Software Developer Beats Pirate in Boxing Ring

utki writes "The Moscow Times is reporting that the chief software architect at Russian software developer Cognitive Technologies, Andrei Smirnov, recently won a boxing match organized between himself and a software pirate he caught selling bootlegged software CD's at a Moscow market. At last, a practical and entertaining model for dealing with software piracy (MPAA and RIAA take note), and perhaps a useful way to channel Steve Ballmer's aggression too."

Comments

remember kids:

[Surt]

Words are not the answer, fists will better solve your problems.

Re:remember kids:

[HolyCrapSCOsux]

Would have been slightly more interesting if the outcome was the opposite.

Re:remember kids:

[Valdrax]

Would have been slightly more interesting if the outcome was the opposite.

No it wouldn't. Continuing the fight was the pirate's idea (no idea who started it). It's poetic justice that the thug who wanted to keep fighting got a beating for it.

Of course, I much prefer living in a country where the cops tell both sides to cool it off, but maybe that's just me.

Re:remember kids:

[Lumpy]

Actually at times it is.

My daughter was constantly beign harassed by this girl at school that was patting her down and stealing her money, cellphone,etc...

I told her that next time to grab her hair and pull down as hard as she can and put her knee in her face as hard as she can without saying a word.

It worked. she did it, the brat went down hard with a broken nose and when the school tried to expel my daughter I was all over the Principal poised with a letter from my lawyer with documentation of the number of times we reported this to him and he did nothing and asked... " How do you want to handle this?" he backed down and let things go.

My daughter has the right to defend her self, and I tell her this daily. She has been "mugged" 5 times in the hallway by this girl and finally had enough. The school refused to deal with it and now the "tough kids" keep away from her because they now know she will fight back hard and without warning. And this is the good school in my area.

Being known as the "crazy" kid in school to the hoodlums is a good thing. I had to put a kid's head through the locker in Junior high to get them to leave me the hell alone. Parents need to be ready to fully back their children when they defend themselves.

Re:remember kids:

[drinkypoo]

Personally, I'd prefer it if it were ok to have street fights, but both sides had to sign a waiver in the presence of a responsible individual (like a law enforcement officer) and they should only be allowed to do this if they have their own health insurance or otherwise are capable of paying their own medical bills. Society shouldn't foot the bill for it, but who are we to tell people they can't fight if they want to?

Re:remember kids:

[Red Flayer]

If he was a real pirate, he would have brought a cutlass. His own fault that he lost, really.

/Yarrrr.

Re:remember kids:

[Xzzy]

We all just need more love, that is the answer. =)

The females I try to talk to when doing my laundary at the local coin-op apparently never got that memo.

Re:remember kids:

[Atzanteol]

I don't do this too often, but I'm just going to go ahead and tell you that you're wrong and why: you've taught the child to 'get somebody else to solve their poblems.'

Fighting a bully has two very important results:

1) Staving off the bully. Not always permanantly, but at least 'for a while.'
2) Building self-respect and confidence in the child defending his/herself.

(2) is must more long-lasting than (1), and therefore much more imporant IMHO. While you may stop the bully from fighting you by calling the police, you've now likely unleashed *years* of being called a 'tattle' and 'baby' by not only the bullies, but others who will view your actions as weak or 'weird.' Thus making a bad situation worse. Can you call the cops for children making fun of you? No. You can't always rely on others, but you *can* rely on yourself.

I had my bully in grade-school. Every year he would pick a fight with me, or tease me, or whatever. Every year my mother told me to go "punch him in the nose" and I would. He'd lay off for a year or so, and I'd do it again. Every time I fought back I felt better about myself. Not because I liked fighting (far from it), but like a "man" I defended my right to exist without help from others. Sure I got hurt. But that only lasted short amount of time. The confidence I recieved, however, has lasted much longer. To this day I'm not afraid to fight back either verbally or physically, though I prefer verbally. I wasn't taught to be violent, but to have self respect and not let others walk all over me.

I welcome a counter argument, but I'm unlikely to be swayed. I've heard many people say "I wish I'd fought back" on some matter, and I've *never* heard anybody say "wow, I should have just run for help rather than arguing back."

Re:remember kids:

[MyLongNickName]

That is their job. I do not want police officers putting their personal opinions above the law. As far as pigs, they aren't. Actually, I do know a couple that would do more mood lying under a bus. But the majority are decent. I've gotten to know a few who work with the community, and they are decent guys who have to put up with a lot of shit.

I'd be willing to bet that half of the Slashdotters here would have gone off on someone (physically) at least one time dealing with the stuff that they have to put up with. I hear folks whine about their sys admin job and getting the same stupid question 20 times. One anecdote: Try going into someone's house from a 9-1-1 call, finding a guy drowning in his own alchol induced vomit, going to pull him out of it, and having his family members getting in your face yelling at you becuase it took you 10 minues to get there.

Of course, I think Rodney King got off too easy.

Re:remember kids:

[c6gunner]

I can see how that went...

O: What do you mean I can't smoke this joint on the street?
P: It's illegal.
O: Well, what do you think about that law?
P: I'm just doing my job.

O: What do you mean I'm trespassing?!?!
P: You're staging a sit-in in the presidents office.
O: So??? Don't you think we should be allowed to do that?
P: Hey man, I'm just doing my job.

O: Are you seriously telling me I'm not allowed to drive 120mph in a 35 zone?
P: .....

Maybe if you'd stop breaking the law, you wouldn't end up "on the other side of the argument"? Just a thought...

FYI, whether it's cops, soldiers, firefighters, or EMT's, none of them are likely to express their personal or political beleifs to you while in uniform. The reason for it simple and should be obvious; the organizations involved don't want that one individuals opinion to be blown out of proportion and made to reflect badly on the entire organizaton. What would be the media response if a handful of cops or soldiers went around telling anyone who would listen that "all ragheads should die" or that "there's nothing wrong with snorting the occasional line"?

All the left wing organizations could learn a thing or two from that. The main problem with their image is that, while the majority may be quite moderate, the extreme views of a few individuals get all the media time, and reflect badly on everyone associated with them.

Re:remember kids:

[Anonymous Coward]

One time I was sprayed with mace by a few stupid kids about 1 ft shorter than me while I was visiting Russia. It was at close enough range that I suspect they tagged themselves pretty good too. It took 3 days to wear off.

I certainly didn't give them any money, but I mentioned "Fuck off" and turned around and slowly walked away. Most Russians don't have contact lenses, which I was later told gave me an extra 30-45 seconds. They probably thought I was Superman.

My friend wanted to beat the hell out of them, and I was tempted, but I was more unhappy with the prospect of some police coming over and soliciting bribes from the "rich foreigners" to get out of a Russian jail, pay medical bills and "fines" for "beating up the poor local children."

I'm glad I didn't fight back that time.

Re:remember kids:

[pclminion]

uh, health insurance means that society would be footing the bill.

The sorts of people who want to solve their problems by beating the shit out of each other don't care whether it's legal or not -- they're going to do it ANYWAY. And guess what -- we ALREADY pay, as a society, for the injuries sustained in street brawls.

The only difference here, is that by making street fighting legal, we no longer have to pay to INCARCERATE the participants. Obviously this SAVES us money.

Re:remember kids:

[chris_eineke]

My god, that sounds like a good piece of good comedy right there.

A horde of thugs storms into a police building, wearing hoodies, lots of bling, and Mercedes-Benz pendants...

Thug 1: Officer! Of-fic-cer!

Clerk looks up, eyes the gang

Clerk: Yes, what can I do for you?

Thug 1: We need to pop a cap in each other's asses, yo.

Clerk: Ah, yes. I see. Okay, everyone needs to fill out form Gee Emm One Three Dash Twenty-Three and sign this weaver.

Thug 2: I ain't signin' no beaver!

Clerk: No beavers here, son.

Thug 2: I ain't seein' no women here!

Clerk gets annoyed.

Clerk: Son, if you want to fuck with me, you need to fill out form Gee Tee Eff Out Pronto. Now take this pen, sign here, here, here, and here. You guys can then pass through here and go into our backyard. Enjoy your battle and don't try to kill to many people.

The thugs start walking

Clerk: Oh, I forgot to tell you that'll cost you 100 bucks for each of you.

Thugs turn around

Clerk: Sorry, it's an administrative fee.

Thugs turn to themselves, huddle together, then suddenly one of them throws a bundle of money at the clerk.

Clerk: Thanks.

Brought to you by your Libertarian Party. ;-)

Re:remember kids:

[MutantHamster]

Concerning number one is the problem that school is not a boxing ring. There is a chance you will encourage a bully to leave you alone temporarily, but often a child like this won't accept getting bested like that. They are likely to plan some sort of retaliation; it's not uncommon for them to get a group of other students to ambush you. There's also the risk that they may have a gun. It may sound drastic but at the public school I go to in a decent, suburban area it's not uncommon for kids to claim popularity based on their criminal records (or the ones they claim to have). No doubt some "gangster" could easily try to prove how tough he is by threatening you with a gun.

Then there is just the issue of whether or not you would be successful at fighting back? What if you only make your assbeating worse by pissing them off? I'm sure most of the posters of Slashdot are not paragons of physical fitness.

Concerning the second item, well, that's much simpler. Last year a kid who had been messing with me relentlessly ended up punching me in the face. He's got to be about 20 pounds smaller than I am, and his beating wasn't exactly merciless. Bearing in mind the fact that I had a large accordion folder in each hand for the duration of the fight, I could've pretty easily punched him in the face.

He punched me in the face once and them jumped on my back and then an older kid pulled him off of me before I had even really realized I was being attacked. I purposefully did not fight back for a number of reasons: 1) I didn't feel like my life or health were in any immediate danger, the only actual effect it had on me physically was my face was slightly red where he hit me, and 2) I figured I would get in less trouble if I didn't do anything back. Unfortunately it turned out "less trouble" meant "two days less of ISS." So now I got my ass kicked in front of an audience and I got ISS; I basically got the shaft.

But get this, I'm much more self confident now than I would've been if I'd "confronted" him. Why? Because I am not a douche bag. I don't believe in fighting unless I feel that it's the only way I have to defend myself, and I don't make exceptions for people who supposedly "have it coming." None of my friends think any less of me because of it because... that's what friends are. If they did change their opinion of me because of it then they are not the kind of people I'd want as friends. This kid is going to wind up either in jail, or dropping out of highschool, meanwhile I am living a pleasant life with real friends. All of my classes this year and next are either Advanced Placement or otherwise exclusive and I don't have to deal with any of the white-trash, Tech Prep trash that makes up the majority of the school, and I'm still good at being funny, and acting, and playing music and all the things I was good at before. Why exactly should I feel less confident now?

If you're wondering what I did to make him hit me, it depends on who you ask. He claims I was talking about having sex with his sister. In actuality, I called him Quackenbush, after a character from John Knowles' A Separate Peace.

Re:remember kids:

[wolfponddelta]

Yeah, sure. Always fight back. Teach your kids that if someone tries to mug you at gunpoint, don't run away for hp, fight back!! Had a college roommate who was on vacation with other friends in a city. Some people tried to mug them, at gunpoint. One of the tough guy idiots with them decided he would fight back. My roommate was shot, the "tough" guy ran away. The whole group that was mugged says "wow, I should have just run for help rather than arguing back."

Throughout school, I was tiny, and so bullied non-stop. I tried every method there was, from telling someone, to ignore it, to being a smart-ass, to fighting back. And every time I fought back, I got the crap kicked out of me. And despite the Disney-esque feel good visions of those who think fighting back makes a bully respect you, the reality is that they laugh and do the same exact thing the next day. Only thing that ever worked to get rid of any bullies was when a girlfriend of one saw him beating on me in a hall, and ripped into him.

If a kid fights back because they're being bullied, then yes, back them up on it. But also teach them there are other ways. Idiotic violence shouldn't be there first response.

Am I a wuss today because I learned that going ballistic and being a violent idiot wouldn't solve anything? No. I stick up for myself, and tell others where to stick it quite frequently. If someone is beating their kid, or being a racist prick within my sight or hearing, I do something about it. If I see kids being bullied, I step in. My stepping in teaches them that there is someone else out there who will help them, they're not alone in the world. And maybe one day they'll return the favour. Teaching them that the only way to solve your problems is by physically fighting back doesn't instill any more self-confidence than teaching them there are idiots in the world, and sometimes it's better to just walk away and laugh or pity them. Self-confidence should come from inside someone, in their own abilities, and not from the ability to kick someone's ass to get rid of a "problem." The bullies don't stop bullying, and there will always be another out there to take their place. Violence will get returned, and rarely makes any point. Especially when the kid you've taught this to does it at age 18, and gets thrown in jail for attempted murder.

Do I think this will change anyone's mind? No. Because some people have decided that violence, or smashing someone's head into a locker, is the only way, despite the fact that all evidence proves there are no weapons of mass destruction.... wait... different issue...

Re:remember kids:

[NATIK]

You really think that a guy selling bootlegged software at a market in Moscow is the good guy?!

If he had just downloaded something and got caught for that I might have agreed, but not when he is actually selling the stuff to people on the street.

Re:remember kids:

[Captain Chaos]

I'd have to agree with you on that. In some cases the bullying can be a serious threat during the act itself. I'm not a fan of Fox news, but Fox 6 in Milwaukee did an award winning undercover investigation called the Bully Project that was quite an eye opener. Along with talking about kids who committed suicide, I clearly remember the story of one young girl who was beat so bad that she received 2 concussions within a couple week period. She liked playing hockey, but her doctor had warned her that it wasn't wise due to the possibility that the next blow to the head would probably kill her. What bothered me the most about the footage from their hidden cameras though was watching the indifference from the teachers on much of the footage. In one instance a young boy was trying to get away from his bullys by climbing a fence and they ripped him right off the fence and continued pounding on him with 2 teachers only a short distance away that were too engrossed in their conversation to do something.

Bullying isn't always a case of the victim walking away with some bruises and maybe a bloody nose, sometimes the damage is much more serious. While I agree with slackartist that your best bet is generally to try and avoid the situation or resolve it non-violently, sometimes things just don't work out that way.

Pay attention Fox Channel....

[smoor]

Man, I can already see the reality show... It will be like People's Court with a twist. Wapner can be the ref... "The Ring of Justice"

Re:Pay attention Fox Channel....

[Anonymous Coward]

Yeah, we could call it the Jerry Springer Show.

Finally!

[matt328]

I wouldn't mind being challenged to go a few rounds with the artists/movie producers whose works I've pirated. Depending on the artist, I could probably go 10 rounds on hate alone.

Re:Finally!

[iamlucky13]

Ok, since we're talking software pirates here, not real pirates (otherwise the outcome would be obvious) who wins in an average matchup?

Software pirate - Probably very pale and skinny due to skipping meals and time outside in order hack or organize pirated playlists. Resulting low vitamin intake can affect durability. Small target. Hyped up on caffeine. +5 to defense, +7 to speed, -10 to HP, -4 to strength. Levels up 20% faster due to time spent playing Fight Night on modded Xbox.

Software designer - Tends to be larger due to snacking on the job. Caffeine adds no bonus (addicted). Large mass can offer several advantages. -4 to defense, -10 to speed, +10 to HP, +6 to strength. Can invoke Putrid Socks of Nonwashing.

What's next?

[tizzyD]

Do I get to open up a can of Whoop Ass on Ballmer for making me buy PCs with Windows? He's robbing from me!

Come to think of it, after seeing "Dance Monkey Boy," I see that his kung fu is quite strong. I doubt though that he could defend against my Iron Developer Technique!

Ballmer?

[DrMrLordX]

I thought he screamed, postured, and threw his own feces when threatened. Boxing doesn't seem to be his thing.

Re:Oh, lordy

[KBAegis]

Damn, you beat me to the punch.

I can see it now...

[kitejumping]

Pirates friend: It's suicide! You've seen him, you know how strong he is. You can't win!
Smirnov: You will lose.
Software Dev's friend: Whatever he hits, he destroys.
Smirnov: I must break you.
Smirnov: If he dies, he dies.

Ballmer entering to f****** kill someone

[Bromskloss]

and perhaps a useful way to channel Steve Ballmer's aggression too

Oh no, no chairs allowed in here, sir!

The FSM is not pleased

[slaker]

Woe be to software developers who persecute The Chosen of the Flying Spaghetti Monster! I foresee noodly vengence! When the seas turn red from Marinara and the pirates run rampant through the streets of Moscow, all will know the power and glory of Pastafarianism!

RAmen

read your eulas

[stinky wizzleteats]

I can't wait to see a "kick your ass" provision in a shrinkwrap license.

OT: Sig

[Anonymous Coward]

49 20 64 65 63 6F 64 65 64 20 79 6F 75 72 20 73 69 67 20 66 6F 72 20 74 68 65 20 73 61 6D 65 20 72 65 61 73 6F 6E 20 79 6F 75 20 64 65 63 6F 64 65 64 20 74 68 69 73 2E 20 3A 2D 50

Re:OT: Sig

[pNutz]

Ah, the launch codes. Thank you Dmitri. Payment is in the usual location.

Sports Section Headlines

[cpt_rhetoric]

"Mike Tyson, VP of Software Sales for XXXX, sucessfully defends World Patent Championship belt"

In other news, "Don King promotes new Dice.com job search section aimed at boxing elite"

I like my odds...

[dominator]

against 85 year old ex-MPAA mogul Jack Valenti ;)

*ducks*

That was a cool story, but

[OldManAndTheC]

... it would have been even better if it had been Steve Ballmer walking down the street and seeing a copy of Microsoft Office for sale, and getting into a fight with the pirate - but the pirate was actually Hulk Hogan, and they were stopped by the police, and Hulk was all like "You want some more, punk!?", and Ballmer was all like "Bring it on, bitch! I'll fucking kill you!", and they got in a cage wrestling match and Ballmer threw a chair at him.

Now THAT would be cool ...

Re:Violence is generally not the answer

[Fnkmaster]

Sorry, you're totally wrong. Kneeing somebody in the face is absolutely a justifiable response to a mugging. He didn't tell his daughter to shoot to kill, though depending on the severity of a mugging, the law might look at that as a justifiable response as well (in this case, probably not).

If somebody has beaten and bloodied you in order to steal your money or possessions and attempts to do so again, then beating and bloodying them when attacked (not as a retributive move) could not possibly be seen as excessive force.

If they choose to escalate further from there, and somebody were to say, put a bullet in their head in self-defense, then it is entirely justified too. The police are there to protect and serve, but they can't watch your back every minute. Self-defense from violent criminals is a constitutionally-guaranteed right (this is coming from a fairly liberal Democrat too, though I am admittedly pro-Second Amendment, within a reasonable context).