Slashdot Mirror
Let Goofy Track Your Children
Rio writes "The Walt Disney Company unveiled a new wireless phone service that allows parents to track their children on a map using Global Positioning System technology, according to Local 6 News. The new "family friendly" service, called Disney Mobile, allows parents to decide who their children can call and when, the report said. The phone service will launch in June and has not been priced yet."
implants based on GPRS/GPS to control where your kids go. if they leave their "safe zone", a tiny electric shock is delivered straight to their brain!! 1 year contract required.
An old-timer with old-timey ideas.
Already innovating for his new pet company :o)
Just waiting for the rants about people should be looking after their children...not technology.
Queue the "queue the 'why the hell can't people parent their kids anymore'" posts...er....queue.....um.. here.
"You know why you do not see me styling wit my homies? Because I have no homies!!" -Mojo Jojo
.... I can buy one for my daughter. While she is away for a day, just throw it into my shady islamic looking neighbors(the ones who let their dog shit in my lawn) no-windowed van. Call 911. Tell them I think I saw him take her... she has a DISNEY CELL PHONE! They find him. Mow him down without question. Everyone scratches their head in confusion. I have a shit free lawn.
The End
"When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back!" -- Cave Johnson
That's why they need to be implantable.
So...GPS is the "Goofy(tm) Positioning System" now?
and if you try to remove them they explode!
How we know is more important than what we know.
Welcome our new Disney overlords.
insert inflammatory anti-microsoft comment here
Return between 2:00AM and 2:20AM on August 21, 2012 to get on this ride.
IUD's? Intra Uterine Devices?
I wouldn't like to see one of them blow...
No no no, that may get blood on the carpet and walls, they need to IMPLODE.
Computers allow humans to make mistakes at the fastest speeds known, with the possible exception of tequila and handguns
1. Tell parents that they'll be over at billy's house for a while
2. Parents see child over at billys house on thier GPS system.
3. Kid leaves phone on doorstep of Billy's house, proceeds to go to the overpass to drop rocks on cars.
4. Cops show up at door with child.
5. Child spends the next week in the bathroom trying trying to crap out my shoe.
6. Child never pulls that stunt again.
7. Child tells the story to his grandkids of the time he tried to pull a fast one on his Dad and ended up passing a size 11 Nike Field General...
Works for me.
*** *** You're just jealous 'cause the voices talk to me... ***
Ah-ha! But can the kids tell where their parents are?
"Quick! Get the coordinates of the Bauer kid"
"Can't do it! He must have turned off the phone and removed the battery"
"Damn it!"
[Insert pithy quote here]
Actually, I believe the joke goes something like this....
Mickey & Minnie are in divorce court. The judge looks at Mickey and asks him, "You want to divorce Minnie, because she is insane?"
Mickey replies, "I never said she was insane, I said she's fucking Goofy!"
Do children track Goofy in Soviet Russia?
You can't handle the truth.
i'd be more worried when the female population discovers
this service and starts to use it on men.
I'd tell you the chances of this story being a dupe, but you wouldn't like it.
Fucking Vorlons, always grabbing kids...
... it's a small world, after all.
Mod Karma -1: I sed bad wurds. If I cep my mouf shut, I wud be at riyses.
Family friendly indeed. Your Big Brother really loves it.
There are no gods but ourselves.