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Microsoft's Not So Happy Family

Posted by ryuzaki0 on from the managers-doing-their-jobs-asking-a-bit-much dept.

D.A. Zollinger writes "Reports from Redmond are that Microsoft Employees are not happy with the double delay of Windows and Office being pushed back into 2007. EETimes is reporting that some Microsoft employees are calling for the termination of several top managers Including Brian Valentine, Jim Allchin, and Steve Ballmer for the delay debacle. The report references a blog by Who da'Punk, an anonymous Microsoft employee who asks, where's the accountability for failure? So far the blog entry has generated over 350 comments from Microsoft insiders and outsiders."

12 of 586 comments (clear)

  1. Headless chicken by LiquidCoooled · · Score: 4, Funny

    Not a good day to be a fly on the wall in Ballmers office.

    "I'm going to fucking kill Microsoft!"
    HURL!
    THUD!
    SPLAT!

    Actually though, chopping the head off the chicken might seem like a good idea at the time until you realise its the arsehole that becomes the new leader.

    --
    liqbase :: faster than paper
    1. Re:Headless chicken by justsomebody · · Score: 4, Funny

      Not a good day to be a fly on the wall in Ballmers office.

      ???

      Or did you mean, funny day to be a fly on the wall in Ballmers office, but bad day to be a chair?

      --
      Signature Pro version 1.13.2-3 release 83.5 beta3try7 after-breakfast edition
    2. Re:Headless chicken by geminidomino · · Score: 4, Funny

      Or did you mean, funny day to be a fly on the wall in Ballmers office, but bad day to be a chair?

      What do you think the fly is going to get hit with?

    3. Re:Headless chicken by KiloByte · · Score: 4, Funny

      >Or did you mean, funny day to be a fly on the wall in Ballmers office, but bad day to be a chair?
      What do you think the fly is going to get hit with?

      You see, I've once killed a mosquito with an overhead swing of an axe. I'm a clumsy oaf, but so far my accuracy with axes against insects is 100% (1/1). Now, considering that the smallest throwable thing in an office is a lot wider than an axe's blade, I believe that Ballmer can make it.
      His office is pretty big, so he has at least as many tries as he has chairs.

      --
      The creatures outside looked from Alt-Right to Antifa; but already it was impossible to say which was which.
    4. Re:Headless chicken by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

      From what I understand, his office is only twice as big as any of the other employees. It's just two regular offices with the wall torn out.

      Now as for who tore the wall out and what sort of chair was used in that process, I haven't the slightest idea.

    5. Re:Headless chicken by Antique+Geekmeister · · Score: 5, Funny

      If Ballmer could hit his targets, he wouldn't be in this fix.

    6. Re:Headless chicken by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      Sounds to me like Microsoft is one of the safer places to be, if you're a bug.

      If you could get rid of bugs by throwing chairs at them, Ballmer could have shipped Vista years ago.

  2. Ballmer Replies! by zaguar · · Score: 5, Funny
    In other news, Steve Ballmer vowed to "fucking kill" all anonymous Microsoft employees.

    "I've done it before and I'll do it again," he said. "Anonymity has no place at Microsoft."

    --
    "Sure there's porn and piracy on the Web but there's probably a downside too."
  3. Make no mistake by OpenSourced · · Score: 5, Funny

    Who da'Punk is in fact the real enemy. He wants to end the bloat at Microsoft and convert it into a lean and mean machine of productivity. Imagine what options open source would have if people in Microsoft where devoted to create great software for the users, instead of pursuing their own petty concerns in the corporate ladder. If Who da'Punk and others like him had their way, Microsoft would be user-centric, but keeping the users always within the Microsoft universe. He's planning a world of happy slaves of Microsoft. Now we are all slaves, but at least not happy. In the unsatisfaction of slaves the seeds of change lay. If everybody was contented, the chances of breaking the Microsoft monopoly would be nil (on the other side, we'd be happier and have great software, but still slaves).

    So help him not. Cheer Balmer instead. He's our real ally in this fight.

    --
    Rome taught me patience and assiduous application to detail. Virtues which temper the boldness of great, general views.
  4. Re:Shareholders by BeerCat · · Score: 4, Funny

    And it might be seen as motivational.

    Yeah, right. Motivational as in "all leave is cancelled until morale improves", or "we'll keep firing people until you ship product"

    Unless it's all part of the Linux master plan...

    --
    "She's furniture with a pulse"
  5. Terminate? by dascandy · · Score: 5, Funny
    some Microsoft employees are calling for the termination of several top managers

    Doesn't that qualify as a death threat?

  6. Microspeak? by Stiletto · · Score: 4, Funny

    From the article:
    With the convergence of high-tech media, this holiday season would have been an explosive nodal point to get Vista out for a compounded effect.

    This is why MS can't seem to get it done. They have people working there who ACTUALLY talk like this! I mean, seriously, can anyone translate that sentence into English, please?