Software Developer Beats Pirate in Boxing Ring

utki writes "The Moscow Times is reporting that the chief software architect at Russian software developer Cognitive Technologies, Andrei Smirnov, recently won a boxing match organized between himself and a software pirate he caught selling bootlegged software CD's at a Moscow market. At last, a practical and entertaining model for dealing with software piracy (MPAA and RIAA take note), and perhaps a useful way to channel Steve Ballmer's aggression too."

Comments

remember kids:

[Surt]

Words are not the answer, fists will better solve your problems.

Re:remember kids:

[HolyCrapSCOsux]

Would have been slightly more interesting if the outcome was the opposite.

Re:remember kids:

[Valdrax]

Would have been slightly more interesting if the outcome was the opposite.

No it wouldn't. Continuing the fight was the pirate's idea (no idea who started it). It's poetic justice that the thug who wanted to keep fighting got a beating for it.

Of course, I much prefer living in a country where the cops tell both sides to cool it off, but maybe that's just me.

Re:remember kids:

[Lumpy]

Actually at times it is.

My daughter was constantly beign harassed by this girl at school that was patting her down and stealing her money, cellphone,etc...

I told her that next time to grab her hair and pull down as hard as she can and put her knee in her face as hard as she can without saying a word.

It worked. she did it, the brat went down hard with a broken nose and when the school tried to expel my daughter I was all over the Principal poised with a letter from my lawyer with documentation of the number of times we reported this to him and he did nothing and asked... " How do you want to handle this?" he backed down and let things go.

My daughter has the right to defend her self, and I tell her this daily. She has been "mugged" 5 times in the hallway by this girl and finally had enough. The school refused to deal with it and now the "tough kids" keep away from her because they now know she will fight back hard and without warning. And this is the good school in my area.

Being known as the "crazy" kid in school to the hoodlums is a good thing. I had to put a kid's head through the locker in Junior high to get them to leave me the hell alone. Parents need to be ready to fully back their children when they defend themselves.

Re:remember kids:

[Red Flayer]

If he was a real pirate, he would have brought a cutlass. His own fault that he lost, really.

/Yarrrr.

Re:remember kids:

[Xzzy]

We all just need more love, that is the answer. =)

The females I try to talk to when doing my laundary at the local coin-op apparently never got that memo.

Re:remember kids:

[Atzanteol]

I don't do this too often, but I'm just going to go ahead and tell you that you're wrong and why: you've taught the child to 'get somebody else to solve their poblems.'

Fighting a bully has two very important results:

1) Staving off the bully. Not always permanantly, but at least 'for a while.'
2) Building self-respect and confidence in the child defending his/herself.

(2) is must more long-lasting than (1), and therefore much more imporant IMHO. While you may stop the bully from fighting you by calling the police, you've now likely unleashed *years* of being called a 'tattle' and 'baby' by not only the bullies, but others who will view your actions as weak or 'weird.' Thus making a bad situation worse. Can you call the cops for children making fun of you? No. You can't always rely on others, but you *can* rely on yourself.

I had my bully in grade-school. Every year he would pick a fight with me, or tease me, or whatever. Every year my mother told me to go "punch him in the nose" and I would. He'd lay off for a year or so, and I'd do it again. Every time I fought back I felt better about myself. Not because I liked fighting (far from it), but like a "man" I defended my right to exist without help from others. Sure I got hurt. But that only lasted short amount of time. The confidence I recieved, however, has lasted much longer. To this day I'm not afraid to fight back either verbally or physically, though I prefer verbally. I wasn't taught to be violent, but to have self respect and not let others walk all over me.

I welcome a counter argument, but I'm unlikely to be swayed. I've heard many people say "I wish I'd fought back" on some matter, and I've *never* heard anybody say "wow, I should have just run for help rather than arguing back."

Re:remember kids:

[c6gunner]

I can see how that went...

O: What do you mean I can't smoke this joint on the street?
P: It's illegal.
O: Well, what do you think about that law?
P: I'm just doing my job.

O: What do you mean I'm trespassing?!?!
P: You're staging a sit-in in the presidents office.
O: So??? Don't you think we should be allowed to do that?
P: Hey man, I'm just doing my job.

O: Are you seriously telling me I'm not allowed to drive 120mph in a 35 zone?
P: .....

Maybe if you'd stop breaking the law, you wouldn't end up "on the other side of the argument"? Just a thought...

FYI, whether it's cops, soldiers, firefighters, or EMT's, none of them are likely to express their personal or political beleifs to you while in uniform. The reason for it simple and should be obvious; the organizations involved don't want that one individuals opinion to be blown out of proportion and made to reflect badly on the entire organizaton. What would be the media response if a handful of cops or soldiers went around telling anyone who would listen that "all ragheads should die" or that "there's nothing wrong with snorting the occasional line"?

All the left wing organizations could learn a thing or two from that. The main problem with their image is that, while the majority may be quite moderate, the extreme views of a few individuals get all the media time, and reflect badly on everyone associated with them.

Re:remember kids:

[pclminion]

uh, health insurance means that society would be footing the bill.

The sorts of people who want to solve their problems by beating the shit out of each other don't care whether it's legal or not -- they're going to do it ANYWAY. And guess what -- we ALREADY pay, as a society, for the injuries sustained in street brawls.

The only difference here, is that by making street fighting legal, we no longer have to pay to INCARCERATE the participants. Obviously this SAVES us money.

Re:remember kids:

[chris_eineke]

My god, that sounds like a good piece of good comedy right there.

A horde of thugs storms into a police building, wearing hoodies, lots of bling, and Mercedes-Benz pendants...

Thug 1: Officer! Of-fic-cer!

Clerk looks up, eyes the gang

Clerk: Yes, what can I do for you?

Thug 1: We need to pop a cap in each other's asses, yo.

Clerk: Ah, yes. I see. Okay, everyone needs to fill out form Gee Emm One Three Dash Twenty-Three and sign this weaver.

Thug 2: I ain't signin' no beaver!

Clerk: No beavers here, son.

Thug 2: I ain't seein' no women here!

Clerk gets annoyed.

Clerk: Son, if you want to fuck with me, you need to fill out form Gee Tee Eff Out Pronto. Now take this pen, sign here, here, here, and here. You guys can then pass through here and go into our backyard. Enjoy your battle and don't try to kill to many people.

The thugs start walking

Clerk: Oh, I forgot to tell you that'll cost you 100 bucks for each of you.

Thugs turn around

Clerk: Sorry, it's an administrative fee.

Thugs turn to themselves, huddle together, then suddenly one of them throws a bundle of money at the clerk.

Clerk: Thanks.

Brought to you by your Libertarian Party. ;-)

Finally!

[matt328]

I wouldn't mind being challenged to go a few rounds with the artists/movie producers whose works I've pirated. Depending on the artist, I could probably go 10 rounds on hate alone.

Re:Finally!

[iamlucky13]

Ok, since we're talking software pirates here, not real pirates (otherwise the outcome would be obvious) who wins in an average matchup?

Software pirate - Probably very pale and skinny due to skipping meals and time outside in order hack or organize pirated playlists. Resulting low vitamin intake can affect durability. Small target. Hyped up on caffeine. +5 to defense, +7 to speed, -10 to HP, -4 to strength. Levels up 20% faster due to time spent playing Fight Night on modded Xbox.

Software designer - Tends to be larger due to snacking on the job. Caffeine adds no bonus (addicted). Large mass can offer several advantages. -4 to defense, -10 to speed, +10 to HP, +6 to strength. Can invoke Putrid Socks of Nonwashing.

What's next?

[tizzyD]

Do I get to open up a can of Whoop Ass on Ballmer for making me buy PCs with Windows? He's robbing from me!

Come to think of it, after seeing "Dance Monkey Boy," I see that his kung fu is quite strong. I doubt though that he could defend against my Iron Developer Technique!

Ballmer?

[DrMrLordX]

I thought he screamed, postured, and threw his own feces when threatened. Boxing doesn't seem to be his thing.

I can see it now...

[kitejumping]

Pirates friend: It's suicide! You've seen him, you know how strong he is. You can't win!
Smirnov: You will lose.
Software Dev's friend: Whatever he hits, he destroys.
Smirnov: I must break you.
Smirnov: If he dies, he dies.

The FSM is not pleased

[slaker]

Woe be to software developers who persecute The Chosen of the Flying Spaghetti Monster! I foresee noodly vengence! When the seas turn red from Marinara and the pirates run rampant through the streets of Moscow, all will know the power and glory of Pastafarianism!

RAmen

read your eulas

[stinky wizzleteats]

I can't wait to see a "kick your ass" provision in a shrinkwrap license.

Re:OT: Sig

[pNutz]

Ah, the launch codes. Thank you Dmitri. Payment is in the usual location.

Sports Section Headlines

[cpt_rhetoric]

"Mike Tyson, VP of Software Sales for XXXX, sucessfully defends World Patent Championship belt"

In other news, "Don King promotes new Dice.com job search section aimed at boxing elite"

I like my odds...

[dominator]

against 85 year old ex-MPAA mogul Jack Valenti ;)

*ducks*

Re:Violence is generally not the answer

[Fnkmaster]

Sorry, you're totally wrong. Kneeing somebody in the face is absolutely a justifiable response to a mugging. He didn't tell his daughter to shoot to kill, though depending on the severity of a mugging, the law might look at that as a justifiable response as well (in this case, probably not).

If somebody has beaten and bloodied you in order to steal your money or possessions and attempts to do so again, then beating and bloodying them when attacked (not as a retributive move) could not possibly be seen as excessive force.

If they choose to escalate further from there, and somebody were to say, put a bullet in their head in self-defense, then it is entirely justified too. The police are there to protect and serve, but they can't watch your back every minute. Self-defense from violent criminals is a constitutionally-guaranteed right (this is coming from a fairly liberal Democrat too, though I am admittedly pro-Second Amendment, within a reasonable context).