendly, its just picky about who its friends are"
SolarVPS - Quality Windows and Linux Virtual Servers
Dude, if it's coming out of you yellow, then you need to see a doctor, now.
Splendid discernment. Simply splendid.
Let's take my three sisters. Each has a degree in biology. Each considers me their personal tech support when anything "breaks." It sucks.
OK, you clearly have issues.
What you haven't realized is your hostility towards your sisters is a form of transferance. You are transferring your need to show your mother that you are a competent adult (and thus worthy of regard) onto your sisters, and projecting your own infantile dependency onto them. It is worth noting that while you must constantly demonstrate your expertise and competence in computers to them, they have no compulsion to retern the favor by offering you help in their area of expertise. Likely this difference is due to insecure paternal attachment on your part. Could this be unresolved castration anxiety? Certainly that would explain the difference between you and you sisters. In any case, the underlying assymetry in your relationship reinforces your infantile anxiety, which creates rage, part of which is displaced onto Microsoft, the balance of which is sublimated in the form of further demonstrations of technical competence. Naturally, such heroic (dare I say histrionic?) demonstrations of technical finesse that only exacerabate your problem.
What you need to do is to address the imbalance in your relationship to your sisters. A few concrete suggestions:
* Encourage them to install the beta of Vista. Then when they have problems, throw up your hands and confess you don't know anything about Microsoft operating systems.
* Develop a stock response to technical question and consistently use it for every problem no matter how trivial e.g., "Try reformatting your hard drive and reinstalling the operating system." This will encourage your sisters to be less dependent on you.
* Demand that your sisters provide you with equivalent services in their areas of expertise. For example, why did your last batch of homebrew beer come out sour? What can you do about the crabgrass on your lawn? When you are going out on a date after work, how can you avoid having body odor even if you've showered in the morning (claim you are allergic to deoderant)?
Follow this strategy, and you cannot help but develop a more adult, mutually satisfying relationship with your siblings.
Post may contain irony: discontinue use if experiencing mood swings, nausea or elevated blood pressure.
Interestingly enough, when I was 17 I was asked by an attractive 22 year old woman what the difference between sperm and semen was. I cowardly responded by explaining the differences using technical language, rather than the slightly contrived situation involving a "practical lesson" that I ususally tell my friends.
When Argumentum ad Hominem falls short, try Argumentum ad Matrem
"When you combine people and technology, you have a very powerful combination"
Yeah, its called the Borg.
RESISTANCE IS FUTILE!!!!
I used to use Photoshop to produce $500,000,000 worth of profesionnal-quality documents every months. But then, they introcued some annoying security feature, and I had to switch to the gimp!
They could charge $2000 for office and I would still buy it,
Careful there. They won't accept "documents" produced by Office as payment for the software itself. That would be too easy...
Don't read many newspapers, or watch much television, do you?
I'm not tense. I'm just terribly, terribly, alert.
Daikavista.
My humor is probably your flamebait
Maybe you can help me with this, it gets really confusing now. My sisters are seated at computers. And when they touch them, they turn into toilets full of excrement--not working at all. But as I walk down the line, my mere touch turns them into golden Alienware desktops running at the speed of light. They get on their knees and start to worship me and again I'm laughing maniacly.
I know this sounds kind of gross and I have issues, but what does it all mean, doc?
Ah, yes. Excrement that turns into gold. This a dream motif commonly seen in the anal-expulsive personality type, which as we all know is characterized by high levels of conceit and ambition. This should, I believe, be watched closely. We should consider increasing the frequency of our sessions to twice a week (at the normal rate of course), for is not unusal for these tendencies to grow into an intractable and malignant narcissism.
For a fascinating example of a parallel case in which the same dream motif if found, see the case study of "Bill G." published in a recent Zeitschrift der Analyse von Träumen. The details of this case are an extreme example, it is true, nonetheless it is well that they should give us pause.
Post may contain irony: discontinue use if experiencing mood swings, nausea or elevated blood pressure.
Dumb it down for me, doc, I'm a freaking Slashdot poster for Christ's sake!
My work here is dung.
A design firm where only 17% of the employees are designers? Maybe if the others had Macs they'd get more work done and you wouldn't need such a bloated payroll.
"Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all other countries because you were born in it." -- GBS